


The Threat Within

by Rainpebbles



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi bond, M/M, jedi q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24093004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainpebbles/pseuds/Rainpebbles
Summary: Jedi Knight James Bond returns to the jedi Temple after the death of one of the High Council members. Soon a bigger threat starts to make itself known, and he has to find a way to protect those he cares about most while still staying in line with the jedi code.
Relationships: James Bond & Alec Trevelyan, James Bond & Eve Moneypenny, James Bond/Q
Comments: 27
Kudos: 69





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All!  
> This is my second 00q fic that I'm working on. It was one of those plots that I kind of idly thought about one day and wasn't able to stop thinking about until I had written an entire outline for it.  
> You don't need to know a whole lot about star wars, just the basics. Most of my details I'm getting from the jedi apprentice books I read back when I was a kid. 
> 
> Some things to clarify though  
> -In my story (and according to George Lucas himself) jedi have sex  
> -As long as they keep it casual and don't get possessive, it's perfectly fine (no being girlfriend/boyfriend)  
> -James and Q will have a jedi type of relationship, but I promise to make it as sweet and smutty as if they were married y'all  
> -Some of my characters are non-human or half-human, but there will not be crazy kinky alien sex (sorry I guess?) 
> 
> I'll try to add clarification in the notes as I add chapters if there is something I think that needs explanation or reference. If you do see something you don't understand, feel free to reach out to me and I'll do my best to expalin!

As Coruscant’s distinctive atmosphere came into view, James couldn’t help the deep sigh that seemed to roll from his very cells and radiate outwards in a crest of warmth. While they weren’t supposed to be possessive or have wants for material things, James didn’t think that any of the jedi living at the Temple could honestly say that they didn’t think of it as home or miss it while away. The novelty of having a home was something James had learned not to take for granted after all the darkness and pain he’d seen in the galaxy.

It might have been a bit odd, choosing one of the most busy and chaotic planets in the galaxy as a home base for the jedi, an order of those who lived their lives striving for inner and outer peace. There wasn’t a kilometer of land on the entire surface that wasn’t part of the city that reached from pole to pole. Billions of lives bustling about in close quarters. One couldn’t even look to the sky for the stars without having a hundred ships fly through their view first. Meanwhile on simply had to walk in through the doors of the Temple to feel like you had walked through a black hole into a new dimension. The dichotomy between the two environments had always been a bit perplexing to James, wondering why they weren’t living in a more calm, defensible place. His Master would probably have something to say to him if he made such a suggestion.

 _Did you not pay an ounce of attention in class?_ _What good would Guardians of the light do tucked away in some secret part of the galaxy? We live in the hub of the Republic. If anyone needs guidance and a bit of unbiased logic, it’s those poor sods over at the Senate. Honestly, child…_

James could hear her grousing now and he let himself bask in the joy of being home again for a moment before slowly tapering it back to his inner calm. Or as calm as he’d ever managed. There was a reason he was only a jedi knight and not a master yet after all.

It suited him just fine though. He could never imagine himself having a padawan, content as he was to serve at the Guardian ranks of the order. His life was a series of missions that took advantage of his particular skills of combat and subterfuge. He taped down any semblance of pride he felt in the knowledge that he was in fact the best at what he did and that was probably why the High Council let him get away with his less than procedural tactics.

His ship shuddered around him as he entered atmo, the jarring feeling that left him feeling slightly uncomfortable and praying to the force that his ship didn’t split apart under him from the change in temperature and pressure. Q was not going to be happy with him.

It had been a long mission, almost half a solar cycle since he’d gone to help the K’leerans settle their long-term civil war and get the peace treaties signed. He knew the Council would be pleased though. Well, as pleased as they could be. James was still waiting to see if Master Tahl even knew how to smile.

Once the shuddering around him ceased, James risked turning on his radio, flinching as it sparked and crackled under his finger.

“This is Bond. Requesting landing dock,” he said even though he wasn’t sure it would go through. He stuck his now burnt finger into his mouth to ease the ache a bit. He’d get some bacta gel for it later. Q always kept the stuff around since he too had a habit of getting his hands caught in rebelling technology.

He only had to wait about two minutes before the radio crackled again dangerously and a distorted voice came through.

_“Landing dock 7 is open and ready for you, Jedi Knight Bond. Welcome back.”_

The radio clicked off, or more like fizzled off he supposed. It probably wouldn’t click on again.

Circling around the Temple, James pulled his stuttering ship up to the familiar dock. There were several around the Temple, including one of the roof for special arrivals, Senators and visiting royalty and the like, but this one everyone just happened to know James favored. They just didn’t know why, and that was just fine by the jedi knight. It’s proximity to Q’s most used lab was just one of the many perks that James planned to take advantage of. The rest he’d keep secret for himself.

The doors were indeed already open and waiting for him as he steered the ship into a less than smooth landing. He could already feel the dismay rolling off of the various mechanics waiting as they no doubt took in the wrecked look of his ship. James wouldn’t let himself feel any guilt though. Occupational hazards and all of being stuck on a planet dissolved in civil war for 6 months. Those experienced knew that the worst bloodshed and violence came right before the end of wars. Like a crescendo to a particularly dark ballad. Peace didn’t often come from gradual and mutual understanding and acceptance. No. It usually came from both sides being too tired and hurt to keep fighting.

And James was tired.

Jedi empathy was double edged at the best of times. Yes, it gave them a leg up in most situations, but it also meant that being surrounded by that much violence, sadness, anger, etc.…it was very draining even for a short period of time. James was glad to be called back early, even if the reason for it was deeply troubling.

Ignoring the ache in his bones, James climbed out of the cockpit and jumped down on to the ground, already soaking in the fresh feeling of the Temple, even in the dirty docking area.

“Well, if it isn’t our resident troublemaker. Welcome home, Bond.”

James could hear the sly smile in Eve’s voice before he even turned around to greet her.

“Wonderful to be back, Eve. You’re looking as radiant as ever,” he said, enjoying the eye roll that it produced from her since they both knew he was lying through his teeth, “How sweet of you to come welcome me home personally. Really, you didn’t have to.” He quickly flickered his eyes over her form, taking in all the small hints that showed how trying the last few days must have been for her and the rest of the Temple. Her normally glowing skin was slightly dull, but still smooth and lovely. The small patches of iridescent scales that appeared over parts of her body also seemed to lack their usual luster.

She snorted inelegantly, “I’m afraid I’m here on behalf of the High Council. They request that you meet them to give your report in three hours.”

“They’re a bit eager, aren’t they?”

“Perhaps, but there’s a lot riding on the end to the K’Leeran’s war. And…as I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors, they have a lot more pressing concerns at the moment that I’m sure they will want to get back to,” she said, hiding a hint of sadness that James could feel pressing around her heart.

James nodded somberly, “Yes, Master Ronson’s death has come at quite the shock. I was told I was being recalled along with several more Knights because of it.”

Eve nodded, her gills fluttering as she physically tried to shake off the bad feelings that most jedi felt when one of their own met an untimely death, “Just procedure until the investigation of the bombing is done. Never know if we’ll need to send you lot out for taking care of any larger attacks to come.”

“Of course.”

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t linger. Do you want me to escort you to your apartment? It’s on my way,” she offered, already half turned to leave.

James was already shaking his head, having other plans already put in place in his mind as soon as he had gotten the message that he was being called home, “Thank you, but no. I’ve got a few things to take care of before I clean up for the Council.”

Eve smirked knowingly and gracefully walked away.

“Say hi to Q for me,” she called just as she walked out the bay doors.

* * *

Landing dock 7 was located on one of the lower-middle floors of the Temple, along the same clustering of the science, medical and archive rooms. Normally it was used for ship alterations and upgrades, a place for the more mechanically inclined jedi to experiment. That was another of the reasons James preferred it. The room tingled with excitement and imagination. Not to mention all the fascinating engineering that was going into the ships themselves.

Slowly, taking in the familiar sights and smells around him, James started down the hall towards the labs. He let himself smile as he glanced down the bannister beside him, showing a glorious overhead view of the floors of the Temple below. He could see the great hall floor’s intricate swooping designs. Clusters of padawans and initiates shuffling off to their next lesson, their large cloaks making them look like piles of dark brown islands drifting along the blue floors. He knew the classrooms were all down there along with a healthy amount of meditation rooms, but he rarely ventured down further than he already was.

The lab floors and the floors above were where he spent most of his time while home. The practice gyms were a common haunt for him, doing more to center himself there than in any meditation room. The apartments for the jedi were also located on the higher floors, his own included. His favorite room, not to mention the favorite of his friends, was located on the top floor. Force, how he had missed that room.

Everything about the Temple was meant to exude calmness and peace, down to the very colors of the walls. Minimalist designs. Soothing colors. Sound absorbent materials in the walls. If one wasn’t careful, they may just fall asleep sitting in the lobby. James soaked it all in to his dry and weary bones like it was spring fresh water as he neared his destination.

The familiar doors of Q’s tinkering lab were open, but a quick glance and sweep with the force told him that Q was not in there. Before he let himself feel any disappointment though, he trotted down the hallway a bit further, coming to the doors of the Plasma lab.

He barely glanced at the dozens of safety warning signs outside the door before walking in, his mind already tingling happily when he felt a familiar presence within. He also had already felt the familiar humidity touching his skin.

He heard the sound of a droid rolling over, and he bent down to greet BR-E3 as it enthusiastically came up, happily twittering and beeping as it rolled around his feet.

BR-E3 was one of the favorite droids of the Temple, being one of the most helpful and friendly of the lot. It also happened to be Q’s personal droid that he had programmed and built himself. The two never strayed far from each other, like a loyal pet always at his side.

“Hello there, little berry,” he greeted the small blue droid, “It’s nice to see you too. Where is your master at?”

BR-E3 twittered even more enthusiastically before rolling off past a shelf.

“Q!” James called out.

A soft yelp came from off to the left that made James smile and drew him in like a magnet. He stepped around the tall shelf to see Q leaning over to pick of a few metal bits that had fallen to the floor, already glaring at James as he came forward.

James could practically feel the scolding that was to come envelop him like a hug as Q stood up, hands resting on his slim hips.

“Bond. You know damn well that this is a very dangerous lab. We have plasma crystals everywhere, lightsabers on the fritz, and almost anything could set them off. I could have dropped crystals just now and you would have come around the corner to a black and crispy Councilman. Try to be a bit more careful,” he groused, “Do you even pay attention to the signs out front? I swear they’re not just there for aesthetic.”

James looked at Q through his little lecture, smiling indulgently until he finished with a huff waiting for perhaps an apology. They both knew he wouldn’t get one.

James chuckled and stepped up to the table where his friend was working, “Hello, Q. I’ve missed you,” he said offering his most lecherous grin that he’d perfected while on a mission to one of the seedier planets in the galaxy.

Q’s face took on a slightly greenish tinge as his blood flushed and he sputtered at bit at the look, already mumbling a plethora of jedi sayings about this and that. James wasn’t really listening. Perhaps his Master was right about him not paying attention in class. Q was far more interesting and fun than some old Master droning on about the politics behind a ceremony of some old species that nobody had ever heard about.

Q’ren, or Q as he preferred to be called, was another half humanoid being like Eve. Although, while Eve’s heritage was aquatically based, giving her gills and lovely scales, Q’s was tropically based. His blood ran green with copper, different from the iron that ran through Bond’s own veins. It gave his skin a slightly blue-ish green shade to it when in certain lights. It was pretty as it was fascinating.

Not ever one to be able to fully curb his curiosity, Bond had once taken a mission to Q’s home planet simply so that he could see for himself what Q’s other half was like.

He may have regretted his curiosity several days in when he realized how bloody humid that planet was. No amount of personal jedi brush-it-off tricks worked against the wet feel that James felt while buried deep within the jungled planet. It was like walking through a hot bath, but not having to hold his breath. Perhaps it would have felt better if he wasn’t wearing his jedi robes, but he didn’t think the High Council would have approved of him walking around naked while on a mission. Still, he got to meet the natives. Tall, remarkably lean looking beings with limbs that appeared a touch too long and alarmingly colorfully dressed. They were as bright and vibrant as the jungle plants that surrounded them. Friendly though, and scarily intelligent.

Even being half human, Q for the most part looked more humanoid than not. Slightly longer limbs that he held with enviable grace. Lean and narrow body and an uncommonly light green eye color. Besides the green-ish blood that would appear when he cut himself tinkering, there wasn’t a whole lot of obvious things that gave away his heritage. Some quirks here and there, but didn't they all come together to make quite the pretty package. A package that James appreciated enormously in his spare moments at home, and perhaps in his mind while he was away.

The quirks for the most part were endearing more than anything. Like how he dressed. Jedi robes were somewhat standard in their basic designs and colors. Many earthy neutral tones and heavy layered robes. It never bothered James much that their color palates seemed somewhat limited, but Q however had seemed unable to resist adding at least one item with color. Something James assumed to be related to an inherited camouflaging instinct, since Q was probably only a few days old when the jedi came and took him from his planet. Ironically enough, his need for color made him stand out even more in the drab Temple. And he always chose the more light and airy fabrics, so as not to irritate his also inherited sensitive skin. 

Jedi were not limited in the vast amount of species that comprised its order, so Q was hardly the only one to take liberties with the standard jedi robes. Alec, being of a reptilian species, also needed his own special robes that had a strong and smooth fabric that could avoid getting caught and torn on the spikes that dotted around his spine and arms. 

Today’s ensemble was a more tightly fit set of navy-blue sleeveless tunic and trousers, fitted with the standard jedi utilities belt, his own impressive and sleek ever-present lightsaber hanging from the loop. Q always carried it, despite James never have actually see him so much as power it up. There was probably also a light fabric cloak somewhere draped haphazardly over a chair in the lab, but James didn’t bother trying to locate it.

Q had gone back to whatever he was doing with those small metal bits, still muttering under his breath before pausing and flicking his gaze over to James who was still standing a bit too close, “Did you actually need something, Bond, or are you just here to see if you can cause an explosion?”

“I think the Order has seen enough explosions this week, wouldn’t you say?”

Q’s soft eyes turned somber as he nodded, “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Master Ronson’s death is still weighing quite heavily on us. It will not be a pleasure to replace him on the High Council. I rather liked his sardonic wit. Sometimes the Council room needs a bit of lightening.”

James couldn’t help but agree. The High Council usually was made up of the most experienced and wise of their Order, which usually meant that there was less than half a funny bone made up between the 12 of them. The last decade or so though the Council was starting to wizen up to the weaknesses that the Order held, particularly with the growing threat of technological advances that were popping up around the galaxy. They had begun to groom the initiates for more than just combat and politics. Engineering, science, and medicine were all added in. Those initiates and padawans with promise in those areas were trained extensively in the trades, hoping to eventually putt the Order back up where they should be.

It was slow progress but having the remarkable genius in one small initiate named Q had given the Council hope. Q had progressed exceptionally fast through his training years, earning him a very well-deserved Council position at a very young age. Already the Order was making steady progress with their technological weaknesses.

Ronson was part of that progress forward, being head of security for the Temple he had been one of Q’s biggest advocates for changes.

“Do they know who will replace Ronson?” James asked, fiddling with some spare metal shavings on the table.

Q shrugged, “Don’t know yet. We’ve only just had the funeral last night. Seemed a bit rude to discuss before that,” he said as he placed the now completed gasket into a discarded lightsaber laying to the left of his arm that James recognized immediately. He stepped back from the table and James and powered it up, the green plasma beam shooting out with its normal hiss and hum. It looked stable and fully powered up.

BR-E3 made a shrill ‘oooo’ noise as it rolled around in a happy circle.

“Finished with that one, then?”

Q nodded again as he powered it down, “Yes. Alec should be happy with the fix. It had been a little slow on power up. Turns out he just needed a new coupling.”

“Excellent,” James said as he stood up and unhooked his own lightsaber and handed it to the Councilman, “Now you have time to fix mine.”

Q’s shoulders sagged at the sight of James’ lightsaber, seeing the flash burn marks all along the sides and several dents at the lower handle, “Again? I swear, it’s like you break it on purpose sometimes just to bug me. What if you actually need it for something? You’ve got to start taking more care of your equipment. Dare I ask the condition of your ship?”

At James’ meek smile Q’s shoulders dropped another inch in defeat.

“Forget I asked. I’m sure the techs out there will give me an earful when I go back to my lab,” he said, stepping back again to power up James’ lightsaber.

The white-blue blade emerged, humming pleasantly as Q waved it expertly back and forth, testing its stability. Normally jedi were a little hesitant to hand over the very personal weapons, but James had always felt fine handing his own off to Q. Most of the jedi did when their tools of the trade needed repairs, although they were trained to fix most minor issues themselves. Even Alec, who was one of the more guarded jedi of the Order. Sometimes it was just a comfort to know that their only true possession was in the best hands it could be.

“Everything seems to be working just fine, just cosmetic work needs to be done. I can probably have this back to you tonight if you like,” Q offered, “We have your report in a few hours, but afterwards Eve and I plan to go to the Garden for a swim. She hasn’t been able to go all week and her scales are drying out. I offered to keep her company. I’m sure she’d be happy to have you come as well.”

“Perhaps if Master M doesn’t drag me off by my ear first to verbally castrate me for something or other first,” James joked, but he already knew that nothing would stop him from being there, not even his old Master.

Q was smiling as he shook his head, already disassembling the outer casing of the lightsaber to start the cleaning process, “She’ll be cross with you again for the condition of the ship alone. That used to be hers, you know.”

James did know, and he winced as he mentally pictured the verbal whipping he’d probably get later.

“Do you need bacta for that?” Q said suddenly, pulling James from his mental flagellation.

James glanced at the burn on his finger, already with some puss and blisters forming at the tip. He grimaced and nodded, “The ship didn’t take too kindly to it’s condition either. Started to fight back towards the end,” he said as Q gently pulled James’ hand towards him, cradling it against his chest as he other hand dug around in his bag for the tube of bacta he always kept on hand.

“Well, good for the ship. Nice to know it has more defenses to it than just blaster cannons on the sides,” Q muttered, half his attention on the wound as he carefully dabbed the gel on it.

Silence lingered between the two of them for a bit as Q worked. The only sound will of BR-E3’s tittering around them as it explored the various nooks and crannies of the lab despite having been in there probably hundreds of times. It was comfortable and familiar. The force humming contentedly between them, soothing all the things that bacta couldn’t heal in James.

This close Bond could feel the warmth coming off of Q. It was lovely if not a bit stifling with the combat robes he was still wearing. One of Q’s other quirks, not James’ favorite though, was his need for constant humidity around him to keep his sensitive skin from drying out. Any room he entered the environmental controls would be triggered to raise the moisture levels. Eve had the same effect.

Alas, James would take the humidity if it meant keeping his friendship with the two. For all the rules that the jedi had about forming attachments and all, James was never about to give up the relationships he’d formed with his limited group of friends. They made the Temple feel more like home than anything.

Q finished off his work with a small white bandage wrapped around his finger before turning back to James’ lightsaber.

“What, no kiss to make it better?”

Q huffed, not even glancing back up at James, “Best get going, Bond. You still have to clean up before your report. You smell like burnt bantha meat.”

James wrinkled his nose, wondering if that was true but not wanting to give Q the satisfaction of checking in front of him. He did want a shower badly, one that didn’t involve him wondering if he would have to pull out his lightsaber for a fight naked. Still, he felt reluctance to leave, and not just because said lightsaber was being left behind.

Q must have sensed his hesitation because he looked up, eyes sympathetic and warm, “Go on. I’ll see you up there in a few hours. I’ll even send BR-E3 to fetch you so you’re not late for once. And don’t forget about the Garden.”

With one last nod, James squeezed Q’s shoulder once and walked out of the lab, already looking forward to what was to come after his meeting with the Council.


	2. Serenity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond gives his mission report and then goes to find his friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!  
> Welcome back, hopefully you enjoy where I'm going with this. I added some notes on jedi culture below for those who aren't familiar with non-movie stuff.
> 
> -Jedi Life: They are found as infants and brought to the Temple to be raised away from negative emotions. Those of nursery age are called Younglings. Those who begin their formal jedi training between ages 5-13 are called Initiates. Initiates train to pass their first trials where if they pass they can be chosen by a Master for the rest of their training. Those who do not pass their first trials or are not chosen by a Master go on to be Temple support, Farmers, or security. Once chosen padawans complete their final trials, they are knighted. Once a knight has reached a certain point of experience, wisdom, and are basically educated enough to take on padawans, they become a Master (even if they don't get a padawan)
> 
> -Jedi and Love: Jedi are supposed to be compassionate beings. Love is a tricky thing in that they are not allowed to be possessive, but they can form non-romantic bonds. George Lucas has confirmed that jedi can and do have sex regularly. Lust is not forbidden as long as it is controlled and does not lead to possessive thoughts. Q and Bond are kinda in the middle ground of this.
> 
> -Jedi and Fun: At least from the book media I've encountered, jedi do in fact have fun, friends, and do relax from time to time. And the modes of entertainment that are in this chapter do in fact exist in a Star Wars book series. Alien friends and all.

As soon as he passed the threshold of his apartment, Bond couldn’t help but smile ruefully at his tragically sparse rooms. While jedi were encouraged not to keep things, not supposed to be possessive and all, James may have taken that a bit too far when it came to his own living space. Others had things ranging from gifts, to plants and hobbies, books and art. Things to appreciate, not things to covet.

His own lack of material things wasn’t by some self-sacrificing choice on his part, it more stemmed from him just not having enough time since moving out of his shared master-padawan suite to acquire anything much. There was no honeymoon phase after passing the trials to become a Knight, he was shipped out within the week and had been only back for several day at a time for years now.

He didn’t want for anything at least. The masters would probably be pleased to hear that. Made him seem more like a jedi than not, given his standard unconventional jedi ways.

Despite being rather barren, his apartment still felt as much like home as anything else did. The center room holding a large circular living room with a small kitchen and dining area around the edges. A large window taking up the entire wall and giving him a view of the city below. The door to the right led to his bedroom that held nothing more than his bed and a side table. The room off that, the private washroom.

Simple. Economical. Completely jedi council approved.

His own had nothing special about it environmentally, but if he were perhaps a different species, his room may have been tailored to meet any specific needs of his. Like the excessive lamp lighting in Alec’s rooms, or the humidifiers in Q’s and Eve’s rooms.

James sauntered into his bedroom, placing his bag on the bed and opening it to yank out his spare clothing, using the force to float it over to the laundry shoot while he emptied out the rest of the contents. He carefully pulled out a couple small boxes, placing them gently on the bed making a mental reminder to bring them with him later that night. One of them tough, he put to the side.

A gift for his master. A running tradition he kept that he knew for a fact drove Master M up the wall. Depending on the location and severity of his missions, he always kept an eye out for outrageously tacky items and figurines to bring back to the Temple to proudly present to his old Master, reveling in the sight of her trying to keep her expression as neutral as was becoming of the Head High Councilwoman.

Despite the lecture she always gave him afterwards, James was certain she enjoyed it to some extent. She even kept some of the horrid baubles, he’d seen them in her quarters when he visited for a drink or just to bother her. He was especially proud of the one he’d brought her this time. He’d have to wait for another day to give it to her though. He had plans for after he gave his report.

Tossing his bag unceremoniously into the closet, he started to strip off the robes it felt like he’d worn forever. He wrinkled his nose as he caught a whiff of the smell Q had informed him of. He’d have to bathe then. M would punish him with mandatory meditation if he appeared before the High Council smelling like he did.

At least it wasn’t really a hardship. He’d missed the water pressure here anyway.

* * *

Both suns in the sky had just barely set behind the cityscape, leaving the it a dark mix of purple and navy. It made the council room seem somewhat sedate, the lights dimmed a bit to keep the feeling of calm and serenity in the room, not bright to create too much of contrast to the world around them.

It did make everything seem a bit more somber too though, the empty chair two seats down from Q a stark reminder of why James was even here this soon. The High Council members may not have worn their concern on their faces, but it hung heavy in the room.

Joining the Force was something that came to all beings, even jedi. It didn’t mean that the people gone wouldn’t be missed. It also didn’t mean that their abrupt passing didn’t stir up chaos in its wake.

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_There is no death…there is the Force._

A simple creed that all younglings were taught in the Temple nursery and that all jedi strived to live for every day. Jedi weren’t cold beings; they were controlled beings. They could feel and emote but could process and suppress when needed. After all, compassion was an emotion. It was the only emotion that jedi could smother themselves in without ever having to hold back.

Standing before the Council now, James did feel the loss, but his carefully disciplined emotions were kept wrangled in like docile blurrgs.

The only thing in the room that felt as light as always was the small presence of BR-E3, who had faithfully come and gathered James from his apartment earlier just as Q had promised. The small droid was doing its best to make itself scarce in the large room, hiding behind the folds of the cloak that Q had donned for the meeting, like a small child ducking behind its mother’s legs. James winked at it every time it peeked it’s head out to survey the room.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, Knight Bond. I know we usually allow for more time to settle and reflect before delivering a report, but given recent events, we believed it prudent to get a brief summary of your time with the K’leerans before we turned our focus towards more troublesome concerns,” Master Mallory said, starting off the meeting as Second in the High Council.

James nodded once sharply, “Of course, Masters,” he said to the room at large, his eyes drifting over the contents. There were twelve members of the High Council, most of which James didn’t concern himself with much. Their input and advice was welcome, but he shared no special bonds with them, “I’ve spent the last half solar cycle on the K’leerans’ planet acting as mediator for the government there that has been battling a civil war for over a decade. The civil war being fought over their planet joining the Republic. Their society is heavily influenced by tradition, and the breaking of certain tradition to join the Republic became a sore issue for a large faction of their people, starting the war. In the last lunar cycle, a peace treaty was reached and the K’leerans plan to officially join the Republic as soon as their embassy is completed here on Curoscant,” James said.

It was a very brief summary, but that was how James normally did it. He’d save the details for the physical written report whenever he got around to it. The Masters knew this and didn’t react to his remarkably concise words.

Head Councilwoman, his Master M, drew in a deep breath, “Do you feel that peace will be maintained on their planet now that jedi influence has left,” she asked.

“The K’leerans, while very set in old traditions, are a very intelligent species. Part of the peace agreements was a very lengthy explanation of how their people will benefit from the government mergers, but also how the Republic and religion will be completely separate social bodies. As long as both ends hold up their part of the treaty, and the government has no influence on their base traditions, peace should remain.”

M nodded, pleased.

“Good work, Knight Bond. You’ll be pleased to know that the K’leeran embassy is almost completed. Only a week or so left on construction before the opening ceremony. The High Council has been invited to attend along with a large number of Senators. Normally we do not attend political functions such as this, but given the K’leerans sensitive ceremonial needs, it looks like we must attend or we’ll cause unrest. Perhaps even revocation of their planet from the Senate,” Master Mallory said, his voice carrying over the room despite how softly he spoke.

James couldn’t help but agree. In the time he had spent on the planet, he knew exactly how skittish they were when it came to ceremonies not going absolutely to plan. Bad omens and tainted grounds abound. The peace talks themselves had been delated several times simply due to small little hiccups that sent both factions into a tizzy. The opening ceremony for something as big as this would have to be perfect.

“I would recommend the entire Council’s attendance if possible. The greater the turnout, the greater the blessing according to their ways,” James said, the Master’s nodding around him.

“We mustn’t let anything happen at the ceremony that may send their people back into a renewed civil war, not so soon after they got out of one lasting so long. We must also not forget the benefits of them joining the Republic as well. They have biological science that could save millions of lives a solar cycle. Many souls rely on their admittance,” Q’s soft voice drifted over them all, more calming than the dimmed lighting in James’ opinion. He always appreciated having Q there in the room, the young man bringing a sense of serenity that even hours of meditation couldn’t bring to James. While he may have been the youngest in the room by far, he carried the wisdom on par with each and every one of the Masters there.

Master M nodded again, “Then we are all in agreement that your mission, while completed, still requires gentle handling of the people until the embassy is open and they have officially joined the Senate. Now, thank you Knight Bond for your expeditious report. Please take some time to recover and re-center yourself for the time being.”

She ended it as a dismissal, but James didn’t turn to leave just yet, questions dancing on his tongue.

It was Master Tanner that noticed first, “Is there something you wished to speak of, Knight Bond?”

James only hesitated a moment before replying, “I just was curious if anything was known about Master Ronson? I’m prepared to be sent out in any fashion to assist in the investigation,” he offered.

Several of the Masters in the room smiled while others rolled their eyes. He could see that Q and his Master were among the latter category.

“We will inform you if such a thing is needed. For now, go get some rest. All of us need it after a less than peaceful week. The Council will resume talks about the investigation tomorrow morning,” Master M stated, already standing up, the signal for the rest of the Master’s to do the same as she left the room.

The rest shuffled slowly out behind her, James among them, most headed off to meditation rooms he was sure. Not Q though, the youngest Master brushed his hand against the sleeve of James’ robe as he started down the opposite hallway, his soft green eyes questioning.

“I’ll follow down soon, I promise,” he said gently, giving Q’s inquiring fingers a small squeeze before letting go. The young Master nodded, a little quirk of a smile on his face as he walked off to meet Eve. BR-E3 rolled off behind him, chittering away happily.

The hallway outside the Council chambers was empty now, save for himself and his Master.

“You just got back here after several lunar cycles and you already want to leave? Excuse me if I wasn’t aware that you are in fact a droid and not human,” she said, her eyes a cold steel as she took in his form.

Even after all these years as a Knight, she still was able to make him feel like the scrawny padawan he once was.

“Apologies, Master. Here I thought my existence was as servant to the Force,” he teased back.

“That may be, but you don’t have to run yourself ragged to prove it. A well-rested mind and body is far more effective in the field than one still frayed from the last fight. Have you never heard of a recovery period?”

“I wasn’t aware I had been injured this time.”

She huffed, “You know damn well that we need to be completely at peace with ourselves as well as the universe to be at our best. I remember quite clearly how you shirk your meditation while on missions. You just spent a long time in the middle of a war, James. If I looked right now in to your mind, I know the peace I’d find there would be a tenuous as the peace held by the K’leerans. Take some time.”

James tried to reel in the slight annoyance he was beginning to feel, “I don’t need time. I’ve felt completely at peace since coming through the bay doors.”

“Then why are you already grinding your teeth?,” she stated firmly, staring him down like he was still shorter than her rather than almost twice her height he was now. Her face softened a bit, “While we always appreciate your…enthusiasm, James, what good is a port to a ship if it never drops anchor?” Master M said wryly, with a fondness that only James could pick up.

His annoyance forgotten for a moment, James raised his eyebrows at her words, “I’m not sure if you’re telling me to take a nap or that I need to go find someone’s bed to warm?”

She scoffed, “Interpret it however you will, James. I don’t want to know how your mind works any more than I already do. Please, take your moments of peace seriously. If there are dark times to come, then we will all need those small remembered moments of light to look back upon to find out way,” she said, her expression softening as much as it was capable. It was an odd look for her, one that James, despite knowing her for so many years, was unfamiliar to him.

“Master?” James asked, sensing something simmering below the surface of her normally steeled aura.

“You were and always will be my padawan, James. In a way I will always feel responsible for how you turn out. I do not want to see you go down a path you can’t return from, be it death or something worse.”

“I do hope you’re not having regrets about choosing me as your student. Bit late and all that,” James said, half hoping his teasing would pull her back from whatever dark place she seemed to have let her mind lurk.

She sighed heavily, “Regret is not something those in our profession are granted. One does not linger in the past when they are needed in the present.”

“Yet we still look to our pasts to learn from our mistakes,” James replied.

She stared at him a moment longer, her blue eyes seeming to read everything down to James’ very soul, “Yes, I suppose we do. Why else do I bother trying to get you to change your ways,” she said.

James opened his mouth to inquire her meaning, but she was already turning away from him and walking down the hall much faster than anyone of her height and age should be capable of.

“You should run along now. I believe Master Q is waiting for you to join him in the Garden.”

James smiled fondly at his Master before offering a small bow, “Of course, Master.”

* * *

After departing from his Master, James made one quick stop by his apartment before making his way up to the top floor of the Temple, the now starry skied cityscape flashing before him as he shot up the glass lift. Anticipation brewed in his stomach, a fizzy mix of excitement, contentment, and happiness as he drew closer to the top.

He’d have to ask Q to check on the door opening mechanisms, because they seemed to open far too slowly for his tasted once he reached the top.

The enchanting view of the Garden finally was before him after all these lunar cycles. Covering the entire dome of the Temple, the Garden was the most vast of any other botanical wonder anywhere else on the planet. Trees and plants, flowers and vines in every color covered every inch of the place, with only small lines of rocks marking pathways in the grass.

Just breathing in the air here was cleansing and calming. He never understood the others who would choose stuffy meditation rooms over the Garden for any “centering” endeavors. The very air thrummed with life and the Force, making it a perfect sanctuary for those in his Order.

Especially those who were more…naturally inclined.

His Master wanted him to find serenity, well this was as close as he’d ever found.

It was late in the night, and the Garden usually went dark with the suns disappearing over the horizon like the rest of the planet, but tonight it glowed softly still thanks to Q being able to fiddle about with the light cycle timer. Also perhaps fiddling about with the lifts to allow only some choice people here after certain hours.

Wouldn’t do for any initiate to come up here and see their superiors playing about in the Garden. The thought made him smirk as he followed the shallow stream towards where he heard splashing and voices in the distance.

It took a few minutes of passing through a lovely trove of tall trees before he came upon the large pool of water hidden in a corner of the Garden, it being fed by a small waterfall in the wall. The rock façade did a good job making the walls just look like the sides of a cliff, almost tricking one in to believing they were on some lush planet, and not at the top of a large building.

The serene pond suddenly splashed before him as a nude form broke through the water gracefully.

“Ah, hello James. We were worried you wouldn’t make it,” Eve said, brushing her wet hair back from her eyes with partially webbed fingers. She treaded water as she watched the Knight move across the grass, smirking as if she knew something the whole universe didn’t. Her scales were finally getting back to their normal healthy pearly iridescence, the water doing her wonders after an undoubtedly rough week.

The ‘we’ was herself and Q, the lithe Master sitting at the edge of the pond, his feet and long legs bare as he dangled them in the water. He seemed very focused on the ripples his toes were making and not at all at what Eve was saying.

“I never miss any of our swims if I’m at the Temple,” James reminded her, kicking off his boots and pulling off his cloak and tunic before taking a seat next to Q, shirtless. The young Master had yet to undress himself, but James would make sure that changed. It always took a little bit on cajoling to get Q to join them in the pond.

Eve rolled her eyes before swimming over to them, leaning her arms on to a nearby rock as she idly kicked her feet in the water behind her, “Perhaps not, but you are almost always late.”

“Not as late as Alec. He isn’t even here yet,” he pointed out, splashing some water her way.

“And he’ll be in just as much trouble since he was the one supposed to bring the food and drinks this time,” she grumbled, swimming always giving her quite the appetite.

James chuckled, laying back in the grass with his arms tucked up behind his head. From there his eyes grazed up the form of the man beside him, taking in the lean frame and smooth pale skin of his arms where they peaked out from his sleeveless tunic. Gently, he knocked his knee in into Q’s leg to get his attention.

“You seem lost in thought, still reflecting on the meeting?” James asked, finally able to drag Q’s eyes to meet his own.

Q shrugged, “A bit. I was told that Master Ronson’s ship…well, the remains of it I suppose, are going to arrive sometime tonight. I’m trying to prepare myself for looking at the remains. I don’t anticipate it being a pleasant experience.”

James grimaced internally, agreeing with Q’s assessment. Q was brilliant enough to be able to look at the wreckage and know exactly what had occurred in terrifying detail. Jedi were trained to distance themselves from the horrors of the universe, but distancing didn’t always work how’d they’d like. Especially when said horrors involved one of their own.

“Pull yourself back to the present, Q. No need to think on something that hasn’t even occurred yet,” James said.

“That sounds alarmingly like something your Master would say,” Q shot back, but there was a small smile where before there was a frown.

“It really does. Bit spooky, please avoid doing such again ever again,” Eve called from the far end of the pond.

James rolled his eyes, bumping Q again with his knee, “Tell me about your latest projects? Any updates on Berry? Any plans for my ship?”

“First, it’s your master’s ship and what’s the point of upgrading if you break everything. And second, its name isn’t Berry, it’s BR-E3. You’re probably confusing his software by calling him that,” Q scolded, but James was pleased to see that he was acting more himself now.

“It’s a robust little thing, as if anything you made from scratch could fritz out at such a small thing. And where is little Berry?”

“BR-E3, and it’s back in my lab downloading its latest software update. Besides, you all splashing around with water always makes it nervous.”

“You mean all of us splashing around. You know by the end of the night you’ll be joining us for a swim. You always do,” Eve teased.

“Only because you all are a bunch of bullies who won’t take no for an answer. Honestly, the way you treat your superiors…”

Eve batted water over at Q, the splash suspiciously moving farther than normal physics should allow, making the Councilman squawk loudly and James laugh despite being caught in the spray.

“Am I so late that you’ve all begun soaking the young master into submission game?”

“Alec! By the Force, it’s about time you got here, I’m starving,” Eve said, already swimming up to the shore. Alec was already dumping the basket before them, handing out the various food choices of each of them. For Alec and James, it was dried meat and fermented juices. For Eve, dried fish and seaweeds of an intriguing blue color. And for Q, wonderfully colorful and exotic looking fruits.

The group sat together in the grass, enjoying a shared comfortable silence between them as they ate. Talking and gossip would come after. For now, it was enough to just soak in the feeling of having the four of them together again after such an extended period. It wasn’t often that Alec and James were in the Temple at the same time, far too many missions split between the two of them. Alec must have been called back as well, for the same reason as James. It wasn’t a pleasant reason to return, but James would not complain about the opportunity it allowed them to be together.

He and Alec had been friends from the early days as younglings in the jedi nursery floors. Hellions they were, or at least as troublesome as young jedi could be. They fed off of each other’s energy as they became initiates together, spending all their time in each other’s back pockets for years until eventually they passed their trials and being chosen by different Masters. As they grew, their friendship did not diminish, even as they became Knights and had to be away from the Temple and each other for long periods.

The duo had not known Q and Eve for nearly as long, but James appreciated each of them just as much.

He’d met Eve first when they shared a mission together during her first outing as a Knight. While the mission had not ended perfectly, resulting in her choosing to become an on planet Ambassador jedi instead, James had fostered a friendship with her, admiring her own style of rebellious jedi ways.

He had become closer to her after he had begun his own relationship with Q, the two of them being as tick as thieves as he and Alec were. The two younger jedi had also met while as younglings, but Q had been moved up several years in his lessons so that he was the smallest in Eve’s age group, and of course felt a bit isolated because of it. She had taken him under her wing after they had bonded over their environmental preferences. Q, clever little thing that he was, had shown her the pond hidden in the back of the Garden, a place that they had frequented together ever since when Eve needed to swim.

Eventually, the two of them shared it with James and Alec as well. A small little haven for them to let go the burdens of being a jedi for just a few hours at a time. It only took a few short meetings of the four of them there before unbreakable bonds had formed.

Meeting Q had been special, or at least it felt special to James. Q always seemed to take on an air of annoyance when the memory was brought up. Of course, having lived in the Temple he had hears about the little genius initiate while he was training for his final Knight trials, but didn’t meet him until much later they after an unfortunate accident with a newly renovated sand speeder. James’ swore his ears had burned for days after the lecture that he got from the pubescent jedi about proper vehicle handling, but after many more similar incidents over the next few years, the lectures had gradually become engaging clever conversations of wit and fascination.

Of course, that too grew into something else once Q had aged up some more.

They all finished their meal, slowly breaking the silence to start talking about what they had all missed of each other in the last few months. Eve dropped her almost ever-present sereneness and started to become bubbly and tactile, not caring in the slightest that she remained the only one fully naked at the time. Alec let his shoulders relax, his reptilian scaled face taking on softer colors and dropping off the darker shades he’d projected during his last stealth mission. Q dropped his stoicism enough for some of this true age to shine through as he playfully teased back at his friends, a real smile on his face making him look years younger. Even James let himself forget all that he’d seen recently in favor of just basking in normalcy.

It wasn’t long after they started to really relax that Eve slipped gracefully back into the water, taking advantage of as much time as possible indulging the other half of her species. Alec was quick to follow, shucking off his clothes like a lizard shedding its skin.

Knowing each other for as long as they all had, nudity was normal to their small group. The jedi were in no way prudes about the natural form to start with, but their little group it was hardly worth a mention anymore. Besides, imagine the chaffing that would occur if they had kept their trousers on and then had to walk back to their rooms after.

James and Q still sat on the grass, watching their friends splash about for a bit. It was a nice change to see Q look so relaxed outside the oppressive feel of the council chambers. There was a lot of responsibility laying on such young shoulders. It truly was a wonder that he wore it so well.

“I suppose we’ll have to go in next. Before they start chucking algae clumps at us again,” Q said with a sigh.

James chuckled, “Probably. But first, I’ve got something for you,” he said, pulling the small boxes from his discarded robe pocket.

Q tried to keep his face indifferent, but his eyes still lit up upon seeing the box placed in his lap. This wasn’t anything new to them, James almost always brought back something for his friends while on more hospitable planets. Still, every time Q would act like he was pleasantly surprised. It did warm things to James’ belly.

“Open it,” he prodded.

Q grinned and he lifted the lid, exposing several neatly lined confectionaries inside, “Oh! These look lovely. Thank you.”

“Well, you’re always the easiest to shop for. Just find whatever sweets the planet has to offer, or an old dusty tome and done. It’s Eve who gets picky. And Alec just wants a new knife every time.”

Q raised an elegant brow, “And did you find suitable things for them?”

James smirked, “Glass flower for Eve and surprise, a K’leeran hunting knife for Alec.”

“Perfect,” Q grinned, his eyes shyly meeting James’ for a moment.

“Are you two done flirting, or are we going to have to drag you in by your lightsabers? We’ve still got a splash fight to settle after last time,” Alec called loudly, breaking the two from their moment.

The two men relented and stood up to finish removing their clothes. James unabashedly eyeing up the lithe and lovely form of the man next to him, making him blush green down to his defined collar bone. Q, always more subtle and controlled of the two, briefly glanced over at James before he walked over to the waters edge.

It was moments like this, watching the young Master walk naked through the flora of the Garden and tenderly step into the water that James was reminded of his friend’s non-human half. Q looked literally otherworldly as he moved with untold poise in those long limbs, his skin almost glowing with the soft golden lights above them.

James couldn’t help but follow after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment/kudo if you can :D  
> Also, if you have any questions on jedi life and the like, feel free to ask! A lot of this stuff I have to research, so it is 100% okay to have no clue what I'm talking about.  
> I'm trying to update this at least once every two weeks. Maybe more if I find the time.


	3. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,  
> Thanks to all for the kudos, they help me keep going on this! Let me know your thoughts in the comments :) I've been having thoughts of making this a series, but we'll see if enough people want that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sexual content in this chapter

His room was dark, save for the gentle glow of passing ships outside his window. The lights never bothered him, seeing as he grew up with it for the vast majority of his life. It had even become more of a comfort than anything. An assurance of where he was. It was, after all, easy to lose one’s way in the darkness.

No jedi feared the dark. They did, however, fear the darkness.

Absence of light around them physically was no bother if one could always find the force to guide them, soothe them, surround them. Dark was merely a word to describe something. Darkness though had special meaning to jedi. If one was falling into darkness, it meant betrayal of what the force was meant for, loss, sadness, and so much pain. All those things could be so overwhelming for anyone, but for empathy ridden beings like the jedi…it was consuming. It could eat away at you’re their very being, twisting and shaping them into something unrecognizable.

The Dark Side, as the Initiates often whispered like a myth in the hallways when they thought the older jedi weren’t listening. It was no myth though, something they all learned quite quickly upon going on their first missions. James had learned of darkness far earlier than most jedi though. He’d almost been turned away because of it.

Jedi didn’t collect infants to be jedi because training had to begin that early. They were taken so early because the Order was uncertain if jedi could be exposed to darkness early on without a negative effect. James had gone 2 years without being found by the Order, mostly due to his family travelling too much for anyone to pinpoint them at any time. But when his parents had been killed, James was finally found after levitating an entire room of objects after being told his mummy and daddy weren’t coming back.

Master M, or Knight M as she was at the time, had made a decision then upon seeing the boy in front of her. He had dried his tears by then and had looked her in the eyes as she assessed his soul. James never knew what she saw, or why she chose to ignore jedi code and brought him back to the Temple for training, but he was forever grateful. He owed her his life. Orphans didn’t survive long on their own in this galaxy.

He worked his hardest to be the perfect soldier for her, but he always knew that he was tainted compared to his fellow jedi. Just that small bit of trauma at the start of his life forever tainting him somehow. Every time he felt himself beginning to think dark thoughts, or feel dirty, he thought of M. Thought of what she may have seen in him to give him a chance, that something in him must have been worthy. That he wasn’t already lost in the darkness. Sometimes he worried that she was all that kept him from getting lost. He did not fear darkness. But he did fear losing the light.

When the Temple rang heavy with loss like this, it was hard for James to shake off the foreboding shroud that always seemed to follow behind him. He was just as empathetic as the next jedi, but his familiarity with loss perhaps made him slightly more sensitive to it.

He was used to the sensation, but somehow this time it seemed all the more foreboding. Like something was different this time. Something that would threaten the light he held to so dearly. He was no seer jedi though, so what did he know?

So here he found himself, several hours after parting ways with the others, still awake in his bed staring at his empty room.

It wasn’t horrifically late, just past midnight, but after his long journey home he’d hoped at least to fall asleep easily. He should have known better. Perhaps if he’d had more time to enjoy the water. More time to joke around with Alec. Maybe gossip some more with Eve. Talk more with Q…

They’d had to cut their evening short though when Q received an urgent message informing him that Master Ronsons’ ship had arrived and was ready for inspection. Sure, they could have continued to swim after Q glided off, but the mood had turned sour after reality infected their little haven.

James took a moment to entertain the idea of attempting meditation, but quickly dashed it away as useless. Meditation had never worked for him like it did the others. Just another reason he was different than the rest of them. He found more peace in company than he ever did in solitude, despite his somewhat prickly manner. He just found that he preferred _good_ company perhaps.

He always found good company with his friends. Especially Q. He also had a prickly manner that complimented his own, and sometimes it made James feel like maybe he wasn’t the only different one. And if James was feeling this affected by Ronson’s death, he felt deeply bothered by how Q must be feeling as well. He was the one who had to look over the evidence after all.

As he thought about the fluffy haired Master, James began to feel a tug at his heart that had him rising from his bed, sheets pooling around his waist. The gentle tug in his chest slowly turned in to a pull, getting him to swing his legs out of bed and start pulling on his clothes that he had dumped carelessly on the floor before. He wasn’t sure if it was the force, or just himself that urged him to walk out of his apartment and down to the mid-levels of the Temple, but he didn’t even hesitate for a single step to stop and think about it. The Force always guided him where he needed to go.

* * *

The landing bays were usually loud and chaotic during the day. Motors, welding, gears and all sorts of mechanical cacophony filling up every corner with more noise. Everywhere were Temple mechanics buzzing away at ships, keeping them in top shape for the jedi’s use. Bits and bobs littered the tables around the room while droids wheeled around fixing engines or loading fuel. It was so disjointed from how the rest of the Temple functioned that it sometimes was a shock to many of the younger jedi living here.

No one came here to find peace on a regular basis. Unless they were Q of course.

Tonight though, the bay was silent. Mechanics had long gone home, and droids were tucked away in their charging ports. It seemed like it should be as peaceful as it could ever be, but it didn’t feel that way at all. Not with the large charred mess of metal that stood ominously in the middle of the room, Q sitting on the floor quietly by the ship’s underbelly.

James could see a mess of burnt wires tangled above Q’s head from where he’d removed a panel…or from where a panel had been blown off. They hung above him looking far too viperous than any simple wiring should and James wasn’t sure why. BR-E3 sat next to him, still for once when usually it was constantly moving about, a very curious little thing. That alone was enough to make James tense up.

From what he could see, what remained of the ship appeared to be mostly just the shell of it, most of the interior that he could see through the windows was reduced to mere ashes. The outer parts, where the main wiring and engines resided, looked to be nothing more than blackened bits and torn metal to him.

James slowly made his way into the bay, walking over to the young man who appeared to be lost in thought. He could make out a metal box sitting in Q’s lap as he approached, his long fingers clenched around the edges tightly.

Q sat like he was meditating, but the tenseness in his shoulders told James that this was not the case.

“Q? Are you alright?”

He saw Q’s shoulder rise and fall slowly with a soul deep sigh, “I’m fine, James. Just reviewing some data for the council meeting tomorrow.” Next to him BR-E3 made a sad sounding whistle, betraying his master’s words.

James couldn’t see his face as he spoke, and it bothered him enough that he approached the shattered ship despite the foreboding feeling it gave off. He wrinkled his nose in distaste as he sat down in front of Q on the hard floor, wondering how long Q had been sitting here alone. The ship wreaked of pain and death made all the worse because it had been of someone they knew and liked.

He took in Q visually as he sat, noting the dark circles forming under his eyes, and the downturn of the corner of his lips. Apparently, Q was deeply affected by the ship too. He looked so young and yet so aged at the same time. Q may have been wise enough to become a valued Master of the Council, but that didn’t help ease the burdens of such a position on such young shoulders. James felt a familiar urge to protect rush through him. He felt it all the time while out on missions and feeling it here and now in what he felt was his one true home, with one of his dearest friends was all the more troubling to him.

“Q?” he asked again when he failed to pull more of a response from him.

Q’s eyes briefly rose to meet his before falling once again to the box in his lap, “I told you, I’m fine. This is all just…I should have prepared myself better before coming in here. I just wanted to know what happened, so I could put my mind at ease, but I think I failed spectacularly at that.”

“How so?”

“Because I don’t feel at all more at ease. I feel…disturbed. Like a grain of sand is caught in a motor.”

James frowned. It wasn’t often that Q admitted being bothered by anything beyond mistreatment of equipment or unoiled droid wheels. He liked to keep an air of casual indifference in most scenarios so as not to appear as an overexcited youth, as he’d once confessed to James. To admit it now to James it felt like the dark shroud was drawing in closer.

“Explain,” James ordered softly, his alarm growing with each second that Q refused to meet his gaze, “What do you see?”

Q’s ghostly green eyes drifted over the ships belly, his long thin fingers reaching out as if to stroke the metal hull only to pull his fingers back in the last moment. While his eyes appeared unfocused, James knew he was seeing more than anyone else could. Reading wires and scorches like words on paper.

_Beautiful_ , James thought as he watched.

“I see…I see the remains of this ship’s, and Ronson’s last moments. It was fast. So fast that he may not have had any time to realize what had happened before he was burned from the inside out. So fast that there was no suffering, but it’s hard to imagine what it would have been like. To suddenly not exist in this world,” Q said softly, dropping his hand to settle on BR-E3s smooth blue head.

“Is that what’s bothering you?” James asked gently, laying his hand on top of Q’s, slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth over the soft skin.

Q shook his head, dark curls falling over his eyes, “I wish it was just that. I found the ship’s computer box intact. I’d put an explosion proof box around all Temple ship’s computers ages ago, thinking if anything happened to a jedi or their ship then I could look at it for details. They store all sorts of information after all. Data searches, communications, environmental controls, GPS—”

“And you found data? In his searches?”

Q shook his head again, “Nothing out of the ordinary there. His mission was just supposed to be a public relations meeting that he had planned for months in advance, the ambassadors with him only agreed to go along just before hand. But, E3 told me that it found discrepancies in the environmental controls. Coding changes that weren’t approved by me or anyone for that matter. Simple small changes that aren’t overly harmful in normal circumstances but mixing with the uniquely unstable atmospheric profile of the planet he was on it would result in a catastrophic explosion.”

James sucked in a sharp breath, “Wait, are you telling me that this wasn’t a random bomb? It was just altered code?”

“Yes, but it’s more than that. This was deliberately set to happen to him since he is the only one with access to that ship. It was an assassination. The ambassadors he was with were merely collateral. Someone wanted Master Ronson dead and succeeded,” Q finished as he placed the metal box off to the side, seemingly unable to look or touch it any longer.

James absorbed the information, letting it fill in the missing spots in his minds depiction of what may have played out. There was still too much missing data though. Far too many possible reasons and outcomes to fathom, let alone narrow down. Jedi weren’t exactly well loved by all across the galaxy, but they usually didn’t face individual attempts on lives like this.

“How did they even manage to alter the code like that? Wouldn’t they have had to have some sort of direct access to the Temple bay to mess with the computer?”

Q sighed heavily as he shook his head, “Not necessarily. It is entirely possible, and very troubling to think that it could have been done while the ship was docked here for fueling and such. But it is also just as possible for something to have been done while he was on another planet. All it would take is one inconspicuous droid logging in to the computer through the overhead battle tube and making the changes through a virus of some sort. If only I’d had enough foresight, I could have come up with more robust firewalls. I could have—”

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself. No one saw this coming, and you had enough foresight to install those little boxes, right? Because of that we already have more information than we would have ever had otherwise,” James said sternly, “This person was alarmingly clever going about things, but they probably have no idea that we have this kind of information thanks to your genius.”

“Maybe. Still though, I’ll be wanting to re-do all computer security algorithms as soon as possible before anyone else uses a ship. I can’t let this happen again.”

James agreed completely.

It was disturbing to think that someone targeted a jedi. On the battlefield it was one thing to target a jedi soldier. It was something else entirely to target a well-loved Master who mostly stuck to the Temple as head of security there. It brought up all sorts of concerns that ran through James’ head like a real time list. Was someone trying to break in? Was someone trying to steal Ronson’s position? Did he have unknown enemies? Would there be more attacks?

“What do you think the masters will say?”

Q shrugged, “They’ll be concerned in their own special indifferent way I’m sure. Some of them have greater sight beyond the technical though and may have a better sense of what dark forces may be at play here,” he paused, finally looking up at James, “What do you see?”

“A bloody big mess,” James said plainly without pause.

Q snorted wryly, “You always have a special way with words, James.” BR-E3 chuckled beside them, reminding them both that their hands were still intertwined on its head. 

So many questions, but James knew enough to know that they would not be finding answers tonight. Q would have already pulled every last bit of relevant data he or anyone could find. He had all the information he’d need to deliver during the Council meeting the next morning, all he could do now was wait for that to come.

It was well past midnight now, and both of them were on edge from the discoveries. After knowing Q for so long, he could read his moods and needs better than his own. This was a drain on him. He could see the pressure curled around the young man like a deadly snake. James wanted nothing more than to rip it off his friend just so he could see him relax.

Q always looked so exquisite when he was relaxed.

“We jedi may not be psychic, but I’m reasonably sure I know what it is you’re thinking, James,” Q said, wriggling his fingers under James’ palm.

It got James to smile, knowing that Q was probably right, but he couldn’t stop himself from teasing his friend more.

“Oh? And what am I thinking about?” he asked.

Q rolled his eyes, “Only the most inappropriate things, of course.”

James shrugged, taking hold of Q’s hand for firmly in his own as he brought it to his lips for a gentle kiss, “That’s a given. I want details. All the dirty little bits your brilliant mind can conjure.”

“You’re insufferable,” Q said, but he didn’t pull his hand away.

“And you’re adorable.”

“You’re a cad.”

“And you’re lovely,” James cooed, using his grip on Q to slowly pull him closer until Q had the choice to either fall into James’ lap or pull his hand back.

He didn’t pull his hand back.

Any chill that James felt since learning those gruesome details fled the moment that Q’s willing body fell on to his. Oh, how James loved that Q wore such thin materials since it allowed him to accurately map out his lean frame as his free hand roamed over the young masters back. Q didn’t go for his lips first, like most others did. Q was special in that he found the more soothing intimacy found by pressing his forehead against James’, breathing the same air, sharing in the closeness to each other. Sure, they always eventually found their way to kissing, but it never started there with Q. The first few times that Q had done this; James had found it odd thinking that maybe it was another of Q’s inherited quirks. Perhaps a little endearing. Overtime though, it was what James expected, and missed when he met up with others for pleasures of the flesh. That intimacy surpassed heated kisses now, and he craved it when away.

James had dreamed of coming home to just that feeling almost every time he was on mission, and now was no different. He dug his hands in to those silky dark strands, holding Q in place as their foreheads touched, not wanting it to end too quickly. He felt Q’s hands fall to his shoulders, squeezing tightly as if afraid that James would leave.

James bumped their noses together gently, a silent assurance that he was there and wasn’t going anywhere just yet. Q sighed softly and a little of that pressure surrounding him fell away.

“We should take this upstairs,” Q whispered, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks.

James nodded, “Right. Your place. Don’t want you feeling itchy and dry tomorrow,” he said, already pulling Q to his feet, BR-E3 buzzing happily again around their feet as they hurried out of the bay.

* * *

They had remained in full control of their faculties on their way through the halls and up the lift to Q’s apartment. The only parts of them that touched were occasional brushes of their shoulders, but even to one as experience as James it felt like an electric shock every time. Jedi did not cave in to lust as most did. They felt it, but it was tightly reined in as to not cloud judgement in their lives.

He knew Q felt it too, could feel his aura growing light again in joyful anticipation of a real reunion now that James was back. It warmed James in ways he could not describe to know that someone as vibrant and special as Q was in fact a dear friend and looked forward to James’ return. He never felt like he really deserved such an honor, but he thought perhaps he was selfish enough not to turn it away.

There were the popular rumors of jedi not being allowed to have relationships and therefore never enjoyed what their flesh had to offer. Or in more colorful terms that James had heard a time or two, ‘knocked nothing together besides lightsabers’. None of that was completely true. Not entirely anyway.

Relationships could be anything from rivalry, friendship, kinship, and everything up to and including sexual. The jedi were far too old and wise to think that forbidding love forming in any relationship would be effective or even possible. Jedi by nature were compassionate beings. What is compassion besides love? Possession is what was forbidden. James could love indiscriminately, but he could not hold claim over anyone or anything. Just as such, no one could claim the same of James.

Jedi also knew that denying a body’s needs never worked like some thought it would. You don’t deny a being’s need for water, knowing it can cause damage to it. You don’t deny sexual needs either, knowing it could build natural frustrations in those who’s species or age group craved those sorts of interactions.

They didn’t go off advertising this over the city billboards of course. There was a certain image to uphold after all. But within the walls of the Temple and on more peaceful missions, such interactions were normal.

James had met and bedded countless different beings over the galaxy, enjoying the momentary peace it brought him. Here, however, in the Temple, he’d only found one partner that truly grounded him. Q never expected James to remain celibate while away, just like Q could dally with whomever he chose. They didn’t belong to each other, they never could. Their daily lives, actions and choices had no influence by the other. It was just excellent company held together by a deep friendship.

At least that’s what James was categorizing it as. No one had raised words against them, even while they both lived in a tower full of empathic beings, so they must be fine.

They’d found peace in each other’s company for over a decade, only beginning to enjoy more intimate company of each other in the last few years. Eve and Alec had claimed to have seen it coming far sooner, but James paid them no mind. The when and how of his and Q’s first coupling was their own business and no one else’s.

The doors to Q’s apartment slid open for them as they approached, BR-E3 eagerly entering and twittering happily as it moved to the bedroom probably to settle into its docking port for the night. Q chuckled fondly at his droid’s enthusiasm, bidding it a goodnight as it disappeared beyond the door.

James took in the now familiar apartment as he did when he’d first arrived back in his own apartment. The set up was practically the same, furniture slightly adjusted to more efficient set ups rather than James’ aesthetically pleasing design. There was no carpet for multiple reasons that Q had listed the first and only time James asked about it. Mix of messy personal projects, upsetting the finish BR-E3s pain job, and mold growing from his high humidity settings, among other reasons. It was nice though, gave the rooms somewhat cleaner look.

At least it would look cleaner if not for the high number of large potted plants dotting all over. Some towered as high as the ceiling, with leaves as large as Bond’s chest. Q didn’t claim any sort of green thumb, but he always felt more comfortable with a bit of greenery around. It almost felt like walking into a jungle planet coming in here. James found it rather charming.

“Have you finished whatever assessment you’re making of my living quarters, James?” Q asked, a soft smile on his lips that drew James in closer.

James wrapped his arms around the lithe frame, bumping his forehead against Q’s again playfully, “Just settling back in.”

“You say that as if this is your home,” Q teased back, briefly brushing his lips over James.

“Isn’t it? I find I spend more time here than my own quarters these days.”

Q chuckled, the vibrations of it hitting James’ chest and making him swell with arousal, “Well then how vexing it must be that your laundry is brought over there instead.”

James laughed, swinging them both around in direction of the bedroom, hoping that BR-E3 had already shut down his sensors for the night. The poor little thing did not need to see what James was about to do to its Master.

Their kisses became more frequent and noisier the closer they moved to the bed, already kicking off their boots along the way. Already James could feel how excited and anxious Q was through his thin robes and it made him ache in reciprocated need. Despite the fantastic feel of every bump and swell beneath the colorful clothes, James wanted more, and he wanted it fast.

Blasted jedi robes had to be complicated and horrifically layered though, making the process of getting at Q’s silky skin far too long in his opinion. Jedi patience usually did not have to have any part in the undressing of his partner, but he found himself trying to remember his initiate patience training while slowly unravelling the utility and fabric belts from around Q’s narrow waist.

Q had succeeded in pushing the brown cloak off James’ shoulders and was already halfway done with the rest of his shirt, clever little thing somehow doing it while he was distracted with his own mission of finding a belt loop.

As James finally got started on Q’s layered shirt, the younger man had already cleared the fabric from James’ shoulders and wasted no time in moving his mouth along the taught skin of his pectorals.

“Shit, I’ve missed you and your wicked mouth,” James moaned.

“I’ll remind you that you said that next time you tell me to shut it,” Q said in between his little bites along James’ collar bone.

“Please do. Never shut it again on my account. Far too many better uses for it.”

His comment earned him a particularly sharp bite on his shoulder, but it only served to pool even more heat in his belly. He wasted not a moment more in taking off the rest of Q’s shirt and slipping off his trousers to finally reveal every inch of skin that he’d missed since leaving the Temple.

He passed his hands reverently over the long lines of Q’s body, soaking it all in like he’d been parched in a desert.

“So lovely,” he whispered.

A green flush appeared at his words, making Q’s chest and cheeks appear to glow in the darkness like some bioluminescent plants he’d seen in his travels.

He could feel Q’s eyes and fingers searching his now fully revealed body, but for a decidedly different reason. He could feel the brush of concern against him like a cool breeze in the room.

“No new injuries, Q. I promise,” he said, stopping one fretting hand by capturing it and bringing it back up to his lips.

“I can see that, I suppose. Unless you’ve healed it all with bacta before coming back,” he said, not really stating it as a question, but it hung in the air like one.

“Well, feel free to check me over. Very thoroughly, if you please,” James said, smirking.

Q sighed, rolling his eyes playfully, “Force knows why I put up with you.”

“The Force works in mysterious ways, does it not? Hardly our place to question it,” James teased back, biting at Q’s plump bottom lip just as he managed to drop the rest of James’ clothing on the floor at their feet.

Now that their clothes had been fully shed, words seemed far less important that running their hands and tongues over each other, tasting and relishing in the presence of one another. James could feel their hard cocks brushing together between them, making them groan at each new contact. The heat grew between them, bodies becoming slick with sweat, made all the more poignant by the humid room.

He felt a gentle pull at his waist as Q urged them towards the bed, the eagerness of youth no doubt influencing him to want to move things on a bit. Thankfully, James never minded in the slightest, marveling at the enthusiasm that he seemed to inspire in the young man.

Q guided him to recline back against the stacked pillows at headboard, his hands pushing James down as he climbed into his lap. James hummed appreciatively at the position, liking where things were heading for this coupling. It gave him a perfect view of Q’s stunning body above him and his long and lean cock bobbing between them, not to mention the freedom of his hands to roam freely over the expanse of skin before him. Right away he took advantage of the position to place his hands on Q’s hipbones, running his thumbs along the creases framing Q’s cock. He felt the shivers that ran through his partner as he did so and heard the soft but alluring gasp it produced.

Already aroused beyond belief, he nearly came the moment he felt Q’s arse rub up against his own aching length. He heard Q chuckle above him, no doubt at James’ expense.

“Cheeky little brat.”

“What’s the matter, old man? Too much for you?”

“Careful, I’ll flip us over and wipe that smirk right off your face,” James said, tightening his grip on Q’s hips as if warning him that he’d really do just that.

“Ah, but then I wouldn’t be able to do this,” Q said, grinding his groin down deliciously against James’. The cocks slid roughly together, only eased slightly by their combined precome, but damn if it didn’t feel wonderful.

Not to be outdone by his bed partner, James reached up one hand to firmly grasp the curls on the back of Q’s head, guiding him down for a rough kiss that had too much and just enough tongue while his other hand traveled down between them, taking both lengths in his hand for a deep pump. He growled in satisfaction when he felt Q bucking involuntarily up into his hand, seeking out more of that friction.

He kept his fist relatively loose as he worked the two of them, not wanting to end this before he got the chance at that tight, warm heat that Q had to offer. Then he felt it start, that addicting feeling that they had discovered the first time that they had ever joined like this. The Force began to thrum all around them, made even more potent by the two jedi syncing together on the physical and mental level. James was never able to achieve this kind of connection with anyone else, not even the few numbers of other jedi he’d shared beds with before. It burned along his soul like a cooling fire, both soothing and enticing at the same time. Not even years of meditation could bring him inner peace like moments like this could. He knew Q felt it too in the way that his normally energetic aura settled down, simmering pleasantly around him.

While it was glorious to bask in this level of peace, James could hardly ignore the lithe figure above him who was steadily growing more and more eager. Almost impossible to ignore really, with Q beginning to pant loudly and attempting to add his own hand to their joined cocks in an attempt to get a bit more friction.

“I take it you’re ready for some more then?” James asked, but he was already reaching out to the bedside drawer to pull out their lubricant.

Q growled against his chest, but nodded, “If you’d be so kind. And no teasing, I haven’t the patience for it tonight.”

“As you wish, Master Q.”

If he were being honest, James hardly had the patience either. Far too long away, coupled with the somber mood upon his arrival made James feel a desperation to be as close to Q as possible, or he wouldn’t feel warm ever again.

Liberally, he coated his fingers in the oil before bringing his hand up behind Q, gently rubbing a single digit against his opening a few times before pushing in.

“Shh, shh, relax for me,” he whispered when he felt Q jolt and gasp in his lap at the contact. He only began to slowly penetrate further Q upon feeling him relax a bit, his hands placed on James’ chest unclenching.

“Sorry. It’s been a while,” Q whispered back as he took steadying breaths as James began to work in a second finger.

James tried his best to ignore the slight thrill in his belly at the idea that maybe Q was waiting for just him to return, knowing that it would lead down a worrisome trail of thought. They didn’t belong to each other. They couldn’t. But…maybe Q just didn’t want to share this kind of company with anyone else? James roughly emptied his mind of those kinds of thoughts. This was not the time. This was his time. This was his peace.

With two fingers now easily working in and out of Q, he was now starting to begin his eager movements again. His hips rolling in tight circles in perfect sync with James’ fingers. His bent legs on either side of James’ hips began to lift him up repeatedly as if practicing for what was to come. He was still a bit too controlled for James’ liking, so he took the opportunity to rub his fingers along that inner spot that folded Q right in half as he stroked it. Q nearly folded in half, his chest falling upon James’, panting and cursing against the scarred skin there. Unable to help himself, he stroked again.

“Ah! Oh, James...”

His name never sounded sweeter than when coming from those lips.

Adding the third finger was easier than the first too, Q opening up beautifully now that he was half blissed out on his chest. James let the anticipation build for a moment, thinking that soon enough he’d be inside Q enjoying the feeling of being complete.

“Are you ready, darling?” he asked, voice low and rough.

Instead of answering, Q pushed himself back up, steadying himself with one hand on James’ chest. Gently James withdrew his fingers as Q reached under him to grab at James’ cock to steady it. Then he began to lower himself, spearing himself down on it. James let his head fall back against the pillows as the feel of the searing tight heat started to surround him.

“Easy, easy,” James breathed when he noticed the small crease forming between Q’s eyes, “Don’t rush it if it hurts,” he began to rub a soothing hand over Q’s lower belly.

Q nodded, pausing a moment to breathe and adjust before continuing to lower down further. It felt like an age, a damn glorious age, before he finally bottomed out. Both of them sighed at the feeling of being fully connected again. Slowly, James began to run his hands up and down Q’s flanks, enjoying the feel of having him so close.

“I missed you,” Q whispered in the small silence, like it was a confession. Perhaps it was.

“I missed you as well. I always do,” James whispered back, knowing just how painfully true it was.

With small increasing undulations, Q began to pump his legs under him as he bobbed up and down on James’ cock. He was stunning like this. Using James for his needs, his mouth half slacked open in pleasured gasps and whimpers as he picked up the pace. He tried to reach for his own bobbing cock, but James quickly slapped his hand away to replace it with his own. His fingers still slick from before, he was able to work Q properly now, taking every chance he could to draw more of those delectable sounds from his mouth.

James groaned loudly as Q started to move even faster above him, riding him with pleasured abandon. The sight, the feel, the tastes, the sounds, all of it was perfect and everything James had wanted.

This was it. They both needed this. A moment outside of their heads, living purely in the flesh for a time.

The room around them was filled with the wet sounds of their coupling, James’ moans, and Q’s soft whimpers. James soaked every decibel in, wanting to keep those sounds cataloged in his mind for his lonely days to come out on missions. He knew they were both getting close though. Q’s movements were becoming more erratic as he chased his orgasm, and James wasn’t far behind. He was thrusting up to meet Q at every drop, roughly meeting in the middle in the most heavenly way.

_“Oh, oh, oh. Right there, oh. James.”_

_“Oh, you feel perfect. So good for me.”_

Q came first, cresting between the two of them as he cried out before collapsing over James’ chest. James held him there as he thrust up only a handful more times before coming himself, filling up Q’s willing body. It was like having all the stress and pain of the last half solar cycle leave his body in one fell swoop. He fell limp under Q, the two of them molding together in one sweaty, exhausted, completely content heap.

When mental faculties and muscle control returned to his body, James lifted a lazy hand up as he summoned a flannel from the washroom with the Force.

“I don’t think the Order would approve of you using to Force for something like that,” Q said, but didn’t complain when James wiped them both down. Mess taken care of, the two of them settled back down together on the bed, James cradling Q against his chest with his head of curls tucked under his chin.

“The Order doesn’t approve of many things. I’m sure they hardly approve of me improperly influencing one of their most promising young members,” James rumbled, placing a soft kiss into the curls tickling his nose.

Q snorted against his chest, “While my wisdom may be cycles ahead of my age, my libido certainly isn’t. Something I hope the much older members of the High Council are intelligent enough to realize.”

“Now there’s some wisdom for you. They should put that down in the archives along with all the other endless tomes of jedi sayings.”

“Oh, shut up you.”

James chuckled, squeezing Q’s body closer to his own. The room felt even more humid now that they had worked up quite a bit of body heat between the two of them, but James found himself unbothered by the abundant warmth.

“You know, I think I’m starting to adapt to your little jungle climate,” he mused.

Q lifted his head, smiling softly up at the older man, “Does that mean you’re going to start being cross when inevitably I steal the covers?”

James lifted his chin as if pondering the thought, “Perhaps not. It just means I’ll have to spoon you to keep warm.”

“Ugh. Smother me you mean.”

“Sounds a lot less romantic when you put it that way.”

Q laughed, the sweet sound filling the room and James’ chest with light.

“So, you are staying the night then,” Q said around a yawn, not really a question as he began to fade off into the early moments of sleep. Already James could feel Q’s body become slack against him as slumber made his mind fuzzy.

“I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into the dark room.

Q yawned again, rubbing his nose into James’ shoulder, “You say that, but it always feels like you’re on the move. Like you’re running away from something.”

James frowned, wondering what Q meant by that, but before he could ask, he felt sleep completely overtake the younger man as his aura and mind completely settled.

The peace from before had not broken yet, and James used it to wrap around himself like a blanket before finally letting himself drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all!


	4. Darkness Watching

As expected, the next morning when Q gave his report the Masters were all in agreement that the news was unwelcome, but they would not give in to alarm just yet. They gave Q and several of his technical team permission to do a full investigation in to any enemies Master Ronson may have had, in hopes of determining not only who may have done this, but to also assure all that this would be an isolated incident. In the meantime, Master M began preparing for a goodwill mission to the planets of the killed ambassadors, to extend the apologies of the Order for the loss of their people.

James did not want to give in to alarm either, knowing that fear often lead to people doing emotionally driven stupid acts, but he couldn’t help but feel that the Order was not doing enough. He didn’t have the words, nor the reasoning for his feeling, so he forced himself to keep his thought to himself. No need to give the Masters something to truly worry about, in the form of a broken jedi who may be giving in to the dangerous emotion of paranoia.

Several days had passed however, and nothing else seemed to have happened to make anyone think this was perhaps more than one terrible incident. While that meant most around him had relaxed fractionally, it only seemed to make James tense up even more. His peace upon returning was quickly becoming strained, even his nightly stays with Q did little to help alleviate his growing distress.

Q did what he could to help James when he could. Late nights spent satisfying their bodies and chatting about little nothings until they fell into slumber. Early mornings spent over soothing tea, and hearty breakfasts. During the days, when Q was able and available, he’d cautiously allow James to sit with him in the labs or bays as he worked. Sometimes he even granted James a harmless task, but only after he assured himself that James could cause no irreparable damage to the item. He knew that endless hours of computer diagnostics and coding made James restless, so for those hours he sent the Knight off to spar with Alec.

The physical act of sparring was a wonderful distraction. He found the sore muscles, and heavy breaths were a lovely distraction away from the wandering thoughts his mind seemed to travel down when he wasn’t focused on another task. Alec too was good at being that kind of distraction, keeping James on his toes and always ready with a quick joke. Not everyone in the Temple had a sense of humor, so Alec always came in as a breath of fresh air among the staler atmosphere of their fellow Order members.

But as the days passed, it was getting harder for James to shake of that foreboding feeling that clung to him like a bad smell. The distractions that Q and Alec were providing were becoming less effective. He needed out of the Temple like he needed out from his mind. There were no missions being doled out yet though, not until the investigation was closed out.

And Q, brilliant and sweet Q, had the perfect solution to that.

* * *

“Don’t go wandering off if you see something shiny this time. It took me over an hour to find you again last time we did this, and I don’t fancy having to do it again.”

Q rolled his eyes as he dodged elegantly out of the way of a bulky Kitonak waddling by, “You’re the one who lost his commlink. If you had it I would have only been a buzz away,” he groused, reaching out to pat his chest where his own link was stored in an inner pocket.

“He’s got a point though, Q. We don’t know what’s safe or not for the Order right now. Best stick close to one of us at all times since you have a habit of wandering off,” Alec said grinning as he turned back to James, “Do you think one of us should hold his hand?”

Q groaned loudly, tucking his hand morosely in to the pockets of his civilian robes, “Oh, bugger off, both of you.”

Normally the jedi who ventured out into the markets of Coruscant felt perfectly safe wearing their jedi robes, but with the investigation they had been advised to be more subtle in their appearance if they left the Temple. James liked this suggestion for several reasons, some measure of safety as one reason, the other because it was truly a sight to see Q outside of his usual wardrobe.

Q’s unique beauty was only enhanced by the soft, colorful silks he wore draped around him, flowing with every step he took. Gentle pastel green and yellow creating some kind of ombre effect down to his sandaled toes, it was wonderful to see him in bright colors to match his aura for a moment. He stood out gorgeously, enough where James felt better when he and Alec were flanking his sides, people stopping to glance at the passing vision. Even if Q himself seemed to be completely unaware of the attention.

James and Alec had dressed more subtly themselves, choosing more neutral colors in the current tunic fashion in the best attempt to blend in with the crowd. They still earned their fair share of looks as the trio walked around the markets, but thankfully it was more to do with their handsome faces, rather than for being a jedi.

With their lightsabers tucked out of sight, they were able to move through the crowds as if they were apart of the general populace, and it eased a little bit of the tension in James’ chest. In the Temple he always was very aware of what he allowed himself to think and feel, worrying if he was expression the wrong emotions and would be caught out by his Order’s empathic abilities. Out here though, he hardly had to worry about Q or Alec as they always accepted him no matter what his mood, and the public had no idea what he was feeling. It was freeing in a way. He made a mental note to thank Q later for suggesting that he and Alec escort the young Master to the markets to look for special ship parts. He needed this break.

He almost always found what he needed in the markets, as opposed to junk yards. Honestly, they usually found more than what they needed while looking around, as it was hard to resist the many new things to explore down there. The markets of Coruscant were their own special community, lush with life and sounds, smells and tastes. Thousands of different species had booths along the streets here, all offering many of the wonders and luxuries of their respective home worlds. Walking down just one of the rows was like visiting twelve planets.

Species, large and small, young and old, bipedal or not, all bustled along the paths, baskets and bags in hand as they bartered and paid for whatever caught their fancy. Even droids were passing this way and that, running errands for their masters or delivering messages. If one was not careful, they would find themselves sprawled on the ground within moments of becoming distracted. James knew that Q always became distracted by one thing or another whenever they came here, and if it weren’t for his Force enhanced awareness, he’d have probably ended up shoved on his arse more times than not.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Q slow down his steps as his eyes were drawn in by a street performer. James rolled his eyes fondly before nudging him along with a hand on the small of Q’s lean back.

“Another time, Q. As nice as it is to be out an about, we don’t want to linger out here longer than necessary,” he said reluctantly. He’d have loved to let Q enjoy the market to his heart’s desire, but they were still at risk, even with civilian clothes. He couldn’t risk Q more than he had to.

Alec heard the exchange and offered a sympathetic slap on the back as he helped guide the smaller man forward, “Don’t worry. We’ll bring you back out once all this has passed.”

Q sighed, but nodded as he followed his escorts, “I suppose. It’s unlikely that you both would still be here though. I’m sure you’ll be shipped off the moment that the investigation is closed,” he said with little emotion, but both of the older jedi could hear the tinge of disappointment on his tongue. They knew better than to try and tell him otherwise, knowing it would be a lie. Q always knew when they were lying.

Alec hated seeing anyone less than happy, and Q even more so. He quickly tossed a coin at the nearest vendor with sweets and grabbed several little confectioneries that he handed over to Q with a flourish. It brought a small but sweet smile back to his face as he thanked Alec for his treat.

James felt his insides melt a bit as he watched.

They continued to move along, passing more exotic food booths as they went along, each offering more enticing smells than the last. There were colorful tents that displayed vibrant clothes to fit many species, some of which caught even James eye as he wondered if Q would enjoy wearing them next time he had to wear civilian robes.

It was Q though who had to bodily drag Alec and James forward when they passed the booths that displayed an array of fascinating weapons. Jedi rarely used anything outside of their lightsabers, but James and Alec still had always been fascinated by what else was out there. Q didn’t let them indulge though, not if he wasn’t allowed to stop at the books and tomes tents.

It was becoming difficult to resist the many items that continued to draw their attention, but they kept each other on task for the most part. It was slow goings though. While the markets held nearly anything anyone could want, there wasn’t exactly an inventory or map of the tents. One had to simply walk around until they found what they were looking for, or they had to pay off some vendor to spill information that they may have on certain items. Q had always been a bit more controlled with his Order allowances, so they were running the route of wandering around for now. If it dragged on too long, James may just pull out his own allowance just to get some tongues wagging.

“What are we looking for again?” Alec asked wearily, his eyes scanning the tables of random baubles and goodies like he was looking for his left sock.

Q’s sigh was loud enough to even be heard over the crowds, “Again, we’re looking for a A1-X5 model fuse from the Barrataka engine line,” already stepping up his pace as he waltzed by Alec with a tightly controlled exasperated look. He moved on ahead of the two Knights who shared a look at the Master’s back.

“He says that like I’m supposed to know what that is, let alone what it could possibly look like,” Alec muttered while scratching at a loose scale on his neck.

James shrugged, “Pretty sure we’re just here for company. He probably won’t even let us touch it once we find the damn thing.”

“Is that all? Here I thought I was here as a bodyguard for yours and his little date.”

James went momentarily still at Alec’s words, his eyes becoming a shade colder as he stared at a spot over Alec’s shoulder, “Date? Jedi don’t date, Alec.”

Alec raised his brow, “Well, could have fooled me. You two have been spending a lot of time together is all. And you’ve been feeling…burdened. More than usual. I’m worried that you’re on the edge of something and don’t know how to stop yourself from falling over.”

James bristled, “If you have something to say, Alec, then say it. Your mind tricks won’t work on me,” already his mind was whirling with barely concealed panic. Alec and he had never spoken of it in words, but he’d always suspected that his friend could sense the bit of lurking darkness within James. It was part of why James treasured their friendship so much. He thought Alec looked past all that, but he still always worried that Alec would eventually see him as a lost cause to the Order.

His oldest friend sighed, placing a heavy clawed hand on to James shoulder with a soft squeeze and a small frown. Immediately, James knew that he had reacted too harshly. He felt no animosity coming from Alec, only compassion and concern. The fight flowed out of him like water over stones.

Alec’s reptilian eyes searched out his own, mirroring the care James had felt, “I’m just worried about you. So is Q. Whatever it is that’s been eating you up for years is coming to a precipice, and we want to help.”

“You’re not worried about me and Q being too close?”

Alec snorted, “Hardly! You’re good for each other and nobody senses anything alarming or they would have said something already.”

James nodded, letting out a soft breath of relief, “Good. And I’m fine, I’m just in my head a bit lately. I’ve been more off kilter than I can ever remember since Ronson, and I can’t figure out why. It’s like… an itch in the back of my mind. No matter where I look or prod, I can’t seem to find the source. The irritant is getting to me I suppose,” he said, his gaze drifting over to a tent a ways down the road where he quickly spotted Q haggling with the Snivvian vendor over what looked like nothing more than some welded together bits of metal. He felt his body relax fractionally as he assured himself that Q was still safe and close. He turned back to Alec who was giving him a knowing look, the bumpy ridge above his eyes raised in amused inquiry.

James rolled his eyes, “I just want to be sure he hasn’t wandered off too far.”

“Of course, that’s why you look like a fretting porg looking for his wandering mate.”

James wrinkled his nose, “I don’t look like a porg.”

“Ah, but you admit to looking like you’re searching for your missing mate?”

James forced himself not to bristle at the possessive term, assuring himself that there were no other jedi in the market today to overhear, but he found his alarm growing inside like windchimes warning of an oncoming storm. He thought the ringing would die down as soon as Alec’s attention moved on to a snack cart moving by them, but they only grew louder. James felt the Force gather around him as his senses became alight. Something was wrong here.

It drew Alec’s attention right back to him, snack forgotten, as his friend’s hand drifted to his belt where his lightsaber was hidden beneath some fabric, “James?” he asked.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” James said as he subtly started to glance around the market for any hint at a threat. He saw nothing different from their earlier stroll, just new human and other beings faces going about their business. He tried to catalog as many as he could, but it was just too crowded. Where was the threat? What was the Force trying to warn James about?

A cold dread settled in his belly and he was already moving before his heart even had time to register the adrenaline that surged through his body as he remembered Q wasn’t by his side.

He wasn’t able to see Q anymore, not since the crowds had shifted to block where he had been standing out of view, and he cursed himself for getting distracted. He knew that coming out here was a risk, and he should have been paying closer attention to Q’s wandering.

Swiftly, he and Alec pushed through the crowd to where they last saw Q, still not drawing their sabers, but their hands were kept surreptitiously close. James still didn’t see anything that could be labeled as a threat, but that did nothing to slow him down.

Finally, they reached the booth, Alec pushing aside the last person in their way, and they pulled up short upon seeing Q still there haggling with the vendor some language that James hardly recognized. Q paused mid-sentence, his own senses tingling at the gather cloud of energy around the two Knights, and he looked at them with a concerned frown.

“Is everything alright?” he asked slowly, his own eyes and Force seeking tendrils roaming over the street to try and identify whatever had alarmed his friends. He didn’t seem to pause on anything, so he, like Alec, had not felt anything to be alarmed about.

James would have perhaps felt foolish if he had not lived this long listening to the Force when it told him something was wrong. Instead he took the last few steps up to where Q was, grabbed his sleeve and started to pull him away from the table and the protesting seller.

“James, do you want that upgrade to your ship or not?” Q groused, digging his feet in a little.

“It can bloody wait, we need to leave now,” James nearly growled.

“But I don’t sense anythi—”

Alec stepped in, grabbing Q’s other sleeve, “Best trust James on this one, Q. Better safe than sorry. Let’s get ourselves back to the Temple.”

Q deflated in their arms and began to let himself be dragged away. It was a shame; he had almost gotten the seller down another four credits.

* * *

Hours later, James found himself in a place he honestly thought he’d never visit. It was truly a last resort. He felt lost. He felt unbalanced. He felt cold. And this time he didn’t think he’d find what he was looking for in Q’s arms or while swimming in the Garden’s pond.

He had never liked this room as a padawan. He’d never hated it, not just because jedi weren’t supposed to hate, but because there had been some fond moments in here. His master had always favored the star rooms for meditation, always saying she found the most peace while feeling like she was a part of the sky. She had taken him to all kinds of meditation rooms in hopes to find one environment that would help him with his concentration issues, but as none seemed to be any better than the last, she’d eventually brought him back to her more favored ones.

It frustrated him that he could not fix his trouble with some reflective time like the other jedi. They always seemed to be of a mind that thinking about things extra hard in a dark room would solve all their problems, but James found action to be more satisfying solution. Just another way he was different he supposed.

After they had made it back to the Temple with absolutely no trouble, James’ doubts began festering. Why had only he picked up on the warning? Was he just finally losing his mind? Did he just make a fool of himself in front of two of his best friends, or was something truly wrong?

Alec had clapped him on the back, telling him to get some food and rest and that he’d feel better later. James doubted it but nodded his thanks for the advice as Alec trudged off to find his own meal.

Q had lingered by his side though, his lovely eyes concerned and searching as they roamed over James. As much as James adored the feeling of having Q care enough to be worried about him, he felt ashamed for his brashness being so transparently unstable in front of not only a Master of the High Council, but a very dear friend. But Q hardly seemed judgmental. He radiated nothing but kindness and concern. It made James feel even worse.

“Come find me later,” Q had whispered as he drifted away, probably sensing that James was not ready to talk.

James appreciated the space, but there would never be a time that Q walking away from him didn’t make his chest ache a little.

Now here he found himself attempting once again to be a normal jedi by taking on the arduous task of meditation.

_If I could clear my mind for just one damned minute,_ he thought bitterly.

He sat on one of the many offered pillows scattered around the room, facing towards the stars like his master had always preferred. The lights were low, something he chose himself so that his attention would be less likely to drift while attempting this farce of an exercise. He was seated comfortably, feet tucked under himself, arms relaxed all the way down to his fingertips that lay limply over his knees. His eyes were closed. He looked the picture perfect meditative jedi, but inside him a tremulous mess.

It wasn’t as if this was his first time doing this. He’d been successful before plenty of times in emptying his mind so he may focus on a single problem. It didn’t necessarily make him feel better when he was done, like it did for the others, but at least he could bloody well do it. Now though, every time he empties his thoughts to bring up solely what was bothering him, it all suddenly came flooding back through the dams in his mind.

He tried to focus on Ronson’s death, the event that started this all, only for Q’s face to pop up. He’d switch to what had bothered him in the market only for flashes of his master and his latest mission to crop up like unwanted weeds in a garden.

He was supposed to be able to clear his mind and focus, but for the life of him, he just couldn’t seem to keep his mind from drifting.

“Now he’s a sight to see.”

His master’s sudden voice pulled him from his latest attempt, his whole body sagging as he let out a frustrated breath. He didn’t look her way, already feeling through the force that she was coming around to sit at his side as they had done thousands of times during his padawan years. He kept his eyes on the stars as she settled down, far more gracefully than anyone else her age.

“Master,” he greeted solemnly.

“James,” she greeted back. Her eyes straight forward on the stars now too, “Imagine my surprise when I feel myself being called by the Force to find my old student, and I find him here of all places. I thought you’d given up on meditation.”

He sighed wearily, “And now it appears to have given up on me.”

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. Mediation is a tool, not holding an ounce of sentience beyond what we allow it. If it’s not working, you’re either not using it correctly or you’re not even using the right tool. So, which is it?” she asked, not letting any sympathy in to her voice. It was something James always liked about her. No beating around the bush, no coddling. He never needed it, and never wanted it.

They had their own special relationship, like any master and padawan had, but James liked to think that theirs was of a more unique set up. Most other padawans and master pairs he’d known were very affectionate with each other. Being both teacher and student, but with familial closeness. There was rarely any other bond as strong than master and padawan for jedi. They lived, learned, worked, and survived with each other for sometimes up to a decade or more.

Alec and his master had been close to a point. Alec had been particularly brash and independent in his work, and so had his master, so their pairing made it so Alec could learn without being smothered. Their missions together had made them brothers in arms from the start. A good fit for him, truly.

Eve was chosen by a much older master, one who taught her the basics of fighting and defense of a jedi. And Eve was talented in that regard, but the master also taught her about the finer arts of politics, foreign affairs, and leadership. It was through this that Eve had found that she had an even more useful talent in regard to staying close to home, the capital and helping the Order remain on par with the government working around them, and with her help, with them. James knew Eve would eventually make it on to the High Council someday. Nobody knew more about what was happening internally and externally from the Temple than her.

Q’s master had been a dear old man, another past member of the High Council before his untimely death while on mission with his padawan. Their relationship had been sweet and caring, the old master keeping Q humble and focused as his genius had begun to show more and more. Q still spoke fondly of him, and often, but never of what had happened on that fateful mission.

That wasn’t him and his master though. She knew right away that James drifted from soft handling, and gentling words, and therefore was a perfect fit as her apprentice since she had no inclination to do either of those. James needed firm and resolute teaching, and she provided it. It wasn’t that she was unkind, in fact she was very kind. She gave James exactly what he wanted and needed and never let him stray from his path. He felt safe sharing his thoughts with her, knowing that she would offer her sage advice and leave the repetitive jedi sayings ‘for the books and boring teachers’ she would say. He knew through whispers in the hallways that M had another padawan years before him, but he’d never gotten a name, nor a reason for never meeting him. He could only assume he’d been killed and it was perhaps too raw for M to speak of it.

James relaxed a bit, releasing his body from the meditative form as he leaned back on his hands, “I’m unsure, honestly. It just seems preposterous that something as simple as _not thinking_ is out of my grasp. I try to focus on one of the things that’s bothering me, only to have more fall in beside it. I’m not used to having so much difficulty with this.”

She hummed a bit, her sharp gaze drifting over the constellations before them, “Have you perhaps thought that maybe the reason you can’t focus on one of your problems is because they all are a part of the same problem?”

James turned to stare at her with a frown.

She ignored him and continued, “The subconscious is a mysterious place for many species, especially those who are touched by the Force. It’s constantly working in the background, even while we sleep. It would be no wonder that it could piece together a puzzle before our waking mind even was aware there was a puzzle to solve. That’s why we look upon dreams having meaning, because for all we know we’re being shown answers that we didn’t know yet the question asked.”

“Be that as it may, overwhelming me with all of it at once it’s helping be understand any better. How does one even go about reading the book when having a library thrown at his face?”

M chuckled, “Always one for dramatics, James. But I have a feeling that says the coming conversation is one best done with tea, so up you get. Your quarters are closer. You better have something decent tucked away up there.”

James did, mostly in case Q ever stopped by his quarters, but he didn’t tell her that as he led her out of the room and towards the lifts.

* * *

Tea in hand and a much less oppressive atmosphere, James let himself sink back into the couch across from the padded chair that M had made herself at home in.

He wasn’t one for tea, usually, but the practice of sharing a cup with his master was something he’d grown accustomed to over their many years together. It had been a long time since he’d last gotten to do this with her and it felt…normal.

While his master was not one for wasting time, she also had patience beyond what James ever thought was possible for someone with as much fire has her. She calmly waited for her tea to cool in silence as she drifted in and out of deep thought. It gave James time to become less frustrated, drinking in the calming aura of his master like a pup comforted by the presence of its mum. He’d be embarrassed by that if it didn’t happen to almost every trained jedi at some point.

She took a sip, and then another before lifting her cool eyes to meet his own, “James, I know you struggle with meditation in general, but if you aren’t relaxed even enough to effectively close yourself off to your own mind, then you need to seek out a different way.”

He raised his brow, “A jedi master suggesting that meditation isn’t a fix it all? I’m aghast,” he joked.

Only her immense control over herself kept her from rolling her eyes at him, “I’m just old enough at this point to feel confident in admitting that not everything can be muddled out on our own. We are not solitary creatures, so we need not isolate ourselves in a dark room and pretend that we are.”

“Is that why you came and found me then?”

She huffed, “Hardly. Master-padawan bonds never truly end unless one of them dies. I just didn’t want to feel you mucking up my aura with your incessant worrying. It’s hardly professional, James. We’re to keep better control over our emotions. And on that matter, I wanted to talk to you about Master Q’ren as well.”

James body went stiff, teacup frozen at his lips.

She sighed heavily in to her cup, “Oh, relax will you. I’m not about to tell you off for finding comfort in a friend, as long as you keep in mind our limitations that the Order holds us to. We all feel the effect the two of you have on each other, and frankly you both balance each other out better together than apart. You’ve both kept your emotions within the set boundaries, and you need to stop worrying so much about it. Q is a very bright and talented young master, with wisdom beyond his years. I’d honestly have pegged _him_ as the chosen one, rather than that Anakin lad that Kenobi parades around, but alas it isn’t so,” she said, pausing to take another sip of tea, “I wasn’t going to bring that up by the way, I only mentioned him because if you’re struggling with too many thoughts than he would probably be the best person to ask about sorting through them all. Lord knows that poor boy struggled for many years at quieting his mind.”

James hadn’t even thought Q struggling with anything was possible. From what he’d known of Q before they had even met, he was a true prodigy, excelling in anything thrown at him. He had always seemed so put together after that.

“How long did he struggle with that?” he asked after a lengthy pause.

She shrugged, “As far as I know he has never completely stopped, he just has his own way of handling things. If you seek him out later, perhaps ask him about it. Perhaps he can even help you solve whatever it is that has clung to you since I brought you to this Temple.”

James knew she was casually referring to the darkness that he held inside. They’d touched upon it a few times over the years, but she never gave any indication that James was anything but a true jedi. James wondered if she knew that he believed her to be most of the reason the darkness had been held at bay. He didn’t think she’d appreciate that anyway.

“Anyway, I’ll be leaving very soon for a goodwill mission. Right after we’re done here actually. I won’t be back until just before the K’leeran ceremonial opening, so if you find yourself struggling in another dark room, please do us all a favor and seek out someone?” she asked, finishing the last sip of her tea and setting the cup softly back in its dish.

James looked up at her surprised, “You? You haven’t left the planet for years.”

She sighed, “Well, being head of the High Council usually forces me to stay close to home, but there are ambassadors who were killed in a jedi related accident. It’s customary to have whoever is in that position go an offer condolences in person. We want to keep in the good graces of as many planets as we can.”

It made sense, but he couldn’t shake off the feeling of unrest that rumbled inside as he thought about his master leaving the safety of the Temple walls. He wondered for a moment if she felt this way every time he left for another mission, but he quickly brushed it off. Sentiment like that wasn’t her thing.

Although, now that he thought of sentiment…

“Before you go, I got you something on my last mission,” he said, already walking off towards his room where he still had it tucked away in a drawer. He didn’t have to turn around to know that his master was giving him an exasperated look.

He came back holding the little blue box, a large grin over his face as he handed it proudly over.

She kept her eyes held in an unimpressed fashion as she lifted the lid, too used to James’ gift giving practices to argue it anymore.

“Good lord, that’s truly hideous. Thank you, James,” she said sarcastically, pulling out a brightly painted ceramic canine figurine.

James beamed, knowing that for whatever reason, the uglier the gift, the more she was inclined to keep it in a place of honor in her quarters. He took great joy in making his masters quarters look like the galaxy’s worst novelty shop. Perhaps someday he’d ask her why she only kept the worst ones, but there was time for that later.

She carefully returned it to the box and handed it back to him, “You’ll have to keep that safe for me here,” she said, “I’m headed off world now.”

He smirked, “It’ll be in perfect condition for your return.”

She finally allowed herself to roll her eyes, “Wonderful. Goodnight, James. May the Force be with you.”


	5. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you guys are actually enjoying this fic? Any feedback at all would be fantastic. Here's the next chapter, thanks!

It was days later, while James was in one of the Temple gyms going through his katas when he felt the bond snap. She was there and then suddenly she was not. It wasn’t jarring, nor painful, just a sudden emptiness that made James feel like he’d lost all sense of balance. He stumbled the last step on the ninth katas, falling to one knee as his mind raced to discern what had happened. Perhaps he already knew what had happened instinctively, but it wasn’t until fifteen minutes later when Even and Alec came rushing in to the gym to find him, twin looks of despair on their faces, that James let it register that his Master had died.

They had both found James still bent over on one knee, panting over the gym mats, looking devastated and confused. While they had entered the room with hurried steps, they slowed to a crawl as they made the final approach to James. Surely, they felt the chaos of emotion swirling around him like a growing storm. His Master would have reminded him how unprofessional that was. Now he had to remind himself.

If it weren’t for the shock playing its part in the numbness, James doubted he’d have been able to rein it all back in enough to form the words to ask his friends what had happened.

Eve looked physically pained, choking a bit as she tried to answer, only to turn to Alec with pleading eyes as she found herself unable to say what they all knew.

“She’s gone, James,” Alec said, as gently as he could.

James nodded dumbly, having known as much but still needing to hear it from another to confirm. He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat, “How?”

Eve bit her lip, “Bombing,” she said with regret, “Her and several of the planets inhabitants were lost, but we can be reasonably sure that she was the intended target. Given recent events.”

James nodded again, not sure what to say. Already he was working on a way to convince the High Council to allow him to be part of the investigation without sounding like a revenge seeking Sith, but he was finding no such words or reasons yet. They would never allow it. Too emotionally invested. Revenge a path to the Dark Side. She wouldn’t want that.

The room had started to feel very cold despite the workout he’d just been in the middle of, and James suppressed a shiver, his eyes jumping all over the room just to avoid looking at the sympathetic looks of his friends. He knew they saw how James’ emotions were reeling, almost completely uncontrolled beyond the resistance of tears. He didn’t want them to see him so vulnerable. They were his friends, yes, but that didn’t mean he ever wanted to lay bare his weaknesses to them. He only ever felt comfortable doing that with his Master and…

“Where’s Q?” he asked, sounding a bit dazed, looking around as if he could have possibly missed the young man’s entrance at some point.

Eve’s shoulders dropped a fraction as she reached out to gently squeeze James’ arm, “He would have come with us to find you, but he was called in for an emergency Council meeting. You know he would have wanted to be here with you if he could.”

Mentally, James kicked himself, he should have known that would be where Q was. Q had much more to his life than to be at James’ beck and call. He actually would be able to do something about M’s death while James was to go through what most padawans eventually go through. The loss of their Master. He was hardly the first. He needed to keep himself together for her sake.

If only he knew how.

“I need to be alone for a while,” James said finally, still refusing to look his friends in the eyes.

He didn’t wait for their answer before he strode as calmly as he could from the room, not even sure where he was even going.

* * *

Whether it was his feet or the Force, James found himself in one of the smaller docking bays on the far East of the Temple. The bay doors to the outside cityscape were clear here, with a spectacular view of the city below and the ships darting by. It was as good a spot as any for James to crumple to the floor to mindlessly watch the outside world, alone. This was one of the lesser used rooms, mostly just a tinkering bay for Q to experiment more than anything. James wasn’t even sure if anyone else ever came in here besides them.

Once again, James found himself with too many thoughts and puzzle pieces thrown about all at once. It almost seemed hopeless to try and sort it all out to make himself feel better, but that’s part of what jedi were supposed to be though. Hope filled creatures. Always looking for the light in things.

Only, James was pretty sure that the light that kept him sane and centered in the Force had just been blown to bits by an unknown enemy. Would he finally become lost in the Darkness now? Would the Order finally realize his alarming shortcomings and kick him out of the only home he ever knew?

He didn’t want to lose what he had, but if he couldn’t control his own emotions then did he even deserve to be here?

A soft whistle at his side made James startle a bit, hand reaching for his saber before his eyes fell on the shiny blue dome of BR-E3s head as the little droid peered up at him. James had always wondered if the creators of droids intentionally imbedded their creations with likeness to themselves. Berry to him seemed so much like its master sometimes with its wide and open expressions despite not actually having a face beyond a large sensor that looked like an eye. It was a pale comparison, but Berry’s presence was almost like having Q by his side.

“Working on a project for your master, Berry?” he asked softly, wondering why the droid was down here rather than at its master’s side.

BR-E3 squeaked and chirped in denial, rolling up closer to James’ side until it was seated against his hip.

James twitched a lip up in a mockery of an attempt at a smile, “Ah, he sent you to look for me then.”

BR-E3 chirped again to confirm, nestling in closer among the folds of James’ robes like it tended to do with Q’s.

It was a sweet gesture that James had not been expecting but appreciated selfishly. He found himself craving the young master’s company more than he ever had before, and not even for more carnal reasons for once. He craved just the peace Q provided, the sense of his presence, like a starving man would crave food. His belly ached and churned in his suppressed agony as he wondered why jedi had to ignore such emotions when he felt like a bottle about to burst. It had only been an hour since he felt that bit of his soul dissipate, but James felt like he had aged by cycles.

The Council would undoubtedly be still in session for hours more at least. The Highest of their Order had been murdered, leaving the Council without leadership and with a gaping hole in their little world. Not to mention how the loss made the entire Order appear weakened, vulnerable. Things that James himself couldn’t stand to associate with himself but knew that’s where they all stood currently. Their fearless, grounded leader was gone. The one candle in James’ storm, turned to smoke and ash.

Never more before had James wished he was like the others, and could close off his mind and find peace instantly. He was still as broken as he ever was.

* * *

“There you are.”

James startled for the second time that evening as Q’s voice broke the deafening silence that had fallen over him. He blinked several times as reality came back into focus as he took in his shadowed surroundings, noting that the sun had long set and the sky was dark and dotted with the blinking lights of ships passing. Hours must have passed with him sitting here in the darkened bay, BR-E3 still pressed to his side.

In small increments he let his body crumble from his alert posture and back to his slouched position against the window as he sensed Q approach slowly like the others had done earlier. James wondered if it was because they secretly feared he would finally snap and go Sith.

Q didn’t feel afraid as he sat close to James on the floor, more than anything he radiated exhaustion and sorrow. He didn’t touch James as he sat, but he did move himself in such close proximity that James could feel the warmth coming off his skin. It was the first thing that didn’t feel cold in hours.

Q must have sensed something, because wordlessly he removed the cloak from his shoulders and draped it over James. While he didn’t move or say anything in response, James knew that Q could feel his gratefulness.

It would have been easy for Q to have BR-E3 go and turn on the lights for them, but he didn’t give any such order, leaving them both to sit there in the darkness as they looked out at the city. It had been so silent since M was killed, his bond that had always been a buzz in the back of his brain since they’d first become Master and Padawan having gone mute. It was becoming a source of frustration for James, and he wanted nothing more than to fill that silence that was so distracting and consuming, but he did not have words to even begin a sentence that didn’t sound like his world had ended.

But Q…he always knew exactly what James needed. And his soft, soothing voice finally broke through the surface and saved James from where he was drowning.

“Despite what you may feel right now, James. Please know that you aren’t alone,” he said as soft as silk.

James wanted to respond with something caustic and mean, but he didn’t even have the energy for even that yet.

Q sighed and James could feel the weight of his stare even through the darkened room, “I would have thought you’d be in the Gardens. That was why it took E3 so long to find you. I sent it out as soon as I felt the disturbance in the Force and realized what it meant. I didn’t expect you here though. I suppose I come here for peace, but I did not picture it providing the same for you.”

James had asked himself the same question, only coming to an uncomfortable answer as he sat here the last few hours. He had come here because consciously or not, he was seeking the same comfort he found in Q. He didn’t say this out loud though, instead choosing to shrug off the comment.

He felt Q inch closer, “James…I am so sorry for your loss,” he whispered, finally reaching out to lay a hand tentatively on James arm. James tensed a bit, almost pulling his arm away to physically reject the sympathy, but eventually he let himself melt in to the contact.

“The Masters also extend their condolences and offer themselves for any guidance you may seek in this time,” Q continued, his gaze falling to his lap as the words fell from his lips like they’d been rehearsed a thousand times. His voice sounded so sorrowful that it startled James in to glancing over at the young man, taking in his eyes that had gone glassy and distant for a moment. It was then that James remembered something about Q, something that James had never dared bring up before.

“How did your master die?” he asked, voice hoarse from lack of use.

Q didn’t jolt or even twitch at the personal question. Perhaps he’d been expecting it.

He didn’t respond right away, but James could sense that it wasn’t because Q refused to answer. He could see the way Q’s aura flickered along with whatever memories were playing across his mind as he sought the words to describe what James had asked. For years James and their friends had never dared to breach the subject of what had happened on that mission that Master Boothroyd never returned from. Eve probably knew more than most of them, seeing as she was far closer to Q at that point, but she never gave away what she knew or didn’t know.

Slowly Q’s hand drifted over to rub at the top of E3s head, a comforting habit that Q had developed, evident by the worn paint at the top of its dome. His fingers gently ran in circles as he gathered his words.

“He was killed by a Sith while we were on a peaceful mission.”

He said it so simply that James’ reaction was a bit delayed, the soft tones against the bombshell of a revelation clashing enough to confuse him for a few moments. He had a thousand follow up questions he wanted to ask but had no clue how to do so gently. This wasn’t a moment for James to take advantage of Q’s tragic history, it was being shared with James so that he could hear from another who lost their master too soon.

James sucked in a breath and let it out in a harsh blow, “And…what happened to you?” he chose to ask instead.

Q’s fingers started to rub faster against E3, a sad frown appearing on his red lips as he chewed on them, “I was still quite young, just about to start my Knight trials the next cycle, when it happened. You remember how young I looked for my age, probably part of the reason he mostly left me in the dirt unnoticed. We’d both been fighting the Sith, and my master while quite talented was still very old. It was impressive enough that he lasted as long as he did in that fight. I had been injured to the point where I could do no more than lay there helplessly as my master faced off with him,” he said, his voice going distant. James could imagine that Q’s mind was currently on another planet, years ago, with the sounds of saber against saber, the smell of ozone and blood everywhere, the feeling that the end may be near. Q swallowed hard, “Eventually the Sith got the upper hand, and after Master Boothroyd fell, he walked over to where I was…”he trailed off and James wondered if he’d be able to continue.

Gently, James placed his hand on top of Q’s, stilling his fingers.

Q jumped a bit, coming back to the present and looking over at James with sad eyes.

“He let you live,” James said.

Q nodded, shame clouding his features, as he looked away “Not intentionally. I had been working on a new lightsaber prototype, one that could shoot a small bit of plasma out like a projectile. Anyway, I shot him in the face with it. He became a bit distracted tending to his melting face to pay me enough mind as I practically crawled my way back to our landspeeder, dragging along the body of my master, and then flew us away.”

James’ brow rose, “Q, that’s incredible though.”

Q scowled at him, “My master died protecting me, James. The fact that I earned my Knighthood through that mission was more insult to injury.”

“But—”

“I’m not telling you this because I want to share my nightmares about Sith, James. I’m telling you this because you obviously need to know that there is still life ad hope after losing your master,” Q scolded gently.

James sat back, chastised. He knew as much. This time his own fingers were the ones tracing comfort out on Q’s hand, “Afterwards…how did you handle it?”

Q snorted, “Abysmally, or so I thought. I was a mess of sorrow, grief, guilt, anger, self-loathing. Everything that a jedi should not indulge in, but there I was. And it was Master Mallory that eventually came and told me that it was okay to feel so long as I did not act.”

“You mean seek out revenge.”

Q’s eyes squinted in the darkness as he thought, “I don’t think I did ever think about revenge against the Sith. I did have some self-destructive thoughts though. Pretty much the same thing. I gave myself time though, and eventually I learned to forgive myself,” he said before turning his inquisitive gaze on to James, “Are you having thoughts of revenge, James?”

“I’m not sure. If I had a target, maybe I would be,” he admitted, wondering at what point Q would give him up as a lost cause to the dark side.

Q hardly batted an eye though, “Right now the Council is nearly overwhelmed with electing a new Head, finding the next steps in pursuit of the investigations, determining if they believed if any more of their enemies would attempt to do harm in their moment of vulnerability, mourning for their leader, and how to continue on with their lives without giving in to grief. Everyone is lost right now James, that’s what I meant by saying you aren’t alone in all this.”

Part of James understood that, and was grateful, but most of him still felt isolated in a way he never wanted to reveal. M was the one who knew he best, and by that James always had small bit of assurance that if she felt that he was worthy of his place in the Order, then he belonged. Now though, he’d lost his gage.

“I never understood why she chose me as a padawan,” he confessed suddenly.

Q snorted next to him, moving over the last inch until they were flush against each other, “She had chosen you as her padawan the moment she collected you from that dust pit of a planet. Just because she waited nine cycles to inform you of that changes nothing.”

James grunted, “Perhaps, but I meant…”

“You meant why did she put her faith in someone who had already been touched by darkness? Already tainted by the time you were brought to the Temple.”

James froze, but Q did not pull away from him as the Knight all but confirmed the inquiry with his tension.

Q slouched down until his head of curls rested on James shoulder, “We all end up being touched by darkness, James. Whether the Council likes it or not. You just happened to experience it earlier than most. Do you think I came out of that mission just as innocent as before? I’m still haunted by it to the point where I don’t speak of it unless forced to. It’s not our jobs to be pure as freshly fallen snow. It’s our jobs to control ourselves so that we may serve the Force without influence from the darkness within us. As jedi it’s in our best interest to not let pain and sorrow consume our souls in shadow.”

It made sense, he supposed. They never said as much in his days as an initiate, but M had never scolded him for his less controlled moments, merely told him to do better. He wasn’t doing better though. He could feel the darkness hovering like his own shadow following his every step. He didn’t mention it to Q though, as he gently wrapped an arm around the slender man’s shoulder to pull him in closer. It may look like James offering comfort to Q, but in reality, James just wanted him closer to chase away more of the chill in his bones.

“Who’s going to replace her?” James choked out.

Q hummed thoughtfully, “There were some talks of Kenobi or Tanner, but ultimately I believe the majority would like to have Mallory step in. He was her second for years after all. We were given the evening to think it over before the final vote in the morning.”

It stung to think of anyone besides his Master at the head of the Order, but if it had to be anyone, he could begrudgingly admit that Mallory was a good replacement. Levelheaded, knowledgeable in politics, and with just enough flexibility with the rules that James felt safe in assuming he’d still have a job after his next mission undoubtedly would go a bit off script. It helped ease a small bit of the tension around his heart.

“I don’t remember the Temple ever feeling this morose before. I don’t like it at all. Feels like I’m choking on the very air around us” Q muttered softly.

James agreed completely. The Order had lost masters before, but two so close together and so violently was no doubt causing a stir in everyone. He was almost certain that the nursery on the lower levels would be full of distraught Force sensitive younglings, wondering why their happy home suddenly felt cold and desolate. Perhaps Q was right, they were all exposed to darkness in one way or another.

“How about a distraction?” James offered.

Q shifted in his arms to glare up at him, “James,” he scolded.

“Nothing like that, you dirty minded little thing. I meant why don’t you work on one of your projects. It always serves to distract you.”

Q’s glare continued, “Yes, that works wonder for me, but I feel that you are in need of more distraction than me. You…you just lost someone very dear,” he finished softly.

“Then distract me,” James said before he could even stop himself. This wasn’t his plan. He was supposed to sit here in the dark feeling sorry for himself until he gave up and went to find a bar out in the city. He didn’t account for this.

But Q was already extricating himself from James, standing up and holding a hand out to urge the Knight on to his unsteady feet. James let himself be led across the room, the lights slowly turning on around them as E3 lit their way. They didn’t go far, just to the other side of the room where M’s old ship stood.

“Alec and Eve went back for that part for me. I can finally give you that engine upgrade you’ve been harping about,” Q said as he rolled up the loose sleeves of his tunic. He turned to James with a single brow raised, “Care to help?”

* * *

Hours passed and the two of them were still elbows deep in the engine, grease and grime covering all exposed skin and making James feel dirtier than he could ever recall.

He loved it.

It felt good to do something constructive when it felt like his whole world was crumbling around him. His arms ached like they did after a good workout; his mind was occupied absorbing everything that Q was teaching him about the working bits of his ship. His ship alone now. Even though his breathing was slightly labored due to Q making him move the heavier parts, it was the easiest he had been able to breathe since he first felt the bond break.

Working in close quarters with Q, their hands and arms constantly bumping into one another, also served to remind him that he wasn’t alone. There was still life around him, he hadn’t lost everything. The shadow that he had been worried would finally consume him had abated, like a small candle had been lit again. A small flicker of warmth returned with it.

James felt his heart unclench and the memories of his master that he was already in the process of hiding in the recess of his mind were released once more since he wasn’t as afraid of the pain they would bring.

He smiled sadly at the thought of the ceramic canine he’d presented to his master the last time he would ever see her. It never got to have its place on her shelves. Perhaps he’d put it on his own. Or maybe he’d sneak it on to one of Q’s and see how long it took him to notice it among his hundreds of plants.

James chuckled, a sound that startled Q a bit but he wisely said nothing as he returned his attention to the loose nut he was tightening.

“Q…why do you suppose she kept all of those horrendous gifts I kept bringing her?” he asked.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught Q smiling sadly into the distance, “I never asked her myself, but I’m reasonably sure I know the answer.”

James paused, swallowing hard, “And?”

Q glanced up at him, “Because even the things that everyone rejects at first glance deserve to be given a chance, to be loved and to be given a home,” he said simply, “And I think she had that philosophy for a very long time now.”

James drew in a shaky breath as he nodded once sharply, and then he went back to work.


	6. Burning

The following weeks were a mess of highs and lows for James. One moment he’d be contently sitting in Q’s lab, fiddling with a broken gasket, and then the next he’d have already thrown the gasket across the room as he watched it shatter against the wall. He’d never felt so out of control in his life. Every moment he was ready for when the Council would finally have him escorted out of the Temple and exiled on some remote planet. Surely, they would pick up on his disastrous emotions eventually.

He half expected that the real reason that Q was keeping James by his side in all things beyond Council meetings was because he too was worried what James would do if left to his own devices. Upon inquiry though, Q would only shrug his shoulders and say that he enjoyed having James’ company for more than a single day at a time before being shipped off on another mission. James had to admit he was also enjoying the extra time he was getting with the brilliant master, but he didn’t like that Q was seeing him at his worst. So, he tried to make himself useful in the labs. Testing gadgets and taking a few ships out for trial runs. It made Q smile brilliantly whenever something ended up working as planned, releasing hoards of butterflies in his belly, so James kept at it.

A few times, when things had gotten bad and Q wasn’t available, Alec had taken him off for some drinks at a nearby bar. Of course, they had to disguise themselves to the public, but it was still freeing to be out of that stifling Temple that wreaked of harried jedi and anxious younglings. Mallory had indeed been named the new Head of the High Council, and while it was a comfort to have a figure head once again, there were still no answers in regard to who was targeting jedi and why. They couldn’t halt the workings of the Order forever though, and word started to leak out that missions would be doled out again in the coming days. They would no doubt take precautions in who would be chosen to leave the safety of the temple, and to where they would go, but they couldn’t shelter the rest of the jedi forever.

Only, James was becoming more confident that it wasn’t just ordinary jedi being targeted. No. There were hundreds of jedi all around the galaxy that were easy to track and easier to eliminate than the awe-inspiring skilled members of the High Council masters. And yet, only two jedi had been attacked and killed thus far, and both had been Council Members.

The thought that Q was among those potentially targeted made him tense up, his hands clenching around the screwdriver in his hand.

“Careful, James! You’re losing control again,” Q scolded gently as he pulled a glowing glass bulb from the air to gently set it back on the table, “The Plasma lab is hardly the place to go tossing things around.”

It was only then that James noticed that he’d levitated half the contents of the table before him, his thoughts having triggered the force within him to act on unsuspecting objects around himself. He groaned internally and carefully lowered the various flying bits back on to the workstation.

“Apologies,” he grumbled, not sure what excuse he could come up with that Q would ever believe. He gloomily glanced out the window as a ship zoomed past, wondering when he would get to fly again.

Q sighed, carefully picking up the plasma crystal container he’d just saved, “It’s fine. Just try to not let yourself drift in thought for a while longer until you’ve had more time to recover. And never again in the Plasma lab ever. If any one of these falls to the ground and shatters, we’d be looking at a blazing inferno in seconds. Or not looking because our eyes have already melted from our skulls,” he remarked dryly. 

James watched as Q gently placed the crystal into the special crystal storage shelves that lined the walls of the lab. For the last several hours he and Q had been making several new practice lightsabers for the initiates, James handling the bulkier parts of the assembly while Q took on the skilled and practiced parts. Namely, working with the actual crystals. He wouldn’t let James touch those.

“I’ll just load those into the sabers next time your off on your own, I suppose,” Q mused as he sat back down at their shared table. Below them, BR-E3 seemed to be humming and whistling to itself happily as it rolled in and out from between their legs.

James grimaced as he nodded, agreeing completely with Q’s decision. Just as he was about to suggest the two of them find something to eat, James’ comm link chirped in his pocket.

He frowned as he pulled it out, “Bond,” he replied simply.

_“Knight Bond, your presence is requested in the briefing room. Masters Mallory and Tanner have a mission for you. Please join them presently.”_

James grunted out an affirmative before stuffing his link back into his pocket, standing up to retrieve his cloak.

Now Q frowned as he watched him dress, “Oh, I thought they were going to give…you more time,” he said stiltingly, “Do you think you’re ready?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I’ve been here too long as it is. I can do more good out there than I ever could in here.” 

James could feel disappointment sour Q’s aura, and if he were being honest with himself, he could feel his own reflecting the same. Despite the circumstances of James’ prolonged presence at the Temple, he truly had been grateful to have those spare moments to spend with Q. It was probably the longest the two of them had ever had consecutively together. He loathed to have to leave again, especially seeing the way Q’s gentle smile had faded back into indifference, but the temptation of the distraction that only a mission could provide was quickly becoming a siren’s call.

James wrapped his cloak around himself, ready to go, but paused as he was just about to pass Q for the door.

“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered softly as he lifted Q’s downturned chin up to meet his gaze.

“And I, you,” Q whispered back, “May the force be with you.”

James was unable to stop himself from giving Q one long and passionate parting kiss, grateful that no one else was in the lab besides Berry who was making chortling noises from under the table. He could taste the regret on both their tongues as he pulled away slowly so he could rest his forehead against Q’s for a brief moment.

“And also with you,” he replied, the words ghosting over Q’s face, ruffling the smallest curls on his temple.

Once James had stepped out of the lab, Q swallowed down the wave of longing that crashed over him and got back to work. Those crystals wouldn’t set themselves after all.

* * *

“Ah good, Knight Bond, welcome,” Mallory greeted. While he had stepped in as their new leader recently, he had done so with grace enough that James didn’t feel the need to be bitter because this man was trying to replace someone who he believed irreplaceable. Master Mallory carried a deep and genuine sorrow over the loss of their esteemed peer, and for that James was grateful and felt comfortable as he approached him and Tanner.

Both of the Master’s stood in the center of the briefing room, gathered around the hologram projector that would offer mission details. Normal. Routine. This is what James knew, and he expected the familiarity to unburden him from the itch he’d been feeling, but it persisted. He fought down the urge to growl. Perhaps it would go away once he was off world.

Gracefully, James moved over to join Tanner and Mallory around the projector, carrying an air of indifference that he’d been practicing for years.

“Before we begin, Bond, I wanted to ask something first,” Mallory said calmly.

James nodded, “You want to ask me if I think I’m ready for this,” he stated boldly, “To which I say that I am here, am I not?”

Tanner chuckled, ducking his head to hide the grin that followed.

Mallory sighed, but ducked his head in acquiescence, “All right, let’s get started then. This mission will be brief. While it isn’t exactly time-sensitive, it does carry a lot of political impact—”

* * *

He was frowning. He knew he was, but he couldn’t bring himself to bring his face back to passivity or even neutrality. It was vexing.

Well, perhaps not all that vexing. He knew many reasons that he felt troubled enough to let his emotions play out visually, he just wished that he was better at concealment. Or that those reasons would reach a satisfying resolution.

Q let himself heave a deep sigh as he puttered around the Plasma Lab, carefully placing crystals into their rightful places, tinkering with some half-finished project he had lying about. He knew he was fidgeting, something hardly befitting a master, let alone one in the High Council, but he knew he was alone in the lab and let himself indulge in his fretting.

Mallory and Tanner were responsible leaders, and Q knew that they would never give James a mission that they did not believe he could complete, but he couldn’t help but wonder if James had truly recovered himself enough to keep his emotions in check. Q knew he wasn’t supposed to, but he worried for James when he was away, and that was before the loss of Master M. Now Q had to wonder if James would be able to keep himself safe out there alone.

Thinking back to that horrible night when he found James cold and alone in his tinkering bay, Q couldn’t help but wonder if left on his own James would draw in on himself again, hiding away in the shadows that Q knew he feared. That night Q had kept his thoughts to himself. He had worried that this would break whatever it was that James kept dammed up in himself all these years. When he had been brought by E3 to James side, he had a cold grip around his heart as he imagined what he might find tucked away in the dark corner of the bay. Something dark was holding on to his dearest friend, and Q feared for him.

BR-E3s soft whistle brought Q’s attention back to the present. Q smiled down at his droid, lightly patting its blue dome, “Just a few more minutes and then we’ll go see if we can find Eve for some food, yeah?”

The droid gave a half-hearted tweet before starting on another lap around the lab to entertain itself. Q made a mental note to check E3s human empathy code. Perhaps he’d made it a bit too responsive if his normally rambunctious droid was seemingly as morose as the rest of the Temple.

Q sighed again, turning away from the shelves that housed the crystals as he moved back to the table to clean up his and James project. There was a small burning feeling at the back of his skull, one he normally associated with the Force trying to warn him of something. But then again, perhaps he was just overreacting to James' impending departure.

* * *

Outside the Temple, a dart ship hovered in the recesses of the buildings that surrounded the home of the jedi. A set of electrobinoculars was pointed at the window that looked in on the Plasma Lab, the gaze flitting from the crystals on the shelve to the young humanoid male that walked around the tables and then back again.

A gloved hand was lifted into the air.

Slowly, a single crystal began to levitate off the shelf and drift through the air. The young man appeared oblivious, seemingly distracted by his own thoughts. 

Careless.

A soft chuckled was heard inside the ship, and then the hand dropped.

And the crystal dropped with it.

* * *

Tanner was still droning on about the political atmosphere that would taint his upcoming mission when the itch that James had been feeling started to burn like a beacon through his entire being. It hit so suddenly that his breath was stolen from his lungs, his eyes widening in shock at the sudden rush of _wrong_ that enveloped him. It was like the market all over again, but this time even stronger.

James felt himself to shake all over as it began to feel like the Force was screaming at him loud enough to make his ears bleed. Something was wrong. What could be so wrong that he felt like he was already dying? The screaming turned to a deathly roar, like the blaze of an uncontrolled fire.

He felt a horrifying lurch in his heart, like it was being pulled from his chest while still vainly trying to continue beating. It felt like he was being pulled along…where though?

And just like that, the burning turned to a frigid ice as he realized where the pull was coming from. The Force was telling him to go back to…

Both Masters sensed the change in the Knight immediately and frowned at the sudden dread that poured off of Bond.

“Bond? What’s wr—”

But Bond was already sprinting from the room, leaving behind two confused Masters.

They didn’t even get a chance to wonder where Bond had gone before they felt a jolting vibration through the floor as somewhere in the Temple, something exploded.

* * *

It didn’t matter that James was one floor and several hallways away from where the explosion came from, he was still the first to arrive at the closed door to the Plasma lab, the heat already emanating out through the metal. He slammed his hand down on the door panel, cursing loudly when the mechanism refused to work. It was undoubtedly damaged from within the room, the thought of how catastrophic the blast must have been to cause that kind of damage made the blood freeze in his veins.

He knew without a doubt that Q was still in there. The Force was still screeching in his ears like a banshee sensing death's approach. A bright flash of blue erupted from his hand before he even realized he’d pulled his lightsaber out. With a cry, he dove the weapon into the door as he began to carve himself a way in, a way to find Q. However, the doors in the Temple were all high-quality alloys that were designed against this very purpose. It would eventually work, but it would take too damn long, and the only person in the damned Temple who knew how to override faulty mechanics was stuck inside what was most likely a blazing inferno.

“Come on, come on, come on,” James grunted out desperately, willing his saber to work just a little bit faster, but he wasn’t even a quarter of the way done. At this rate, Q would have either suffocated or burned to death before he even managed to get through, if the initial blast hadn’t killed him first. The metal where his blade cut was becoming a molten yellow as it slowly oozed away.

James huffed out an unsteady breath, “Please. Not him too. Never him…”

“James?!”

James eyes flashed to his right to where Alec was running up to him, Mallory and Tanner not far behind. All three of them looked anxious, far more anxious than any jedi had a right to be. It made James ache to think of just how vulnerable his people had become recently.

“Alec! Please! Q’s inside!” he cried out, watching as Alec’s eyes grew wide and his jaw clench as he swiped out his own green saber to plunge into the door beside James’. Soon, another blue light appeared opposite them as Mallory’s steady hands worked alongside them. Behind him, James could hear Tanner giving orders over the comms, calling for help, calling for medics, calling for calm that no one felt. Their home had been violated and one of their own was either dead or dying.

“Tanner, tell them to bring a transport tank for him!” Alec called out, “His non-human biology is especially susceptible to fire, he’s going to need it.”

He was right, and it made James all the more desperate to get through the damned door. It would be twice as hard to Q to survive with the fire pulling all the oxygen and water from the air, his body would shut down quickly and be that much harder to revive under that kind of damage. He felt his desperation start to choke him as if a rope had been placed around his neck.

“Bond,” Mallory’s voice floated calmly into the roaring in his ears, “Q’s strong. He’ll hold out as long as he has to,” he said.

James nodded absently, wanting to believe there was still enough time. There had to be enough time. They couldn’t be too late.

“Almost there!” Alec shouted. The large golden ring of molten metal was almost complete.

“Bond, Trevelyan, you two are the only ones I’ll allow in. We can’t risk any more lives,” Mallory said.

James wanted to snarl back at him for withholding resources to save Q, but a stern look from Alec he shut his mouth. There had been too many lives lost recently, Mallory was right.

Finally, the ring was complete. The four jedi stood together and raised a hand each, syncing together with one another and pulsing one powerful blast of the Force to break away the center, leaving a blazing hold staring back at them.

It looked like they were looking through a window into a star, the room seemingly glowing yellow and white as the fire inside raged. The heat blasted back at them, no longer hindered by the door, and with the newfound source of oxygen, flames started to dance wildly before them.

James didn’t wait, he gathered the Force around him like a blanket and stepped forward, letting it push back the flames like a blast shield. He felt another pulse of Force beside him as Alec too walked into the blaze. They wouldn’t be able to last long in here, holding the Force like this was exhausting on its own. That paired with the lack of oxygen and the critical amount of heat they would only have minutes before it would be too much.

The lab looked nothing like it had a mere hour ago. The blast had thrown tables and equipment everywhere, making it hard to discern where Q may have landed.

James didn’t care about the quickly lessening amounts of flameless floor, he was ready to dive into whatever stood between himself and Q if that was what it took. And by what he felt rolling off of Alec beside him, he would do the same.

It was so loud in there that James almost ran right into Berry who was frantically trilling at the two of them. Its little lens was cracked, and its paint was beginning to chip off from the heat, but otherwise it looked fine.

“Berry, where is he?” James bellowed, bending low to see the distraught little droid as it wiggled back and forth until it was sure it had the jedi’s attention.

Once it caught their attention, Berry whirled around and tore off in a different direction. James and Alec followed. The heat was becoming too much, but James ignored the stinging in his eyes as sweat and smoke poured into them. He could feel a growing tackiness in each of his steps as they continued on. His boots were beginning to melt.

A loud crash erupted next to them as part of a wall started to cave in, sending flashes of sparks over them. James felt the Force around him flicker and weaken, a few of the sparks landing on his skin and biting him with burns. Next to him he heard Alec let out a hiss as a few made contact with his scales. They wouldn’t have much longer in here. James would not dare leave until he found Q though. He’d send away Alec before he put himself in any more danger, he promised himself.

Carefully, the two jedi moved deeper into the lab, having to step around various tables and benches that Berry was able to simply roll under. They almost lost sight of Berry as it ducked behind an overturned table, but James then caught sight of familiar brightly colored robes bunched on the floor.

“Q!” he shouted, flinging himself forward, regardless of the flames licking at his legs.

James dropped down heavily next to the prone form of Q, his watering eyes trying to identify any damage he could while drinking in the sight of the man like crystal waters. He lifted one trembling hand to gently cup the side of Q’s slackened face and dirtied, noting the various cuts that were sluggishly leaking out green blood. His lips were already cracked open from the dryness, bleeding green and James cursed the sight of them being anything other than their normal plumpness. James had seen far too many lives lost to various explosions in his life, and he had been fearing the worst when he found Q, but there didn’t seem to be as much visual damage as he thought. Still, some wounds didn’t rise above the skin. He’d seem internal bleeding take many lives of those who appeared to be fine. He let his fingers drop down further along that long and beautiful neck he loved to leave peppering kisses along in the morning. Gently he pressed his fingers deeper into the flesh as he felt Alec reach down to grab onto one of Q’s shoulders, squeezing as if to reassure him that they really had found him.

“He’s still alive,” James gasped out, emotions far too strong to carry a single name overwhelmed him to where he was no longer sure that the tears in his eyes were merely from the fire, “He must have ducked behind the fallen table to survive the blast.”

“Shit let’s get him out of there then. He’s still in rough shape from the fire,” Alec replied, already helping James to scoop him up in the human’s arms.

James held Q’s fragile body tightly against his own, afraid if he didn’t hold on tight enough, he’d disappear. Alec seemed to understand and didn’t offer to take him instead. They wouldn’t have time to argue anyway. The fire was still killing Q at rate that made James’ heart clench. Both of the Knights could feel Q’s life flickering before their eyes, the Force around him weakening.

“Let’s move!” James shouted.

“You too, little one. Q would never forgive us for leaving you behind,” Alec called back to the little droid, the small group venturing back to the exit.

All around them the flames continued to dance and wave, spreading across all the surfaces it liked. James couldn’t believe how loud it all was, like flame was a creature that had a roar like a Bantha. He couldn’t see much, but he thought that perhaps they’d made it halfway back by that point. They would be out of this soon and they could hand Q off to the medics. He’d be fine and calling for his data pad withing a few hours, tutting over the chipped paint on his droid.

The smoke was getting worse though. James could feel it coating the back of his throat, tickling it in a way that no amount of coughing seemed to alleviate. He spared a panicked glance down at Q, wondering how he was faring in the smoke.

But his chest wasn’t moving.

_No. Not him. Never him._

“Alec,” he cried out, “He isn’t breathing!”

He couldn’t see his friend, but he heard the choked reply, “Don’t stop moving! There’s nothing we can do for him in here. We have to get him to the medics.”

James wanted to check for a pulse again, but Alec’s urging kept him moving forward, his precious bundle held tightly in his arms.

_Please, Q. Don’t leave me. Please, I need you. Please…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you have a moment. Would love to hear feedback on this story to see if the series is worth continuing.


	7. Burned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James goes to the council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, comments!!!!! So glad to hear that people are enjoying this fic (especially since I have a couple sequels waiting in the wings along with some other 00Q works I have going on). Here's the next chapter! It's a long chapter too, phew.

“I don’t see how you all can just sit there and act like there isn’t any cause for alarm. Someone is out there killing council members, your peers, and they’re going to keep getting away with it until there’s none left to guide the Order. This isn’t revenge, it’s protecting our _home_ and our people. Who’s going to keep the galaxy in balance when there are no jedi left?”

James stared down at each member that sat before him, his gaze only faltering as it passed over three empty, solemn chairs that should have still been occupied. But they weren’t. And James did not understand why this was happening, nor why the Masters seemed more concerned with saving face than finding out who was systematically killing them off.

“You must understand, Bond, we want to stop the killing and protect ourselves, but we cannot go pointing fingers when we have no clue as to who it is that has targeted us. Jedi are not meant to give into paranoia, nor fear. We must calmly complete our investigation to determine if this was an accid—”

“You know damn well that this wasn’t an accident,” James almost hissed at Master Tiin, only in the last second reining in his emotions so as not to appear as unhinged as he felt. Leave your emotions at the door, that had been Eve’s advice before he had entered this room. It was contradictory advice, seeing as she gave it while holding unshed tears in her eyes. James himself hadn’t found time to shed tears yet, but he could feel the pressure. That hot weight in his chest that begged for release.

Mallory’s sigh carried over the room, but it was one of weariness rather than frustration, “Bond…We all know that Q took great efforts in keeping the labs safe and secure, but accidents do happen. From what our people say, it looks as if a crystal merely fell to the floor. There was no bomb, or any other interference. Scans from the door sensors, that Q himself created and installed I will remind you, show that no one else entered the lab after you left. He was alone. Now,” he raised a hand when James was about to interrupt, “I’m not saying that we’ve reached the conclusion that it was an accident. I’m aware there is an alarming pattern that is forming, and I will not be so quick to dismiss it. We still need to follow protocol, and not go around accusing our enemies who have been rather quiet as of late. Why poke a sleeping Bantha without proof?”

There was logic in his words. They would be the same words that Q would be saying if he were sitting in that room, his expression would have been soft and understanding, effectively calming the ire in James blood. But he wasn’t there.

“So, you want us to just sit tight until the next attack? That’s it?” James asked, his voice carefully level.

Mallory sighed again, but this time it wasn’t with anything other than sympathy, “We will continue our investigations of all three attacks, looking for evidence. And our jedi in the field have their ears to the ground for any rumors or information. Besides that, yes. I want you to sit tight in the meantime. There are certain individuals who need you as a friend right now. Perhaps it’s time you went to them.”

* * *

James’ feet carried him where his heart could not. Down a long hallway that he loathed to walk down on any day. Now it was even more revolting to enter.

It had been three days since the explosion in the lab, and James hadn’t slept for a wink of them. Jedi stamina was extensive, but he was running on the bare molecules of fumes by now. Still, he couldn’t go back to his empty rooms. They were too bare. Too cold. And neither could he bear to go into Q’s apartment. Not when it still smelled of him, but he would be nowhere to be found. Too many memories. Too much lingering energy that felt like only a mere shadow of him.

No. Walking into that apartment would be far too painful right now, even if the memories of him holding Q there were far more favorable to the one that his brain held starkly at the forefront of his mind for the last three days.

_“He’s not breathing, help him, please!”_

_“We’re trying, you have to let go of him first. We need to get a tube down his throat.”_

_He felt so small in his arms, so fragile, flicking lifeforce like a dying candle. Nothing like the brilliant creature that shone so brightly with the force, his mind stronger than any weapon James had encountered in his lifetime. James could see his already pale skin start to turn grey, pulling taught against the bones in his face as the effects of the fire continued to wreak havoc on his body._

_“Please, you have to save him.”_

_“He’s intubated. Get him into the bacta tank, hurry! Those burns are getting worse.”_

_He felt them pull Q from his arms, watching as the tank splashed as his body was dumped inside. The murky depths of the tank made him look even worse, his lifeless body floating listlessly as they placed the breathing mask over his face. James wasn’t even sure if they had been able to get him breathing again. They just wanted his body to stop shriveling away as all the water in his body had gone with the heat._

_Then they were rolling him down the hall, away from James who was still sitting on the floor. That’s when he heard them call out that his heart had stopped. They were already turning the corner and entering the lift before James even had a chance to stand up._

_“Q!”_

James shuddered at the memory, no less painful even after seeing it play through his mind hundreds of times in the last few days. Hours had passed after Q had been taken away before they had heard any news on his condition.

_Mallory had insisted the he and Alec be checked over in the medical ward after spending so long in the inferno. Numbly, the two of them did so, but only after Eve had shown up and solemnly dragged them there. No words were spoken between the three of them as the medical jedi treated their various burns and gave them oxygen masks to hold to their faces that both of the men ignored. None of them knew what to say. Like their hearts were too heavy to rise up in hope. Their tongues too timid to speak things that would be too painful to hear._

_Eve stood before the two of them after treatment had been completed, gently taking one of each of their hands in her own, squeezing gently._

_“I’m glad you’re both safe,” she chose to say eventually._

_James didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t. He sat in silence, so numb he barely noticed the passing of the hours save for the growing unease in his two friends that waited by his side for news. It was no secret that they three of them were the closest to Q, after all. Someone would come eventually to tell them what had happened._

_When someone did come, James’ heart lurched hard against his sternum at seeing Mallory and the head medical jedi walking over to them, grim faced and tired expressions on the two of them. He felt the blood in his veins freeze, and he almost didn’t even register Alec’s strong grip on his shoulder. It was the only thing that kept James grounded to reality as the two older jedi approached._

_“Is he—” James choked out, his voice unused and brutalized by the flame still lingering in his throat._

_“He yet lives, but he remains in critical condition. He will need a few days in the tank to allow his skin and organs to heal enough to where he can survive on his own without medical support. After that, we’ll have to see if there are any lingering damages and then we’ll address those if possible,” she reported calmly._

_James nearly fell over with relief._

_“He’s very lucky, Bond. She told me that if it had been merely a minute or two later then he wouldn’t have stood a chance. You sensing him in danger before the explosion even occurred saved his life, giving us precious minutes back for knowing where he was and working on the door before we even arrived. For that you have all our thanks,” Mallory said, offering James and Alec a brief bow to respectfully offer his own gratitude._

_James didn’t care about their gratitude. It should never have happened in the first place, but…Q was alive._

James had only stopped by medical once more since then. He wasn’t allowed to enter the room that held the tank containing Q, but there was a viewing window that he could step up to and gaze in.

There had been very few missions since the attacks began, so the medical ward had been almost barren from recovering and wounded jedi. The tank room had been almost empty as well, save for the medical droid that was carefully organizing equipment in the corner and for the one occupied tank that held Q and James' heart.

With the tank now upright, rather than flat like a bed when they had first put him in, it looked all the more eerie to see. Q’s body was just as lifeless as before, but he had looked like a limp puppet on strings with all the tubes that were attached to him all over. His clothes had been removed at some point, only a small modesty belt in place to keep him from being completely naked for all to see. It was the only thing that James had been glad to see in the scene before him.

The murky liquid that surrounded him had distorted his features enough that he was almost unrecognizable. The various burns over his body didn’t help either. James had prayed that they all healed without a scar. Q didn’t deserve to be marked in such a way, he had thought to himself.

Looking at Q in such awful condition did things to James heart that scared him, and he had fled not long after arriving.

Now, here he was again a few days later. Heading down the haunting hallways of the medical ward towards the bacta room, his pace slow, but unyielding. Mallory had been right. It was time to go see him again.

He walked up to the window for the second time, his gaze already moving to where he last saw Q.

Then his stomach dropped to his feet when he saw the tank was empty.

“No…” he whispered, voice broken as he stared at where Q had been, now unoccupied.

“James.”

James whirled around as his name was called, his eyes wide and frightened as he took in Eve who was standing beside him, her eyes sympathetic, “He’s alright James. He was healed enough to be removed from the tank. They just put him in a bed over in the recovery ward. Come. I’ll take you to him.”

* * *

He followed after her. She was moving a bit too slow, but it allowed time for James to tame his heart back into a steady beat. Knowing her, it was probably on purpose for that very reason. They had walked past the public recovery ward, where the walls were lined with beds, and moved them further down the hall to where the private rooms were located. Finally, she stopped at one, turning to eye him up and down.

“He still hasn’t woken up, but they said it shouldn’t be more than a day before he does. He’ll want you to be there when he does,” she said, the hint about as subtle as a blaster cannon.

James nodded, already prepared to never leave his side again if it meant keeping him safe, “And did they say anything about lasting damage?”

She shrugged, her eyes falling to the floor, “Not yet. They want him to wake up and have some more time to recover before they start giving him a bunch of tests. Their main concern is his lungs, but they know nothing for sure. So, we’ll see. Now, no more stalling. It’s time, James.”

She didn’t wait for him to answer before she slid the door open and walked in.

Quietly she took a seat in a chair beside Alec who was already in the room and whispering to a lump of blankets on the bed. His head blocked James sight line, but he knew who was under those sheets. Slowly, he began to make his way into the room, allowing Q to come into his line of sight.

Q had never been a physically imposing creature, always leaning more towards appearing fragile, delicate, but now as he lay in the bed among the white sheets and pillows, he looked so small. Like the blankets would drown him if not for his head poking out. James swallowed hard, finally taking the last seat on the other side of the bed from his friends.

He looked alright though. No gaping wounds, or even a hint of a scar on his face that James could see. His cheeks weren’t even sunken in anymore. If he squinted past the paleness and dark marks under his eyes, Q could almost look like he had the many mornings that James had woken up with Q still sleeping at his side. Still covered from neck down, James wasn’t able to guess at what the rest of his injuries looked like now, but perhaps that was as much a mercy as it was a torture.

“James has joined us now, Little One. He’s been busy telling off the Council. Probably got himself put on the bad boys list for the next five solar cycles,” Alec reported to the silent form on the bed.

James gave him a half-hearted glare over the bed, “You know he hates being called that.”

Alec grinned back, his eyes twinkling, “If he hates it so much then he can wake up and tell me off himself.”

“He’s more likely to sleep longer just to spite you, petty little thing he is.”

“Honestly, the lot of you,” Eve murmured under her breath as she flattened out invisible wrinkles from the sheets that swathed Q, “He’ll wake when he’s ready.”

A sad whistle came from under the bed as BR-E3 slowly emerged.

Eve graced it was a sad smile, patting it’s blue dome of a head, “I promise he’ll wake up soon. Your master will want to make sure you’re alright, I’m sure. Will probably be asking for a screwdriver within minutes of waking up to check up on you.”

Its only response were more low tones as it rolled slowly over to where James sat, burying itself in his robes like it tended to do with its normal master. James didn’t mind it doing so, but it did send a pang through his chest as he thought about what Berry would have been like had Q not survived. James had never had a personal droid himself, and he liked Berry enough. Though it would just be a painful daily reminder of who was missing had it just been the two of them left.

“Dare I ask what the Council said?” Alec prodded darkly, as if he had already heard.

James let his shoulders drop in defeat, “They said exactly what they were supposed to say. So, we get to just sit here on our arses like good little jedi.”

Alec grunted in response, probably because if he had to speak words, they would have been highly inappropriate. Eve too looked like she wanted to say something un-jedi like, but she was carefully biting her tongue as she distracted herself this time with smoothing out Q’s hair.

Alec snarled again, his species influence making it sound far more intimidating than anything James or any other human could manage, and he stood up out of his chair as he impatiently started to pace the room.

“They really think Q, _our_ Q _,_ would manage to blow himself up like that? He scolds us for walking too quickly in the halls, or not chewing our food enough before swallowing. A few months ago, he chewed me out for behaving recklessly because I forgot to buckle my safety belt in one of his prototype ships. He’s like a walking safety manual,” he said, waving his clawed hands around for emphasis.

Eve rolled her eyes, “You don’t have to tell us. We know he wouldn’t have caused it.”

“Well no one else seems to think so! Now we’ve got Q bedridden and wounded, an entire lab destroyed in our own home, someone out there killing Masters, and no one seems to want to do a damned thing about it,” James shot back.

“I would like to do something about it.”

Three pairs of eyes fell onto the body of their friend, watching as his eyes slowly peeled open.

“Q,” James breathed out, his entire body leaning forward as if drawn there by gravitational pull. Gently he drew his thumb over Q’s cheek, ignoring the mist that seemed to fall over his own eyes.

Tired green eyes looked up at him, a small smile playing on his lips, “Hello, James.”

“How are you feeling, Little One?” Alec asked, standing at the foot of his bed.

“Groggy. A bit confused. A lot impatient,” he said as his eyes threatened to flutter shut again, “And don’t call me that.”

Alec grinned, reaching down to squeeze one of Q’s feet affectionately.

“What do you remember?” Eve asked gently.

A shadow seemed to fall over his face for a moment, his lips thinning, and a small wrinkle formed between his eyes, “I remember feeling something bad was coming, and then ducking behind a table just as something exploded behind me. I…I remember waking for a moment in a bacta tank and hearing someone talking about an accident, I assume that was me…and just now I heard you all talking about a third attack on a Master. Who was it? Are they alright? I meant what I said when I woke, I would like to help if I can.”

James cleared his throat, reaching under the sheets to carefully grab onto one of Q’s hands, pleased to see that it was unmarred as well, “From what the evidence shows, the explosion was caused by a single plasma crystal falling to the ground. There is absolutely nothing to indicate a bomb, environmental control tampering…nothing. The Council has labeled the explosion as an accident at the moment since there is no evidence to the contrary, but we don’t believe it. We think that the explosion was another attempt on a Council member’s life. Yours.”

Q paled, and James feared he may pass out on them again, but he seemed to pull himself together after a few moments.

“But how would…and _why_?” he gasped out, his eyes darting between his three friends.

Eve looked at him sadly, “We don’t know how yet. And as to why, we have a few guesses, but none proven.”

“Politics, hitmen being hired to eliminate certain Council members so new laws can be more easily passes or so that certain jedi of favor will rise into the ranks. Strategic enemy hits, trying to shake us by eliminating our leaders…” Alec shrugged, “The list goes on. Jedi are almost as equally hated as they are loved in some places.”

Q frowned, “If we knew how they had been doing it, we could narrow down the possibilities.”

“But none of the attacks have been the same, save for the fiery end. Not to be indelicate about it,” Alec said, casting an apologetic grin over at Q.

James nodded in agreement, “First one was coding that created an explosion. The second was—”

“Was caused by a bomb hidden in the room,” Q supplied, all of them pausing a moment to think on James’ departed Master.

“But the third…What happened? Nobody was shown entering the room, Q. You were alone in there. We don’t even have cameras in that room to look in on, but your door scan can’t be bypassed, right?” James asked, gently squeezing Q’s hand.

Q’s frown deepened as he stared off into nothing, seemingly looking to find the answer dancing before his eyes in the air, “No, they can’t, but—” his eyes shot open wide as he gasped, “Wait, E3, where is it? Is it alright? The fire didn’t hurt it, right?” he cried out, suddenly forcing his weakened body to struggle against the blankets as he tried to climb out of the bed. He started coughing harshly, his still damaged lungs protesting the sudden excitement. Each hack and anxious cry tugged at their hearts. Both Alec and James leapt forward to try and gentle him back to calmness, doing their best not to aggravate his still sensitive and healing skin as Eve hushed him softly.

“Shh, Darling, E3 is fine! He guided James and Alec through the fire to find you and followed them out on his own. Please, lay back down,” Eve begged, watching the screens on the wall for any alarming stats from his steal healing organs. His oxygen levels were looking erratic, but not out of control. Yet.

“But where is it?” he cried back, still struggling pitifully against the hands that held him. He coughed again, his small frame wracking with each one.

“Please, calm down, Love. It’s right here, if you hold still, I’ll grab Berry for you,” James begged.

A frantic trill sounded through the room, freezing Q’s struggles as soon as it hit his ears, “E3?” he called out desperately.

James quickly let go of him now that he wasn’t half dangling out of bed and bent down to scoop up the droid, wincing when he forgot just how heavy even a small thing like it could weigh, “Here’s your Berry. Eve did a scan of him right after it got us out of the fire. Its only damage is a cracked lens and some chipped paint,” he said, gently placing the droid between Q’s legs.

Q collapsed back against the pillows like his relief had turned him into a liquid, a small be very relieved smile gracing his face as he held out a shaking hand towards his droid, “There you are. Are you alright?” he asked, swallowing back what was probably another coughing fit.

E3 carefully rolled up closer until the hand could easily rest upon its dome, finally letting out the first happy chirp that James had heard from it in days. In the past, James had always rolled his eyes a bit at those who became emotionally attached to their droids, but that was before Q had created Berry and he had seen the joy shared between master and droid. Like how now James felt his chest tighten with happiness at seeing the two of them reunited, Q rubbing his hand against the worn paint, already murmuring things about how he’d see to getting it fixed as soon as he got his hands on some tools.

James could see Eve smirking off to the side of the bed as she heard him.

E3’s trilling responses continued for a few moments as Q continued to fuss over his beloved droid, but then the chirps and beeps started to grow more desperate as it recounted its own account of the explosion, Q’s brow creasing again in concentration.

“E3…” he began slowly, “I wanted to ask if you had been prompted to review your internal camera for the time of the explosion.”

The little droid chirped twice in the negative.

Q’s lips thinned, “E3, jam the room,” he commanded, eyeing the nurses camera that hung in the corner of the room.

“It has cameras on it?” Alec asked, his gaze already falling onto the droid in his lap, no doubt looking for those hidden cameras.

Q shrugged one shoulder, wincing when it tugged on his tender skin, “I made it possible for E3 to record things, but only in certain rooms or under certain circumstances. Like the programming won’t allow for anything like that in the council chambers due to security reasons. I hadn’t any reason to check if it had been triggered on, but I remember creating adaptive coding that would turn it on if E3 had deemed the temple or Order at risk.”

E3 let out a long stream of complicated beeps and chirps, Q nodding along, his face becoming pale as he listened.

“E3 says that his coding was triggered after the first attack on Master Ronson and hasn’t been turned off since. Well done, you,” he said warmly.

James chuckled, “Berry has more common sense than the rest of the Order it seems,” he said, his hand joining Q’s for a quick pat on its dome. Q nodded, clearly pleased with his droid as well as his own genius.

“Why jam the cameras, Q?” Eve asked.

The room fell silent, eyes falling to the beds occupant, “Because I do not believe I had an _accident,_ and that there is a small possibility that it was someone inside the temple. There is also the distinct possibility that word of my recovery had spread, and someone may be looking to finish the job. I’d rather if they had internal access to not be able to know everything I know, let alone which bloody room I’m being kept in,” he said bitterly before turning back to the droid in his lap, “Now, can you play us the last minute before the explosion?”

E3 chirped once before a small door opened up on its body as the projector hologram suddenly appeared on the sheets.

Alec whistled in appreciation at the scene. None of them, save for Q, were exceptionally knowledgeable in technological advances, but even they could see the quality of the hologram before them. The image was sharp and focused, carrying accurate coloring rather than the blue hues that holograms normally carried. On top of that, it looked like a 3D panoramic view. It was like having a mini lab right there on the bed, windows, desks, outdoor views and all. It was incredible.

There was a small holographic Q, puttering about from the POV of his knee-high droid. They watched as Q moved over to the desk that James and Alec knew would be the one they found him tucked behind during the fire. Nothing seemed to be amiss. There was nobody else in the lab besides E3.

Then the hologram fizzled for a moment, only to focus again on flames and debris and the still form of its master laying on the ground.

Q sighed, “Play it again. Repeat until I say otherwise.”

The hologram started again.

James squinted down at the scene, looking over every second, every centimeter of the mini lab before them. Each time the picture fizzled out only to focus back on Q’s body, James had to bite back the nausea that nearly overwhelmed him. Alec and Eve faired only slightly better. Eve battling the mist that was trying to form over her eyes, while Alec was doing his best not to crush the bedside handrail under his fists.

“Wait, E3, go back two seconds. Can you zoom in on the window?” James asked suddenly.

E3 did so easily, and the jedi could all see the small ship that was hovering in the distance. It wasn’t a good enough image once zoomed in to see anything beyond general shape and perhaps model, but it was no doubt looking in at the lab.

“Okay…definitely suspicious, I’d say outside job, but the windows were intact even after the explosion. They’re designed to hold up to ships flying into them. There’s no physical way this person could have caused the explosion.” Alec pointed out.

“A scout then, seeing if the job was done?” Eve added.

Q shook his head, “Still doesn’t answer the big question of how the hell a crystal ended up falling to the floor.” He bit his lip, eyes pouring down at the image before them, “We’re missing something…do we know the exact impact location?”

Eve stretched out her hand, carefully pointing to a spot on the floor, “The impact crater was here.”

Q frowned, “But, how is that possible? That’s almost a meter away from the shelves, and there were no crystals anywhere else, I’d already put them all away. Luckily too, otherwise that blast would have been a damned sight bigger. Things don’t just fall sideways like that.”

James couldn’t help but agree. Gravity varied on certain planets, but Coruscant’s was as stable as it came. Physics played out nicely there. Narrowing his eyes, he ducked his head closer, “E3…zoom in on the area between the shelves and impact crater and replay.”

The hologram restarted, and this time none of them could miss the tiny crystal that suddenly started to levitate off of the shelf only to drop to the floor a few moments later.

They all stared in horror as the picture fizzled once again.

“E3, stop,” Q whispered after a few seconds of stunned silence had passed. His droid didn’t hesitate to pause it, obviously noting the somber feel in the room.

The implications of what they saw were staggering.

It had been someone who was Force sensitive. Perhaps a fellow jedi just about to turn to the Dark Side. Perhaps a Sith. None of them were even sure which would be worse at this point. All they knew was that they could trust no one now.

James didn’t have to look up to know that everyone had turned to him. He could feel the heat of their gazes on him, and it burned.

“James…what do we do?” Q asked softly, his eyes impossibly wide.

It was the first time that James had ever truly been caught off guard by Q’s youth. Here he was, injured, hurting, and just found out that one of his own kind had tried to assassinate him. Despite all his brain power, Q obviously felt lost. Like a child who had only just learned that death was very real and very permanent. It was no wonder his friends eyes had fallen on him for what to do next. They all knew that James was well acclimated to pain and betrayal in life from an early start. Surely, he knew how to handle it.

“Alec, I need you to run a patrol around the Temple. Look for anyone or anything suspicious. Anything that feels off, you let me know right away. If anyone from the Order asks about Q, I want to know their names. Q, can you make it so our comms are only linked to each other and completely inaccessible to anyone else?”

Q nodded, “Of course. E3 can do that now.”

“Good. We’ll communicate through those or if we’re in the room with E3 and it can jam everything. Eve, I need you to get some rest. You’ll be taking over patrol from Alec tonight and we’ll need you alert. Keep your ear to the ground for anything that may be suspicious. I know you have your finger in many pies as an ambassador jedi, and if this has anything to do with politics then you’ll be the first to know,” he said firmly, waiting for each of them to nod in agreement to their new duties.

“What about you, James?” Alec asked, already pulling on his cloak and readying to leave.

“I’m staying with Q. There’s too great a chance that someone will want to come finish the job, and I won’t leave him vulnerable.”

Q sighed from where he was wearily reclining on the bed, reaching out his hand to brush his fingers against James’ where they were stark white, gripped on the bed rails, “James, you need rest too.”

James opened his mouth to argue, but Eve was already cutting in, “Don’t you worry about it, darling. Alec and I will work out a schedule between the three of us for patrol, rest and playing bodyguard. You just stay focused on getting better,” she said, dropping a quick kiss onto his brow before following Alec to the door.

The bid their quiet farewells, and shut the door behind them as they left James and Q alone with the heavy atmosphere they had created. Silence hung around them, heavy enough that it felt like a physical weight on their shoulders.

And Q was far too weary to hold it long.

“Please, sit down James,” he said, coughing lightly into his fist.

“I should inform the healers that you’ve woken up,” James muttered, but Q’s hand on his stopped him. James started down into those green eyes that were staring back at him, pleadingly.

“Not yet. Just a few moments more alone. Please. I’m not…I need a moment before anyone sees me,” he choked out.

For once, James was obedient and did as told, sitting down beside Q, reaching out with his other hand to begin carding his fingers through limp and tangled curls. This was affecting them both in different ways.

James had always been a bit of a paranoid bastard. A loner, save for his exclusive list of trusted friends. Tainted by rougher handling in childhood. This attack had made him territorial, bordering on angry that he was just barely managing to hold back enough to keep his wits about him. He had already lost his master, and almost lost his closest and most treasured…friend. Someone was threatening the few things he held dear, and it felt personal. Especially now that they knew that someone Force sensitive was involved.

With Q though, this was all new for him. He had complete faith in the Order until now. He had trusted freely among his peers and their systems and protocols. He would never had guessed that the Order would fail him so spectacularly, not even bothering to keep him protected while they accuse him of hurting himself in an accident. He had been touched by darkness before, when his master had been murdered in front of him, but this would be the first time that it would feel like a betrayal. Even if it was a Sith and not a vetted jedi, Q was still at the mercy of the Order and their choice to go about their lives as if nothing had changed…after everything had changed.

James sighed heavily when he could feel Q’s internal battle wrap around him like a frozen tundra. Slowly, James leaned forward towards Q until their foreheads met in the soft touch that had become more welcoming and comforting than any hug could offer. Immediately, James felt Q’s body begin to relax under the familiar touch, his breath leaving his body gently and without triggering another coughing fit.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Q muttered, tilting his head up so that his lips brushed against James’.

“Me too,” James replied. It got him thinking though, of the day at the market when that sharp and sudden alarm had gone off as the Force warned him about something. How similar it had been to the feeling he got right before the explosion that nearly killed Q. Not for the first time, he wondered if he would have been able to prevent this from happening. Save Q’s skin from cracking a blistering, his lungs from shriveling, and his heart from aching.

And besides all that, why had he been the only one to sense the danger?

Despite Q sitting before him, alive, James couldn’t help that he had failed spectacularly. Q wasn’t _his_ to protect, and yet…he was. If no one else could sense the danger approaching, if no one else knew nor cared that a potential rogue jedi or perhaps a Sith was going after Q, then who would protect him?

James would, already solidifying the vow secretly over his soul as he brushed at those stray, rebellious curls once again. Q was _his_ to protect. The Force had made it so, and James was more than eager to accept that responsibility if it only meant that he got to keep Q by his side for as long as time allowed them.

“Get some rest, Q. I’ll still be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for reference, bacta tank is what they put Luke in after he got half frozen to death in the movie, that thing he was kinda just floating in. Bacta itself is like, neosporin on steroids. It can heal burn, cuts, general injury, scars...and if you put people into a bacta filled fish tank it can miraculously heal them.


	8. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Alec seek out answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so happy to hear back from you guys! Glad to hear that you are enjoying this story, I'm having a blast writing it.
> 
> Just a heads up, this story is almost complete, and after that I will be writing two other 00Q fics simultaneously, but once I complete one of those two I will be starting on the sequel to this Star Wars AU. Hope you all like it! It will be exploring James' emotional journey after the events of Threat Within, and how he finds himself wondering if he has to choose between Q and the Order.

It had taken another grueling week of vigil by Q’s bedside until he was deemed recovered enough to be moved back into his regular quarters. The moment could not have come soon enough, seeing as how James had all but drawn his lightsaber at the slightest noise outside of the hospital room’s door for days he was so high strung. Everything felt like a potential threat now. The nurse coming through to check on Q. The medicines the medi droid injected him with. Each and every jedi that stopped by to see how the patient was fairing. All of it rubbed against his nerves like sand in his eyes.

He could tell that Q was getting a bit restless as well on top of his carefully controlled paranoia that was in part James’ fault for hanging over them like a dense fog, obscuring their vision of everything. Q could feel every ounce of his own fear, and was probably feeding off of it since James was the one he was near all the time now. Jedi empathy in Q had always tended to be on the oversensitive side, and he was almost struggling to separate his own emotions from his friend’s.

As promised, James did get some rest in the days of Q’s recovery, however his rest consisted of an uncomfortable chair by Q’s bed, or sometimes in his bed squished in close. He never left the room and only slept when either Eve or Alec were inside the room keeping watch while the other patrolled the Temple. All of them were exhausted. Q by his slow recovery and the other three by the long hours spent searching for hints of any danger.

It wasn’t until Q was released that James felt like he could move more than a few paces away from him. All of them had flatly refused the idea of Q heading back to his own quarters as they were too obvious a place for him to be targeted again. James’ quarters had windows that were too large, the threat of that ship coming back being too great a worry to go there. In the end, they had moved Q into Eve’s rooms for the remainder of his recovery. It was already acclimated for species that enjoyed a moist environment, and it lacked large windows that let in the sun to dry out her sensitive scales. James did not want a repeat of what happened before to happen again.

It made things easier for their little group, having a home base to return to that didn’t have nurses or medical jedi and droids coming in and out at random times during the day. They could speak freely of their theories, and none of them felt the need to hide their anxiety within the walls of Eve’s rooms.

It was in these rooms that for the last few days, James felt like he could breathe again.

Eve had offered up her bed to Q and James under the assessment that Q needed it the most and that she’d have to cut off James’ legs to keep him from sneaking in beside him. She wasn’t wrong. James couldn’t bear being too far away while Q slept, seeing as it was when the master was at his most vulnerable. It would always start with Q just beginning to drift off, James lurking around the edges of the room or by the door, watching Q’s delicate features start to slacken, and then those eyes would open and seek out James. One hand would be lifted out from the sheets, beckoning James to join him. And he would without hesitation, longing to touch and feel the life that still burning inside of the man he had almost lost. Only then could either of them sleep.

Meanwhile, Eve and Alec had set up the couch for them to take turns sleeping on, their patrolling schedule still in the works while James continued in his protective detail for Q, only now he had also taken on the role of caregiver. Something that James sensed that Q did not enjoy very much.

“James, I swear, the pillows are fluffed enough. If you fluff them anymore, they might just explode.”

James hid his wince as the words may have hit a little too close to home, but continued to adjust the pillows behind the grouching master, “Well, if someone didn’t insist on working during his recovery then you wouldn’t have to be propped up like this.”

Q growled softly under his breath, “I have to work, who else is going to review all the coding in the Temple for threats? And I am perfectly capable of sitting at a table without breaking, ta. I’m almost completely back to normal, so this is entirely unnecessary,” he said, coughing lightly into his sleeve before returning to typing.

James decided not to point out that Q would in fact never be completely back to normal again, as it still was too fresh of a wound for the both of them. The last bit of recovery that the medical jedi had sent Q back to his rooms for was not so much a healing as it was an acclimation. Q had healed as much as he would heal by now, leading him now to focus on getting back his strength and adjusting to his new limitations.

Because his lungs had been irreparably damaged.

The thought still sent a cold shiver down his spine, thinking that while he may not bear actual scars from his attack, he would bear a wound that would last the rest of his life. It wasn’t debilitating as far he they could see. He would be able to go about his life like he had before, just having to take medicines daily to keep his breathing easy. Like his skin, his lungs would now be sensitive to cold and dryness. It would be little more than a small cough occasionally but could quickly become a problem if not treated correctly. Even so, each small cough he heard Q struggle with was another knife in his heart.

Q bore it well, taking his medicines without complaint and even running through some strengthening katas with Eve to get him back into shape after nearly two weeks of immobility. There were no feelings of anger, sadness, or even fear about his new condition that lingered on him. No, James was the one who let it linger on himself. It was probably the only reason why Q hadn’t run him through with his own lightsaber to get him to stop henning him. Q would be able to feel this in James’ aura, and knew James well enough to know the source of the emotions. Didn’t stop Q from growling through the endless fretting.

“James, I do not need any more tea! If I drink another drop my eyeballs are going to float away. I’m fine, I swear, just let me work,” he pleaded, turning his large green eyes towards him.

“Fine, fine. But only another hour and then you need to stop for lunch. Alec and Eve will be joining us,” he said, backing up from Q with his hands held up in surrender. He only went as far as the couch, a mere ten paces away from where Q was sitting at the table, fully facing the young master as he worked.

Berry made its way over to James, playfully burrowing in the folds of his robes as it looked for something else to do. Q had been having Berry run through countless lines of code as he dug around the Temple’s inner workings, but it was slow and difficult work. The sheer amount of coding that was used to run this place was almost unfathomable, and on top of that, they didn’t even know what they were looking for. The code that had been used to kill Ronson had appeared completely normal and innocent until it wasn’t after all. Alec and Eve continued to do their patrols, keeping their ears to the ground for anything. Meanwhile, James would begin to feel a bit useless until flashes of fire would strike across his brain, reminding him that he had the most important job of them all by keeping Q safe.

They weren’t the only ones doing something though. Mallory had every droid and Temple guard checking every nook and cranny of the Temple in the meantime for bombs like the one that had killed M, the Council deciding that they could get away with checking their own home for dangers without alerting their enemies to any weaknesses. It was a small comfort for the four of them, but a comfort, nonetheless. It would have been very difficult for Alec and Eve to have done the same as there were some rooms that they never entered that would look suspicious if they suddenly did. James had to give him some credit. He may not be scorching the planet to find who attacked Q, but he wasn’t sitting completely idle either.

E3 made a soft whistling noise, almost like it was sighing in boredom. James chuckled, reaching down to rub his hand over the familiar chipped paint, “I know, Berry, but your master wanted to give your processors a bit to cool down. You’ve been running them ragged the last few days.”

E3 beeped indignantly, making James laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners, “Yes, I know you have powerful processors, but even droids need a break sometimes. Can’t have you overheating on us, especially in this ridiculously humid room.”

Q sent him a glare over the top of his data pad that James replied to by blowing a kiss.

“Just kidding, Q. We all love sitting in a room where the air feels like warm soup.”

“Ha, ha,” Q bit back, but there was a small smile playing on his lips by the time he turned his attention back to his screen.

* * *

As the sound of Q’s rumbling stomach reached James’ ears, Eve and Alec were just making their return, the doors sliding open for them easily. They wouldn’t open for anyone else, Q had already seen to their security there. They even came bearing a basket of food, just like if they were going up to the pond in the gardens. The thought brought a sad smile to James face as he accepted the offering.

“Anything?” he asked, already knowing the answer based off of their matching grey auras.

Alec let out a long hiss as he sat down next to Q, already pulling the data pad out from his hands while ignoring the grumpy protests.

“Nothing. Not even a wisp of a threat in the whole place,” he sneered, now holding the data pad above Q’s head as the master made grabby hands for it.

Eve sighed, wearily dropping herself into another of the chairs, “We’ve looked everywhere we can without drawing attention. I’ve been listening in to any talk that passes over the comms. Alec’s gossiped with every known gossip in this whole tower. We’ve even talked to the younglings and nothing. It’s like the problem doesn’t actually exist within our walls.”

Alec grunted in agreement, ignoring Q’s squawk of displeasure when the larger jedi placed the data pad under his arse, “The only gossip we could hear was of M and how she had the longest list of enemies of any jedi ever in the history of the Order. And of Ronson being a major pain when it came to the Order and public relations.”

James rolled his eyes at the two of them fondly as he watched Q try and pinch Alec’s arse to get him to move, “Just eat, Q. He’ll give it back once we’ve finished lunch.”

Q’s face adopted a sour look as he gave Alec one last shove, “Ronson’s policies, while somewhat harsh, were smart. The man knew a security risk when he saw one,” Q snapped back, sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed over his thin chest, his intimidating look somewhat lessened when he had to cough lightly, “He probably would have been backing up James for a more vigorous investigation had he lived.”

Eve pursed her lips, “Well, just something else we need to consider I suppose. Mallory and Tanner are personally working their way down M’s enemy list, but like we said, it’s extensive. If we could tie together the information between the three attacks, like motive, then the list could narrow down a bit,” she said, eyeing Q from the side. No doubt she was trying to see how he was faring that day, “And what about you two, anything? Do you need to take a break?”

“I don’t need a break, I need my data pad back. I want to see if I can find that list that Tanner and Mallory are working on. Maybe they missed something. They don’t know that we suspect someone force sensitive.”

Alec wiggled his arse as if settling in more, “Nope. Not until you’ve eaten.”

Q sighed, still staring down at Alec’s arse. James would have been jealous if he didn’t know that it was his tech that he was looking at like a lost lover.

“Q spent the last few days going through code, and hasn’t found anything yet. We went over Q’s enemy list, which falls down to nothing but petty jealous classmates or bullies from years ago. We even reviewed the jedi in line to fill empty Council seats, but no red flags there. All dead ends,” James wearily took the last chair. Weeks, and the four of them had found nothing and with each passing day James felt like they were that much closer to another attack. Because they all knew there would be another. They just had no clue when, why, or how. One thing they knew though, if someone made motions again towards the youngest of their little group, they regret it.

Food was dolled out between the four friends, all tucking into their respective dishes with somewhat bland enthusiasm. It was harder to enjoy the simple things in life when the complex things took the forefront of their minds. James even had trouble just holding Q as he used to without thinking of what it would do to him if the young master was no longer there. Losing M had and still was one of the most painful things that had ever happened to him, but it paled at the thought of losing Q.

Alec jerked in his seat suddenly, dropping his fork in surprise.

Eve and James already had their lightsabers drawn and activated by the time Alec sheepishly pulled the data pad out from under him, handing it back over to Q.

“Um, it started vibrating. I think you got a message,” he said, smirking as Eve and James put away their sabers with matching glares.

Q looked mildly interested as he pushed aside his plate of fruit and cheeses, taking back his data pad with relief, “Hmm, just a message from Mallory reminding me that the K’Leeran ceremony is this evening.”

Now James dropped his fork, “You are not going,” he bit out harshly.

Q waved him off with his hand, “Mallory says I don’t have to go if I’m not feeling well enough, but really, I’m not going to get any better than I am, and you yourself said during the mission brief that the more of us that show up the happier the K’Leeran’s will be. Also, Mallory said to remind you that your attendance would be highly appreciated, seeing how you were the mediator in all this.”

James ignored the comment of Q not getting any better, the idea still sitting like acid in his heart, and rounded on the other two, “Back me up on this. He’d be out in the open, exposed to another attack.”

Alec shrugged, “It is a bit of a risk, but all the other Council members would be there. They would know to keep an eye on him. Everyone knows he’s still in recovery for at least another week.”

Eve snorted into her drink, “Now that would be a daring move by our unknown enemy. Attacking the whole Council at once. You would either have to be incredibly stupid, or very angry to pull such a stunt.”

“Ronson would have had quite a lot to say about this ceremony wouldn’t he,” Q remarked mildly, already back to focusing on his data pad with renewed focus, brow furrowed as he bit at his lip.

The idea of Q being outside of this room brought a cold sweat to his skin, but the idea of him being outside the Temple and out in the open was like ice in his very veins. M had been killed during some stupid public relations stunt. One bomb, and a part of James’ heart had died. One more bomb, and there would be nothing left.

“James…” Q began slowly, “When was the last time you or Alec went to see Scallar?”

James and Alec shared a contemplative look. Scallar wasn’t necessarily a friend as much as he was a resource to a few jedi who happened to know of his dirty talents. James had been the one to tell Q about the Bleerag, saying that he could be bought by anyone, good or bad, to spill the most benign or malignant secrets of the city. It was always dangerous to see him in person, knowing what his abilities were, but if they calculated the risks and shielded their minds as best a jedi can, the benefits were mostly worth it. Still, he was almost always a last resort.

“It’s been a while,” Alec replied.

The food laid forgotten between all of them as a heavy feeling started to cloak around Q. They could all feel the Force gathering around him as he was no doubt thinking and processing information at a level that none of them could even fathom, his eyes darting back and forth in the air as if the answers were written in the very oxygen around them.

“I need you two to go to him. I need you to ask him about two things, and then you need to be back here before the Ceremony,” he stated, the authority and gravity in his voice severing any chance of them arguing with him about his orders, “First. Ask him if he’s heard whispers of an attack on the new K’Leeran embassy. And second, ask him about M’s padawan.”

James frowned, “Me? Why ask about me?”

Q looked up at him sadly, shaking his head as if in pity, “Not you. Her first padawan. The one that is on Mallory’s and Tanner’s list. It has a photograph attached you see. I may have found a link between M and myself.”

* * *

“How could she have never told me that she had a previous padawan?”

“None of us knew, James. She must have kept it a secret for a reason. Hell, even Q didn’t know about him until just now. That means it was either before his and our time, or maybe that it wasn’t important enough for any of us to know,” Alec pointed out, but his voice did not match his consoling words. He sounded tense and betrayed.

Q had ushered the two men out of the room without explaining further, handing them a large purse of coins, his face as pale as it had been when James had held him in his arms as his life drained away. James would have fought harder to stay if it weren’t for Eve’s promise to watch over Q, and that now James had questions he wanted answers too as well. There were only a few hours left before the ceremony was to begin. James cursed himself that they didn’t all think of it was a threat sooner, when they would have had more time to prepare.

The hurried down the streets, both cloaked in civilian robes again, even though their disguises would do very little against Scallar’s talents. It was more to prevent any other eyes from reading their movements. James had to clench his fist against his side to prevent himself from holding onto his lightsaber, like a hand resting on a firearm. Everything sang out in war cries in his head now. The stinging feeling of danger creeping back up his spine.

The two jedi ducked into a seedy looking bar in the back alley of another back alley, the kind of place that the scum of the city and the ones trying to disappear go. That’s probably why Scallar had set up camp here. Curoscant was populated by the most diverse community in the galaxy, and held most of the political and regal goings on as well. This planet was where decisions were made that would ripple out into the rest of the universe, so of course secrets would be their own trade. And no one had secrets like those who lived in the forgotten corners of the planet wide city.

Swiftly and silently, the two jedi made their way into the bar, taking a table for three in the back where the shadows would render them as innocuous as bugs on the wall. They ordered two drinks to further blend in with their surroundings, and then waited. There would be no need to let Scallar know that they were here for his services. He’d figure that out himself if he wanted his money.

They did not have to wait long. It was only a few minutes later that a server came by to tell them that Scallar would see them before escorting them into a back room.

Waiting at a round table was Scallar. His species were not intimidating by their looks, hardly standing more than a meter tall and with large eyes that nearly took up their entire face, but that wasn’t why their kind was feared so, or why many other populations had done their best to wipe out the Bleerags. It was their ability to read minds that made them so awesome and terrifying. And because of that, his species was well on its way to eradication. What was only a biological development for their aquatic species to communicate underwater with each other had become a threat once they made the move to land. Suddenly their language was a weapon they didn’t even know they had, but the rest of the galaxy feared.

Understandably, Scallar kept hidden to his back rooms and came off a bit bitter to James and Alec when they visited. After all, jedi were revered for their talents, and until now, rarely hunted down for them. Jedi had their own mental abilities. Their empathy being strong enough at times to make them seem psychic, but their talents did not extend to a person’s inner thoughts.

“I’d say I was surprised to see you two come through my doors today, but well,” he chuckled darkly, “Two and a half dead jedi would be a damn good reason as any to lower yourselves to seek out my services.”

James stared at him steadily, keeping his mental barriers as tight as possible as he felt Scallar begin to root around their brains, “Two dead. One very much alive,” he said, trying to keep the growl from his voice.

Scallar held up two webbed hands, “My apologies, your right, not dead. Just permanently damaged for life, my mistake,” he said with a hiss of near glee, large eyes squinting at James as if reading him like an open book. It made the jedi’s skin crawl.

“We have questions,” Alec cut in harshly.

Scallar smiled and propped his chin between his webbed fingers, “Ah, and you have money too,” he said knowingly, even though neither James nor Alec had produced a purse. He knew that they always came with what was required, “Therefore, I may just have your answers.”

“Well, you better have answers or us and our money will be walking right back out those doors,” Alec replied with false cheer.

Scallar laughed loudly as he sat back in his chair, “You seek answers that even the great Jedi Archives cannot provide. Therefore, you seek not answers, but secrets. And secrets, my dear jedis, secrets pass between people like a disease. Starts with one whispering to another, while another overhears. Then those two shares it with another. And them some more. Soon, that secret has plagued the streets and one of those poor infected, unsuspecting fools makes their way into my bar. Their whole life becomes an open book to me. So then, you are not looking for answers because I cannot give you answers. A person’s mind is not an instruction manual, it is a personal journal. Now, ask the right questions, and we’ll see what journal entry I have that might be relevant to your quest.”

James held back his tongue from lashing out at the psychic that they did not have time to argue semantics when Q’s life, and many other lives, may be on the line. He clenched his jaw instead, and leaned forward with his gaze on Scallar, “I need to know if there are any whispers on the wind about the K’Leeran ceremony tonight.”

Staring pensively into the air, Scallar tilted his head slightly, as if listening to the wind for his reply, “I’ve heard worry from the government worms that this ceremony has a lot riding on its success. An intelligent culture that has been very difficult to alliance with in the past and who hold technology and medicines that Curoscant and the Order have been trying to get hold of for decades. That species is known for being flighty at anything they consider a bad omen as I recall.”

Alec rolled his eyes, “We know all that. We’re looking for darker whispers, not political gossip.”

Scallar leveled him with an exasperated glare, “They you should know already that if the ceremony should have any disruption, then your Order as well as the Republic will be dealt a very harsh blow. A lot of work has gone in to securing them, not to mention quite a few lives destroyed along the way. All that to go to waste would make all of you look rather foolish, would it not?”

It would, but nothing they couldn’t recover from in time. James hardly cared for the public face of the Order, it wasn’t his place and at time he found it silly that they had to guard themselves so when they risked their lives daily to keep the galaxy safe yet they would mock them for a truce gone bad. Politics shouldn’t get in the way of saving lives.

“What lives destroyed do you speak of?” James asked.

Scallar’s grin turned dark as he leaned forward against the table again, “Ah…that ties right in with the second secret that you’ve come here seeking. The one that you think you’ve been hiding behind those jedi shields, but, dear boy, it’s been plastered across your brain like a banner since you walked in here. The thought that troubles you so that you can’t even contain it behind your extensive jedi training.”

Beneath his rib cage, he felt his heartrate spike. He could feel Alec tense up next to him, no doubt becoming anxious himself. Q’s pale face as he had rushed them off flashed across his vision, somehow reminding him that all of this, everything, would tie together with this secret. Something that had been hidden by his master as long as he’d known her.

“Tell me,” James whispered, the words feeling frigid on his tongue.

“You must ask. Say the words.”

James drew in a breath, squaring his shoulders beneath his cloak, “Tell my about my master’s first padawan.”

A gleeful darkness fell over Scallar’s features as he steepled his fingers under his chin, “Your Master’s first padawan was just like you in so many ways. Initially rejected by the Order because of a tainted childhood, but she took him in anyway. Her first of many mistakes,” he remarked, ignoring James’ clenching fists, “He was an arrogant sort. Thought he knew best in all cases, taking solo missions more often than not because he didn’t like negotiating with others on how best to complete their tasks. The Order scolded him, but never punished him because he got results. They never bothered to ask in depth how he came about those results though.”

“He was rogue?” Alec asked.

Scallar shrugged, “Perhaps at first. I do not have details on it. I do know of the mission that finally clued the Order in to their blindness. It was twenty years ago, when Curoscant and the Order first teamed up to try and get the K’Leeran’s to enter the Republic.”

James sucked in a sharp breath, scarcely believing that all of this tied together with what he had thought was a basic mission he’d been sent on for almost half a year. How had he not been told about this?

Scallar seemed pleased as he squinted at James, “I see. So, everything comes full circle then. How poetic.”

“Stop stalling. We need to know the rest now, we haven’t much time before the ceremony begins,” Alec snapped out, laying a steadying hand on his friends’ arm.

“Fine. Turns out that her padawan, Tiago as he was once known, hit the same roadblocks that you hit when it came to getting them to agree to join the Republic. Too temperamental, but Tiago didn’t want to waste time with a stubborn species when he had a mission to complete. So, he stole the technology and all the data behind it, quite clever with coding I’ve heard. Obviously, the Order found out, and because they could not find it in their codes to keep the stolen data, they told the K’Leeran’s what had happened.”

“They apologized then,” Alec said.

Scallar nodded, “In a way. You know the K’Leerans better than most though, Jedi Knight Bond. What do _you_ think they required as an apology?”

James felt the dread growing in his belly, “They would require a sacrifice as recompense.”

The sharp rows of teeth in Scallar’s mouth glinted in the dark room as he smiled, “They did indeed. The Order handed over Tiago so that they could save face with the K’Leerans. Only, Tiago escaped before they could end his life, which was taken as the darkest of omens, leading to a twenty solar cycle civil war that only just ended thanks to your help, Bond.”

It was hard for James to think his master was capable of doing that to her own padawan. Not because he believed her to be soft, but because he had always feared that she would sense a darkness in him and excommunicate him from the Order. Would she have done that to him if she had felt the stirrings of his heart lean away from the Order and towards something…someone else?

“And what of Tiago now? Where is he?”

“Why, he’s right here on Curoscant now. He’s been gathering up a small army of his own for years, and while he’s been very careful not to reveal his plans to anyone, it isn’t hard to guess based on the timing that it has everything to do with the K’Leeran treaty,” Scallar waved with his hand.

It made sense, James supposed, but it didn’t answer everything and they were running out of time before the ceremony was supposed to begin.

“One last thing before we go,” he ground out, knowing he had a hundred more questions and none of the time to ask them, “Why did the Order never tell us about Tiago?”

“You mean why didn’t your master tell you?” Scallar shot back drolly, ignoring Alec’s growl of warning.

James shook his head, “Her reason would be the same as the Order’s. Tell me.”

Scallar sighed and sat back in his chair again, arms crossed over his chest, “Because Jedi don’t like to admit their failures. Because Jedi don’t like people knowing that their actions always have consequences, like the rest of the world. Because they don’t like people to know that the darkest, most powerful forces of evil are born of jedi. And that when they tossed Tiago to the alter to be slain, the jedi died and a Sith was born.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnn


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set up for the big fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone!!!! This chapter will be a bit shorter than some of my other ones, but you will also notice that I have extended this story from 11 chapters to 12! 
> 
> This story is almost done (wooo!!!) and work for my next 00q (or I guess it's a J/A/Q story) has begun! So excited!
> 
> Thanks guys!!!!! <3

As they ran back to the Temple, both jedi could start to feel the foreboding edge of the Force start to edge its way into their hearts. For James, this was hardly a new feeling as it had been a constant and irritating companion for the last few weeks. For Alec, it was a new presence, making him feel cold all over and his face grim.

For all the horrors that the two of them had seen in their lifetimes, neither had ever encountered a Sith before. They’d heard plenty about them though, the boogeyman that the older initiates used to scare the younglings with, the promise of a visit from a Sith if they didn’t leave the table by the window open in the canteen, or some juvenile trick like that. Eventually all thoughts of Siths become faded and forgotten as the age where they are chosen to become a padawan, only to come back to haunt them every few decades or so when whispers of a new Sith come about. 

James had heard of several over his years, but in all actuality, Siths were incredibly rare. Jedi, being burdened with empathy and a physical link to all living things, it was hard to turn against the Light. Jedi felt the pain of others, knew their sorrows. To purposefully inflict pain on other beings like that was something James couldn’t even begin to fathom. Perhaps if the Order saw fit to educate their initiates about Sith, rather than try to sweep their existence under the rug, then James would understand better. Perhaps though, that was the very reason they weren’t educated in the ways of Siths. To understand their views was to sympathize. To sympathize was to embrace.

They didn’t grow up in a vacuum at least. Sith were still acknowledged as existing and the Council supposedly kept an eye out for any new ones on the horizon. Xanatos had been one name that floated around when James was a youngling, simply because it was of a former padawan to Kenobi’s deceased master. He was dispatched young and had not fulfilled the horrors that as a youngling, his imagination had supplied. Maul had been rightfully intimidating going off of the rumors that swarmed the Temple after Jinn’s death. There were rumors even that Maul had a master, but no proof had been found in that regard yet. The only other Sith that James knew of from his own lifetime had been the one that Q had barely spoken of, the one that he had wounded all those years ago. The one who’s memory alone could fade the bright brilliance of Q’s aura.

And now James could finally see the connection that had turned the young master grey. He had recognized the face from Mallory’s list. Tiago and the Sith that attacked him and Master Boothroyd all those years ago were one and the same.

James didn’t even know where to direct his revulsion. The fact that this Sith had not only dispatched Ronson, M and Boothroyd was horrid enough to make the edges of his vision go red, but to know that this Sith had also now almost killed Q twice…it was too much.

_He’s going to try and hurt more too._

The two of them tore their way into the Temple, ignoring the confused looks of several of the Temple Guard as they darted up the lift to the living spaces. The time between getting on the lift and bursting into Eve’s apartment was a blur, the world only coming back into focus once James’ gaze caught sight of Q standing whole and healthy in the middle of the room as Eve helped him into his robes. James knew those robes all too well. They were the drab basic robes of the masters when they were in view of the public. The ceremony.

Q’s face was still pale, but he sagged in marked relief upon seeing his friends return safely. E3 whistled loudly as it rolled frantically around the room, picking up on the distress easily.

“James, are you alright? You feel…conflicted,” he said as James crowded into his space, pushing their foreheads together in a desperate cling, breathing heavily against his skin.

James shook his head, “It’s a Sith,” he choked out, still trying to breath in Q’s sent to calm himself, “M’s apprentice, he’s a Sith. The one that hurt you and Boothroyd.”

“The K’Leerans and Order sentenced him to sacrificial death years ago. Looks like he’s trying to get revenge on everyone he can while he’s in town,” Alec added darkly, his mouth screwing up in distaste as he heavily sat down on the couch, “Oh, and he’s been going by the name Silva now.”

James could feel Q nod wearily, “I had assumed as much, but had hoped for less troubling correlations. This makes things very complicated.”

James growled, pushing Q back only far enough so that he could meet his gaze, “It isn’t complicated at all. We tell the Council to stop everything. You are not going to that ceremony, and Alec and I are going to stop whatever plan he has in place. Eve will stay here to make sure nobody comes to harm you.”

Q was already shaking his head halfway through his words, his eyes sad, “James…there are more lives at stake then my own. Who knows what Silva has planned. He’s already shown he has explosive tendencies, and a way with coding. You’ll need me.”

“No, you’re still recovering. You can barely walk to the kitchen without coughing.”

“That hasn’t been true for days, and you know it. I’ve been sparring with Eve and I’m as good as I’ll ever be.”

“You say that like you believe you’re combat ready. You haven’t been in the field for years!”

“I’ve kept up on all my training!”

“This is not going to be some basic mission.”

“That’s exactly why I need to be there. You will need me!”

“No, you need to be here. I need you safe!” James protested loudly.

A hush fell over the room at his words as they sunk in. Eve and Alec exchanged worried glances across the room as Q stood pale, but resolute before the irate jedi. Even E3 froze where it was, watching the two in the center of the room with it’s one large black lens.

“But I don’t belong to you, James,” Q said softly, pulling out of the older jedi’s bruising grip, “I belong to the people I serve. And they need me.”

James couldn’t understand. He had just told Q that they were running into a potential battlefield that more than likely held the very Sith that had murdered his Master, as well as two other masters, and almost killed him as well. But perhaps…

“Are you having thoughts of revenge, Q?” James asked with no intonation, using the same words that Q had asked him once weeks ago.

Q smiled sadly, “No. Not revenge. I just know that the Force has been telling me that my place is by your side in this and all things. I will not ignore something that I know is true.”

James felt like he needed to shout more, he needed to force Q to see things his way, needed to take Q and lock him away in some safe room until this all blew over, but…that wasn’t what his heart truly wanted. Just as Q said, and as the Force had been telling him too for years, Q belonged at his side in all things. Even the dangerous things. He hated it but knew it to be true. While Q wasn’t as healthy as he would have wanted, he could still outmatch anyone in this galaxy when it came to what they might encounter past the guns and enemies.

“I don’t like this,” he muttered, reaching out to brush his fingers against Q’s, just barely visible past the edges of his robe’s sleeves.

Q offered him a gentle smile, twining their fingers together until James could feel warm returning to his chilled skin, “This is what we do, James. We’re going together.”

“Yeah, and you lot sure as hell aren’t leaving me behind either!” Eve scolded, already clipping her lightsaber to her belt and tying up her long hair.

Alec rolled his eyes as he stood, “Then we best get ourselves over to the embassy. Ceremony isn’t for another hour or so, so we may have time to search the place a bit and stop this well before there is any real threat.”

“Wait,” Q called out as the three older jedi began to move out the door, “We need to warn Mallory,” he said firmly.

Alec groaned, “Can’t you just shoot him a message? We’re kind of in a rush here.”

* * *

In the end, the group split up, with Alec and Eve heading to the embassy while James and Q made their way up a few floors to where Mallory’s private quarters were. While James wasn’t thrilled with the delay, he was even more loath to leave Q’s side ow that all of them were heading into danger. At the very least, it wasn’t hard to narrow down the location thanks to Berry, but even so James was impatient to catch up with the others.

When they had entered the older Master’s quarters, he seemed hardly surprised to see the two of them there, and even less surprised after Q had hurriedly explained the situation.

Wearily, Mallory drew in a long breath before blowing it out, staring down at the two junior jedi before him, “That is indeed troubling news,” he intoned blandly, “Tanner and I had suspected, but had no direct evidence.”

James refused to roll his eyes, “Yes, it’s all very non-zen, but we have little time to meditate over it. You need to tell the other masters and postpone the ceremony.”

Q grimaced as Mallory began to rub at his forehead.

“James, they can’t delay the ceremony without us losing the K’Leeran’s permanently. Especially if we tell them why,” Q said softly. E3 whistled softly from the floor, swiveling it’s domed head between the three jedi.

“Master Q is correct, there is far more at stake here than just a bland ceremony. Those people could fall into another Civil war over this, and all that life saving technology would be lost to the Republic. As much as I advise against it, the Order is beholden to politics as much as any other government groups. Even your Master had to bow to such things during her time as High Councilwoman, though she fought hard to make us a neutral party. All of our actions have consequences as you have just learned. We must always do what we can to protect the people we serve, not just our people. It is our greatest weakness, but it is also our duty,” Mallory said with no small amount of distaste. James had to agree. Protecting one’s people was a basic instinct of all species, having to forgo that impulse due to political drama was almost a physical pain for some jedi.

“Then why the hell did we waste time coming here to tell him if the Council is just going to close their eyes and hope for the best? Did it escape everyone’s minds that the whole Council could be blown away along with the shiny new embassy if we do nothing?” James bellowed.

Q didn’t flinch at his shouting, his eyes narrowing dangerously, “We came to tell Mallory so that the masters who attend the ceremony are at least made aware and can do damage control should things go badly for us while we eliminate the threat as best we can. Doesn’t hurt to have back-up, James. As much as it has felt the last few weeks, we are not actually alone in this.”

James paused as he regarded the two masters before him. He had been expecting for Mallory to correct Q, tell him that they could not go forward with the plan, that they had to let things happen as they will, or some such nonsense, but the Councilman just stood there calmly, standing up only to slowly pull on his robe.

“You’re only telling the masters, aren’t you? Not the K’Leerans,” James said slowly, eyeing Mallory in a new light, “I didn’t think the Order allowed us to lie.”

“Correct,” Mallory said simply, “That is why I will classify this as misdirection for now. Master M was truly gifted at such things, and I hope to keep up her balance. As far as the K’Leerans will know, Master Q’Ren could not be in attendance as he is still recovering from an accident, and that Knight Bond was sent out on a mission and sends his congratulations and regrets of not being there. Neither a lie, just twisting the truth a bit. Meanwhile, I expect that you four will take care of things _discreetly_. The ceremony is taking place outside the building, but I still request that you keep things as quiet as possible. I know that is often an issue for you, Bond.”

“I’ll keep him in line to the best of my abilities, sir,” Q added, elbowing James in the ribs before he could say something rude.

“Excellent. Now, I believe you two are expected somewhere. Good luck, and may the force be with you.”

* * *

Within minutes, they had made their way down to the hangars where Q quickly led them to James’ ship that had finally been completed the week before. There was about thirty seconds wasted as Q and E3 argued over whether the droid should come along, but in the end E3 had won out after a very long and loud chain of beeps, whistles, and blaring alarms had erupted from the small droid and Q’s shoulders had sunk in defeat. James was rather glad it was coming along. It was damned handy in a tight spot in the Temple. He couldn’t begin to think about what it could do in the field, spunky little thing it was.

The three of them boarded quickly after that. Flying that ship was as second nature as breathing to him and he had it powered up and leaving the Temple before Q even got a chance to finish strapping in. Even with the new coupling upgrade, it would still take them at least ten minutes to reach the embassy. Each passing minute he could feel the unease growing. The Force was constantly an electric buzz around him as they moved closer to danger.

Out of the corner of his eye, James surveyed Q as the younger man sat in the co-pilots chair, eyes clenched shut, lips thinned and pale.

“You still don’t like flying, do you?” he asked. If this were any other time, there would have been a grin playing on his lips, but he didn’t feel much like grinning right now. Not when he was the one flying Q into a potential war zone.

“Not since the last time I flew with you and Alec, no,” he ground out between clenched teeth, “Do you have any idea how many meditation sessions it took after that before I could even step on a ship again? Bastards, the two of you. Auxiliary acceleration compensators are there for a reason! I happen to like gravity, I’ll have you know.”

James let out a dry chuckle as his mind flashed a brief memory of the last and only time that Q had ever flown with the two of them. As he recalled, he had to carry Q off of the ship, the little master cursing in his arms all the way back to his rooms to change out of his vomit covered robes. That may have been the angriest he’d ever seen Q, he thought to himself fondly. He hoped they had many more memories to make ahead of them. After all this.

“You’ll stay safe,” James said, trying to make it sound like a request rather than a command. He probably failed going off of how Q’s expression softened into nauseated sadness. They both knew that Q could promise nothing to him in regards to his safety, and they could both feel the fear that clung to James like an odor when he thought about what he was leading Q in to.

This would be his first field mission in years, having always been of more use in the Temple than out of it. It at least wasn’t his first, having gone on hundreds during his padawan years with Master Boothroyd. Hell, he’d already survived an encounter with a Sith. But still, James struggled to see Q anywhere outside of the Temple’s walls.

“I will always do everything in my power to return to you, James,” Q said after a few moments had passed, “As I said before, my place is by your side.”

James blew out a breath, “And mine by yours,” he said, startling a little as he felt Q’s hand slowly close over his own that was clenched too tightly over the controls. He turned and met Q’s eyes, a thousand wordless conversations held in the brief moment that he held his gaze. Forbidden feelings trickling through their tightly regulated emotions that they did their best to pretend weren’t there or classify as meaning something different. Not lies. Misdirection. Lies were also forbidden after all, even to oneself.

“You still remember how to use that thing, right?” James asked as the embassy started to loom ahead.

Q glanced down at the lightsaber clipped to his belt that James had gestured to, “Of course I remember. I practice daily I’ll have you know,” he said with an affronted air.

James shrugged, “I’ve just never seen you use it before. You’ve always said that you were strongest with computers…”

“Just because something is not my greatest strength, does not make it my weakness,” Q muttered back, unconsciously letting his hand drift down to his belt.

* * *

Two small figures lingered in the shadows of the embassy pillars as James and Q approached the back entrance of the building. They could feel them before light offered view of the familiar and grim faces of Eve and Alec as they met up. In their hands, they both held their lightsabers, though both also had not powered up yet. James and Q took the unspoken suggestion and pulled their own weapons from their belts.

“We’re expecting trouble then?” James asked grimly, eyeing the plaza in the distance as it steadily began to fill with thousands of spectators and politicians as they all gathered to welcome their newest Republic addition. The noise was already starting to fill the air.

“Counted at least twenty mercenaries hidden around the lower maintenance floors, completely out of sight of the normal embassy staff. Wouldn’t be surprised if a few mandos were lurking about as well. Nobody would have noticed them before or during the ceremony,” Alec reported, his sharp teeth grinding together in frustration. If it wasn’t for Q finding that one small bit of information, they may have all missed this impending disaster. Too close. And even so, they had not saved the day yet.

“Any sign of Silva?” Q asked.

Eve shook her head, “None yet, but we didn’t get too far into the building. Didn’t want to start the party before you two got here. Did you find Mallory?”

James grunted, his face blank.

“He has been informed, but we’re on our own for the moment. The goal is for us to handle things quietly, without alerting the K’Leerans,” Q supplied when it was apparent that James was still holding a grudge over the matter.

The two other jedi seemed hardly surprised.

Alec chuckled, “Quietly, eh? Has Mallory ever read about James’ past missions?”

“Let’s just hope that the crowd is as loud as they usually are. Perhaps it’ll provide some cover when the blasters inevitably start going off,” Q sighed.

If they had not all been experienced jedi, the four of them would have jumped as E3 suddenly erupted with a few alarmed sounding twitters. Swiftly, Q knelt down next to his droid as it continued to make all sorts of electronic fretting noises.

The longer the beeps went on, the more serious Q’s face became. James himself only understood about half of what the droid said on a good day, but Q understood each and every whistle like it was common tongue.

Eventually Q stood after giving his droid a solemn pat on the dome, “E3 is picking up some familiar coding in the network here, ones with a similar signature to the ones found on Ronson’s ship, as well as the frequency of something that resembles a bomb in the lowest levels of the building. E3’s best guess is that the bomb is linked to the power reactor that is located there. With the right conditions applied, overloading the reactor and detonating a bomb at the same time, this could cause an explosion that will reach well beyond the reaches of the embassy.”

“Shit,” said Alec.

“Do we need to go back to Mallory with a change in plan?” Eve asked, eyeing the massive crowd of people gathering nearby.

James shook his head, “This changes nothing. We stick to the plan. We knew this was a possibility. E3 can send a message to the Council if this all goes tits up, but we do that only when we have no other choice.”

“Then we best get started,” Q said firmly.

And with that, the four jedi, and one droid, dove into the embassy.


	10. Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fighting begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone, here's the next chapter. We're getting so close to the end of this story, I can't believe it! One full chapter and an epilogue to go. There is a sequel being planned in the future, so if there are "loose ends" they are entirely on purpose and will be continuing plot points in the next two stories. Thanks for sticking with me so far!!!
> 
> Also, lightsaber colors get revealed for everyone :D

Alec and Eve led them all to the third sublevel, the floor that one had to enter in order to get close to the part of the building that held the reactor room at the heart of it all. It was a simple staircase down, but with each passing floor, they could feel the oppression of ozone around them. The kind that James now knew was the lurking feeling of a Sith nearby.

They didn’t even wait to reach the floor before the four of them in sync ignited their sabers. Alec’s green saber lighting up his face in an eerie glow. The purple of Eve’s making her scales shimmer menacingly in the dimmed stairwell.

James drew his weapon, reveling in the familiar blue glow and comforting hum as it sizzled to life in his hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of an unfamiliar golden glow to his left. He swiveled his head as they continued to race down the stairs, watching as Q held a yellow lightsaber tightly in his hand with E3 tucked under his other arm. After so many years of knowing each other, it had always been a wonder that he never knew such a basic fact about him.

It wasn’t the first time that James had seen a saber of that color, it being common among jedi sentinels of past, but it was his first time ever learning that Q wielded such a weapon. Seeing it now, James could see how it fit Q’s personal school of thought well, and he should have known that it would take on the color from the first time he’d met him. The balance between the Force and the physical. Practicality above all. That was something to reflect on later, though, when they were all safe again. For now, he basked in the presence of the golden glow as if it were sun shining on his skin, providing the same warmth and comfort that he always drew from Q’s presence.

They didn’t even make it to the last step before the first wave of blasters were let loose on them.

With practiced ease, the four of them easily deflected each and every blast, careful that no ricochet hit their fellow jedi. Soon the air was filled with the clashing sounds of lasers, the hum and buzz of swinging sabers, and cries of the merc wounded by the redirected shots.

Soon the large room smelled strongly of ozone and blood, powerful and cloying. The ground became quickly littered with dropped weapons, writhing forms of injured men, and discarded bodies. None of this was new to James, but he felt the importance of this battle down to his very bones. There was no ignoring the fact that this battle was the product of the murders of jedi masters, and could lead to even more should they fail. Missions rarely hit home for jedi, seeing as they were to remain impartial. How did one remain impartial though when they had been personally touched in so many ways this time?

Boothroyd. Ronson. His own master. Q….

There was no escaping how this all felt like it was tied to him, like a noose around his neck. The only thing that kept him from suffocating on it, was that he wasn’t alone in this fight.

James trusted his friends to hold their own as more armed merc seemed to pour out from the shadows like a tsunami. He’d been on enough missions with Alec to recognize the sounds of his fighting, knowing that he only had to worry about him when the bodies began to fall further apart as he bludgeoned his way through the mass of chaos. He did not need to worry yet. Bodies were falling like rain around his friend at that moment.

Off to the right side of the room, James would have also been able to recognize Eve’s fighting style anywhere as she gracefully encountered her batch of mercs. They had only sparred together occasionally in the past, but James knew that she was as ruthless in a fight as she was in words. She could spar just as well with a practiced knight with sabers as she could verbally with seasoned and pompous politicians. She was holding her own well without any of them needing to assist.

James was not familiar in any way with how Q fought, having never witnessing it before, and quite honestly not being able to conjure such an image before now. Q had always seemed so sweet, delicate and gentle when he wasn’t dressing down jedi twice his size for smashing up another ship. Now though, James felt rather like a fool for not remembering that Q was a jedi _Master_. Underneath his youthful face and soft skin was a warrior of the same if not more merit as the rest of them. There were plenty of jedi who were not intimidating in size or stature, or were from smaller species, but they were all incredible with their lightsabers.

Even now, James was catching glimpses of Q’s naturally lithe form as it twisted and bent into almost impossible shapes as he nearly flew around his targets, and it was incredible. Where he lacked brute strength, he made up for in the ingenuity of his movements. The glow of his saber moved so fast that at times even James’ trained eye could not keep up. If they all survived this, James made a promise to himself to spar with Q every damn chance they got.

Still, James had to keep track of his own batch of mercs as they still seemed to still be coming out of the beam work. He was unable to resist occasional drifting of his sight to Q as the fight wore on, waiting for signs of his lungs reaching their limit. It was that distraction though that let a merc land the first blow.

It was no more than a small burn across his bicep, but it was just the beginning it seemed as the four jedi started to feel like four small worms in the dirt as flocks upon flocks of birds kept moving in, smelling blood. James had caught sight of three Mandalorians in the mix, and it only added to the buzzing in the back if his mind as threats moved in all around them.

The burn in his arm was of little consequence, not slowing his movements at all, but the three startled yelps of pain that followed in the short minutes after were like gouges out of his own flesh.

First it had been Alec, a stray flash of a Mandalorian rifle cutting a burning graze along his hip. He growled out of more annoyance than pain, but James recognized the sound of a wounded Alec anywhere, no matter the cacophony around them. He couldn’t spare a glance, but he reached out with the Force finding his friend’s signature as strong and brutal as always, assuring him that it was nothing life threatening. James didn’t even have a moment to be grateful for that when he heard Eve hiss as a knife slashed across her unprotected back.

Q had run to her side, keeping her side protected while she regained her balance after the injury, but in doing so he had opened himself up for one of the Mandos to step in, carefully dodging the clean swipes of Q’s saber to land a kick in the center of his chest, pushing him back violently into the wall.

James felt himself also struggling to breath after that blow, only being able to catch glimpses of Q as he tried to suck in strained breaths with his weakened lungs.

Eve’s wound was concerningly deep going off of the stain growing on her back but was able to fend off any blasters heading Q’s way. They were both slowing in their reactions though, a dangerous thing to happen with mandos in the mix. And they still had a damned bomb to take care of.

A trickle of sweat started to fall down his spine. There was still a Sith lurking somewhere too.

“Alec!” he called out, “⍙⟒ ⋏⟒⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ⌰⟒⏁ ⟒⎐⟒ ⏃⋏⎅ ⍾ ☌⟒⏁ ⏁⍜ ⏁⊑⟒ ⏚⍜⋔⏚,” using Alec’s native language that was uncommon enough that it was likely no one else in that room could speak it. Save for Q and Eve. They all made it a point to study each of their friend’s native languages. Came in handy when code was necessary. 

He could feel Alec’s surprise and alarm at his statement, “⍀⟟☌⊑⏁. ⏃⋏⎅ ⍙⟒'⍀⟒ ⟊⎍⌇⏁ ☌⍜⟟⋏☌ ⏁⍜ ⊑⏃⋏⎅⌰⟒ ⏁⊑⟒ ⍀⟒⌇⏁ ⏁⊑⟒⋏?” he called back, wondering how the hell James expected the two of them to handle a mob if Q and Eve even managed to escape.

“I think I may have a way to handle that actually,” came Q’s voice over the din, his voice painfully raspy as he no doubt fought the urge to fall into a coughing fit, " may even lighten the load a bit on our way out.

“I’m all ears,” Eve called back.

“Do it!” James cried out, trusting Q to do what was needed without question.

Q quickly deflected a rifle blast, ricocheting back into the chest of the mando that had kicked him, almost completely destroying his armor and hopefully knocking him out of the fight permanently, “E3! Bangcap protocol!”

James had all but forgotten about the little droid that Q had carried down the stairs only for all of them to be met with blasters. He could not see where the little bugger was at, but his body tensed in anticipation as he waited for whatever _Bangcap_ protocol was.

He didn’t have to wait long before Q’s voice rang out again, “☌⟒⏁ ⎅⍜⍙⋏!”

James didn’t hesitate to flatten himself down to the ground, covering his head only just in time before the room was rocked with the echoes of an explosion. Idly, James wondered if it had been heard three levels up and over the roars of the crowds as the mercenaries who did not duck were tossed back violently from the little bomb that E3 had chucked straight up in the air, the shockwave hitting all the things that were more than one foot above the ground.

There was no fire or shrapnel from E3’s force bomb, but the shockwave did more than enough damage, crushing those living beings in its path against walls all around them, but not harming the sturdy walls themselves. Right away, ninety percent of their foes had been downed, only the intuitive and armored mandos left struggling to stand back up.

“You two need to go! Find the bomb and disarm it, we’ll handle things here and then go after Silva,” James said, running over to help Q to his feet while Alec did the same with Eve.

Under their feet, a proudly whistling E3 came rolling over, somehow managing to look smug despite having no humanoid features. All around the room was a mess of flattened bodies, the massive amounts of chaos all a result of the actions of one tiny blue droid, making James wonder if E3’s should be made standard issue to all jedi in the future.

“You’ll be alright?” Q asked, trying to make it sound like a demand, but failing solely because of the desperation that welled in his eyes. James allowed himself one small moment to cup his hand against the warm and soft feel of Q’s cheek.

“We will see each other again,” he said finally, not knowing himself if it would be in this lifetime or the next. He didn’t want to think about a moment where he and Q may be separated by one of their lifetimes being shorter than the other, but it still played in his brain despite his efforts to quell such thoughts.

Q seemed to read his thoughts, swallowing deeply to hold back whatever emotions threatened to spill from his mouth, “May the Force be with you both,” he choked out, eyes wide and body tense, nodding once at Alec before he and Eve darted off towards the next set of stairs leading down into the depths of the building, scooping up E3 on the way.

James and Alec could not spare more than a moment watching their friends dart out of sight, sensing that the mandos were just starting get back on their feet.

“Just like old times, right James?” Alec said as he re-ignited his saber, the green glow playing across his features menacingly.

James let out a halfhearted chuckle, “Just about,” he replied, swinging up his blue blade. He drew in a long breath and found his center, all the while picturing Q’s face in his head.

* * *

Neither of them needed to ask if their partner was okay, already knowing that they were weakened, but not dying going off of their Force signatures. Of their little group of four, they had all dealt with watching their friends be injured to varying degrees before. Up until the explosion that nearly killed him, Q had been the one of their group that rarely if ever got more than a few small cuts and burns from his hands-on work or from sparring. Alec and James almost always came home sporting some bruise or half-healed wound that had been carelessly slathered in bacta. Wounds were hardly an uncommon occurrence to them.

This time though, as Q glanced at the red blood that was soaking the back of Eve’s robes, he felt his heart lurch in unease. It was by no means a life threatening wound on its own, and neither were the injuries he had noted on Alec and James before they parted ways, but even small hinderances like these could make that one opening that could end a jedi’s life.

James injury had been on his primary arm. That could weaken his arm significantly. And the cut to Alec’s hip could make his movements slower. Jedi may be trained to block out the pain, but the fact of it was, they were basic physical beings like the rest of the galaxy. And they were about to possibly face a Sith.

Q felt a shudder run through his body, the echoing feeling of his momentary panic no doubt reaching Eve who only spared one sympathetic glance over at him as they continued to race down the flights of stairs.

She knew better than most the details of the day that Q met his first Sith and lost his beloved master. She would know how not being able to save his master had weighed on him like cement block tied to his feet in a bottomless ocean. After all, it was Eve who held him most nights back in their padawan’s rooms, rocking him as nightmares plagued his young mind after watching his master be slaughtered.

And now the same Sith had come back, and James…James would be meeting him head on. Q knew he had to be strong, and trust that James could handle it himself, but remembering the bloodied and frozen face of his master was like a physical blow to his heart. He hugged E3 tighter against his chest as he carried his droid down the stairs.

It was taking all of his willpower to keeping heading down, rather than turning around and running back up to James. Doing so would mean that he valued James over his duty as a jedi, saving his lover while risking the lives of thousands, if not millions of souls that relied on a blasted ceremony going smoothly. It scared Q that he was even considering the very thought.

How far had he let his emotions entangle with James?

It scared him even more when he realized that as long as James was safe, he wouldn’t even care about anything else.

“Are you ready to do this?” Eve asked as the end of the staircase came into view. Her scales had become dull, the blood loss making her dehydrated and marking her skin with a sickly pallor that worried Q.

He could feel his own skin begin to itch now that they were out of the environmentally friendly confines of the Temple, almost like even the very air was working against them now.

He nodded shortly, hating that he couldn’t stop himself from glancing back up the stairs in regret.

Eve caught his look, “They’re counting on us, Q. Let us do our part, and they will do theirs,” she said softly, sympathy like a beacon in her eyes. That’s how Q knew that she sensed his inner conflict. Shame rolled off him in waves. A Master of the Order entertaining rebellious and possessive thoughts.

“Don’t worry about all that now. Stay in the present,” she reminded him, not sounding the least bit concerned of what she was feeling from her best and oldest friend.

It gave Q enough resolve for the moment to steel himself, seeing the reactor in the middle of the room as they poured out from the stairway.

Right away he saw the signs of tampering. It hardly looked like anyone even bothered trying to hide what they had done to the systems, wires and charges all intricately tangled together in a mess on the floor.

“E3, analysis,” Q prompted, falling to his knees in front of the mess of cables, trying to find any place that seemed like a good place to start.

The little blue droid rolled up to the panel, ripping it off with more strength than any droid of its size had any right to have, and extended an arm forward, plugging in and beginning to spew code back at its master’s data pad. Within seconds, thousands of l dizzying lines of code were cycling across his screen.

At his back, he could sense Eve standing guard, the hum of her saber ever-present and soothing all the same as he worked. There was always the possibility of a few of the mercs or mandalorians making their way past James and Alec’s defense, and while Eve had taken up her duty as the second line of defense, Q was very concerned about the idea of a fire-fight so close to a bloody nuclear power reactor.

“How’s it looking,” she asked after a few moments, her voice more tense than he’d ever heard it before.

Q frowned, picking out the most suspect code that popped out to him as if highlighted on paper, “Not good. There’s a lot to pick through here, he’s interwoven so many systems that if I just start ripping out his codes it could lead to catastrophic failure very quickly and very easily,” he said, his worry echoed in the low moaning tones of E3 at his side followed by a string of alarmed beeps just as E3 and Q saw the next line of code, “There’s a timer countdown. How vexing,” Q said drolly, hiding as much of the growing panic he was beginning to feel.

Eve whipped her head around, eyes widened, “Can you stop it?”

Q didn’t have time to pause and shrug, fingers already completely occupied in the task of sorting through the foreign code E3 had pulled for him. The intricacy of it all would have been stunning if he had the time to take a moment and appreciate the genius that went into it, but right now he just felt a coldness rising up in his chest as he struggled to find a quick fix in all of it.

“I hope so,” he said quietly, focusing back in on his task.

* * *

Alec and James were fighting back to back, blocking the path down where Eve and Q had run off while their remaining enemies tried to break past their defenses. Few enough were left after E3’s little shockwave that James felt confident with Alec by his side. While they had managed to take down several more, they were on the defensive at the moment, but both of their experienced eyes were ready and waiting for just the right opening where they could lash out and finish the job. It was just two left, but mandalorians were nothing to scoff at when it came to a battle. They had to play this carefully. They still had a Sith to find after all. None of this would end unless they found Silva.

Somewhere off in the building, James could feel Q’s presence, his aura growing dark with anxiety and concern. Whatever he’d found, it obviously wasn’t going to be as easy as flipping off a switch. Q would find a way though. He always did.

“They’re almost in place,” Alec said just loud enough for James to hear over the continuing slew of blaster shots.

It was true, James could see the pattern of movements as clearly as a chess board. Just a few moments more, with Alec deflecting shots strategically, making them dance to his and James’ tune, and they would be in place for one last assault to end this.

James’ fist tightened around his saber, and clenched his jaw.

Moments later, they were all perfectly lined up, and both jedi crouched at the ready to charge forward, but stopped in their tracks as a large and dark shape seemingly flew right into the center of the battle. A glaringly red saber, long and broad like the metal swords of ancient cultures, swiping around in a horrifically deadly grace.

All the blaster shots that James and Alec had just volleyed, were suddenly coming back at them in what seemed like a wall of fire. Both jedi had to move almost inhumanly fast just to avoid getting injured, but it was a near thing. Soon the smell of singed robes filled both their senses, the closeness of several of the blasts coming far too close for comfort.

James only had a half second to take in the new form joining the fight before the dark figure dove at the two jedi, his red saber coming at them like a missile. The newcomer was dressed head to toe in black, a heavy cloak draped over their body, obscuring any glimpses of a face under the shadows. Despite the lack of visual confirmation, James knew without a doubt of who had just dropped in on them. This was Silva. The Force was practically screaming it at him, the presence of a Sith making the very air tremble around them.

A new sound soon filled the room, the crashing together of lightsabers taking the place of blasters, sounding nightmarishly ominous as they crackled and hissed with each new hit. It wasn’t often that jedi fought against each other outside of sparring, especially not with the goal of death being on their minds. There was a ferocity that quickly fell over James as he started to face off against Silva, one that Alec picked up on quickly and tried to match the swift brutality that his partner was giving off.

It became quickly apparent though that Silva was no slouch when it came to a fight. In fact, he was alarmingly gifted in the art, the darkness in his heart giving him strength and withdrawing any hesitance to go for the kill at every chance. The pure hatred that poured off of him was like an airborne poison, so toxic that it made James feel like he was choking as he deflected blow after blow, only catching his breath when it was Alec’s turn to be on the receiving end of Silva’s assault.

Another crash and crackle as red hit blue, the hit hard enough that it rattled the bones in his arms. It was no surprise now that Boothroyd had fallen under the hand of this man. The sheer strength alone behind the blows would have made any seasoned jedi tremble, and James couldn’t help but think about Q, practically a child at the time, facing off against this Sith and surviving. 

There was no time to exchange words with Alec, both of them synced by the Force and knowing that anything that needed to be said would be felt instead. That was how they both knew that they were both struggling to keep up with the onslaught, fatigued by the battle before, and now facing a truly incredibly powerful foe. And with sickening realization, they both noticed that their own plan of moving the mercs into place had been turned on them, the Sith cleverly moving the two jedi away from their guarded stairwell. The remaining scraps of Silva’s army now had a clear path to where Eve and Q had gone.

“Go now, you fools!” came the first words from Silva, his voice heavily accented as he spared one moment to address his men.

James and Alec watched helplessly as the two remaining mandalorians sprinted down the stairs, unable to do more than stand at the ready, taking the moment to catch their breath. They didn’t have more than a few seconds before Silva turned back to them, finally whipping back the hood of his cloak to reveal his face.

James had to hide his grimace, seeing the man’s distorted face laid bare. Q had not been exaggerating when he had said that half of his face had been melting off thanks to his little experimental weapon. Deep and unnatural looking hollows and loose skin marred the left of his face, made only worse by the scarring that did it’s best to hold his face together after such a horrific wound. He could see now how Q had been able to scamper away with his master’s body in tow, the Sith unable to pursue.

“Force, our little Q did that?” Alec gasped under his breath.

Silva’s sharp and deadened eyes zeroed in on the jedi’s voice, his mutilated face pulling up into what could have been a vicious sneer. His red saber swung through the air with renewed ferocity as he bolted at the two winded jedi again.

“Careful, Alec. He seems a tad sensitive about it,” James managed to bite out before the two of them were once again engaged in battle with Silva. There was very little to work with in the room, most of it being completely bare beyond the littered bodies on the floor, and it was getting harder for them to catch a moment to regain bearings. James found himself relying to heavily on the Force for his senses, that he could have probably closed his eyes and performed just the same.

The heavy pressure that imprisoned the two jedi by the Sith’s presence was near painful. Such evil energy tainting everything around them that it almost felt like there was no light left in the whole world. Sith lived in what must have been an eternal darkness, and to creatures who thrived off of life and light, it was like stepping into winter while their bodies remained naked.

Drawing in a breath that felt like ice in his lungs, James fought on.

* * *

“We’ve got incoming!”

Q spared only a moment to glance over his shoulder to see Eve standing at the ready, saber held high as she moved closer to the stairwell. Only allowing a small bit of his concentration to waver, he was able to detect the approach of what felt like two lifeforms coming their way. Aggressive and calm ones. Mandalorians then. Now the anxiety in Eve’s voice made more sense.

“You’ll need to handle them if you can,” he replied after a beat, hating that he could not find the opening to stop and help her, “I’m getting close, but I need a little more time!”

In mere moments the sounds of blasters going off filled the room once more, Eve going on the defensive as she deflected everything that was aimed at herself, Q and the very explosive reactor that he was working on. While Q knew that most reactors had paneling to prevent accidental discharges from blowing up a whole city, that did not help much when panels were removed. Like how two panels remained open at that moment. One where Silva had reigned his chaos, and one where E3 was still plugged in frantically trying to assist his master.

The sizzle of Eve’s lightsaber was raw in his ears, urging him to work faster, be smarter, be cleverer, anything that would end this in enough time to help her, and return to James’ side. He flinched hard when one blast got past Eve, hitting the thankfully intact paneling above his head, but sending a shower of sparks down on him. He ignored the way the small burns that peppered his skin reminded him of not too long ago he had almost burned completely away. He didn’t have time to think on it. He was so close!

“I’ve got one down!” Eve shouted triumphantly.

“I’m almost done here,” he called back, feeling hope teasing him like a feather.

Almost…almost…just a few more lines…

_Bang!_

Q threw himself back in surprise as a stray blast flew just past his head, only saving himself from a messy death by falling to the ground and watching as the blast went straight into the open panel. As the new shower of sparks rained over him, Q couldn’t help but wonder if this would be the time he finally burned up for real.

* * *

They knew it was coming, the battle to fierce and long for it to go on forever, but it still came as a surprise when Alec and James felt the shock of the Force warning them of something happening, causing both of them to miss one step. That was all it took for Silva to make his move, raising his hand and using a wave of the Force to push Alec clean across the room where he slammed into the wall with a sickening crunch.

James watched in horror as Alec’s body fell to the ground, completely still, his deactivated saber rolling from loose fingers across the floor.

“Alec!” he cried out, his body almost automatically running towards his best friend before remembering the present, and the threat it held.

He turned cold, angry blue eyes towards the Sith, “I’m going to make you regret that,” he promised slowly bringing his blue saber around in a graceful sweep.

The Sith surprised him by laughing loudly, the sound coming out deep and distorted by his deformed cheek, “Oh, my dear James. Regret is unprofessional. Didn’t you learn anything from our beloved master? I recall her saying that many times, don’t you?”

James’ eyes narrowed, holding still in his crouch waiting for the next attack.

Silva didn’t seem bothered much, his face still twisted in a half smile as he looked upon James as if he were a lost long friend he had finally reunited with. The familiarity of it made James’ skin crawl.

“I do apologize for damaging your…friend,” he said the word with forced pleasantness, like complimenting a cook on a less than appetizing meal, “ but I wished to speak to you alone,” he said, body deceptively relaxed as he slowly walked in a circle around the crouching jedi.

James kept his face carefully blank, “You couldn’t have just sent me a private wave? I’m told you’re quite good with computers. Surely you could have managed that.”

Silva laughed again, the sound echoing off the walls of the dead room, “Oh, I knew I would like you! I knew it. I’m so glad. So very glad, you see, because this…all of this!” he said with a wide sweeping of his arms, “was as much for you as it was for me.”

James heart clenched in his chest, “What do you mean?”

“I meant that you and I have been brought together by destiny. We are so alike in so many ways. I know about the darkness in your heart that you are so afraid of. I’m here to tell you, don’t be afraid. You’ve felt alone because you have been alone. You don’t belong to the jedi and more than I do,” he said, voice thick with sympathy.

“You’re wrong,” James bit out on reflex.

Silva just looked at him sadly, “Oh, I wish I was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we soon get to find out Silva's plans, because all evil villains love to monologue. 
> 
> For anyone confused by lightsaber colors, I chose them based off of the MANY different schools of thought regarding saber colors and their meanings. One small block of text below was pulled from the fan wikia site. There are a lot more detailed descriptions out there, but this seemed the most basic.
> 
> "Blue indicated a Jedi Guardian, a Jedi who used the Force on a more physical level. Green indicated a Jedi Consular, a Jedi who preferred to reflect on the mysteries of the Force and fight the dark side at its heart. Yellow indicated a Jedi Sentinel, a Jedi who honed his or her skills in a balance of combat and scholarly pursuits."
> 
> And I just had to give Eve a purple lightsaber, because she deserves to have the freaking most awesome color available. Otherwise, she would have probably gotten a yellow one like Q.


	11. Tasting Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're all running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! Dropping off this chapter a little earlier than I intended. I was going to conclude the whole climax in this chapter, but decided to split it up into the last chapter that will have a short epilogue added in there. 
> 
> One more chapter to go on this story before I start to post my next 00Q fic. I've mentioned before that the star wars AU is part of a series, so there will be a follow up story to come sometime next year. I'll add the summary to the end of chapter 12. 
> 
> For confused/anxious readers after this chapter: If anyone is beyond confused or worried about where the last chapter is going, I will add a small text of "spoilers"/explanations at the end. If you don't want to see spoilers, skip the notes at the end of this chapter!!!!

Q stared at the sparking mess in front of him in horror. Pushing the painful prickles of burns that littered his face and exposed hands to the back of his brain, his eyes flickered back and forth over the destruction in the hopes of just finding… _something_.

“Q, are you alright? Let me see your hands.”

He heard Eve’s voice, but he couldn’t spare the attention to address her as he started to process what that blaster shot to the power grid had done.

“E3, report,” he almost whispered, dread filling his belly like acid, churning and burning deeply inside of him. Tentatively he raised his hand to try and brush aside some of the burnt wires, snapping it back as the Force flared in warning as another spastic set of sparks burst out.

A low set of beeps and whistles promptly filled up his senses as E3 dutifully gave its analysis, each moment passing only decreasing Q’s hope that they would get out of this.

“Q?” Eve asked, her voice holding all the worry that the Order would likely have scolded her for expressing.

Q licked at his dried and cracked lips before clearing his throat, the smoke having roughed up his voice as if he’d been screaming for hours, “The damage to the controls is extensive. It would take days to re-establish the circuit boards. Like a ship without a joystick. The only thing we can do at this point is manually insert coding directly into the system to try and shut down all systems to avoid catastrophic failure.”

Eve’s eyes widened, “Okay, so how do we do that?”

Q squared his aching shoulders and crawled over to E3, pressing in a hidden button on its flank, a keypad flipping out in response, “I can code through E3 while its connected, but…coding like this takes hours. Not minutes,” he said, but he was already beginning to type quickly, ignoring the sharp sting of the burns that littered his fingers. Of course, he’d still try. Even a call for evacuation at this point would do very little. Hundreds would die no matter what they did. James would die…Even if it took his last breath, Q would _try_ though _._ What truly made his heart sink however, was that he _knew_ without a doubt that there would not be enough time. He knew it even before E3 informed him of the calculated completion time. It was hopeless.

But jedi weren’t allowed to _be_ hopeless. Their very existence was built on hope. It was why Q was still typing rather than grabbing his friend and his droid and running for the hills.

And Eve, blessed, amazing and brave Eve, she didn’t run or begin to panic. Instead she sat down beside E3 and Q, taking up a meditative kneel as if to exude peace around them when all Q felt was chaos.

“What about the bomb?” Eve asked quietly.

“If the system shuts down, the coding to set off the bomb will be deactivated too.”

She nodded sagely, despite the sad look in her eyes, “Then it’s up to you and E3.”

* * *

The smell of ozone burned in his nostrils, familiar, but not bringing him comfort like it had in the past. Not when it came from fighting with the person who had killed his Master and had almost taken away Q as well.

James was beginning to understand why the Order did not like its people to be emotionally involved in their missions. The pressure of it went beyond responsibility. A crushing weight hung on his heart, knowing that this would be his only chance to end this all, end all this pain and suffering, right here and now.

Alec’s crumpled form at the other side of the room was only a physical reminder of what was at stake if he failed.

His opponent was talented, his skills only made all the more terrifying by the strength given to him by his Dark sources. In every sweep of his lightsaber James could feel the raw power behind it. And the _anger._

So much anger. So much pain.

And loneliness.

It was suffocating. And it was tantalizingly familiar. Like a forbidden fruit that James had guiltily partaken in before. In a burst of sudden denial, James used the Force to propel him back halfway across the room, just to put some space between himself and Silva.

The Sith let him, holding back in his pursuit as he watched James all but flee from him with an eerie smile across his scarred face. His saber rested lazily at his side, not even looking the least bit winded while James could feel the start of a tremor in his knees as fatigue set in. He knew that he needed to end this quickly, so he could find Q and get out of here, but he was loathed to step close again. The radiating darkness that fell off of Silva was as repulsive as it was intriguing, and James wanted nothing more than to never sense something like that again.

Silva grinned, knowingly, “You feel it, don’t you? It’s intoxicating, isn’t it?” he asked, making it sound like it was an exotic perfume.

“If by intoxicating you mean poisonous,” James shot back, taking the time to catch his breath and analyze his enemy.

The Sith chuckled, the sound coming out hollow due to the caved in part of his cheek, “Ah, but many things are poisonous that we all enjoy anyway. Alcohol for example, often used as an escape from reality or to release our inhibitions. I know that you favor such poisons as alcohol. You sip at darkness as much as you do ale, savoring the bitterness that comes with it. Acquired taste and all that. I recognized the scent the first time I encountered you, you know? I couldn’t believe how poetic destiny had become. I come here to exact my long-awaited revenge against the Order, to destroy in by taking out their High Council that would have me killed for completing a mission a little creatively, and what do I find?”

“That nobody even remembered who you were?” James taunted lightly, not liking Silva’s familiar tone.

Silva waved his hand absently, “That hardly bothers me. It even helped me in the end. After all, it’s easy to hide from the ones who are so desperate to forget you. Right?” he started to pace in a large circuit around James, looking for all the world like he was in no rush and there wasn’t a bomb ticking away beneath their feet, “No, what I find is that my beloved master had taken on another padawan, and that he carried darkness within him too. Like she was trying to prove to herself that she could train a Force sensitive child, touched by darkness, and that _this time_ she would get it right.”

James sneered, “Or she just thought you a fluke and that any mistakes made were your own.”

Silva shrugged, swinging his lightsaber in a lazy arc around him as he continued to walk casually around the room, “Well, perhaps now she has changed her mind since becoming one with the Force by the hand of her old padawan. Perhaps now that she is all seeing, she can finally recognize her failings regarding the _two_ of us.”

* * *

Sweat was beginning to bead on his forehead, but he couldn’t spare the second to wipe his sleeve at it, not when he knew that there wasn’t any moment to spare, not when he was watching the seconds of their lives literally tick away before them on the screen.

It was only by sheer force of will that Q was able to keep his fingers from trembling, knowing that even one missed keystroke at this point would be the end.

He didn’t want it to be the end.

All his life they were told that death was not the end, that there was always the Force, but in this moment, Q wasn’t ready to move on from this life. He wanted more time with James in the physical world. He wanted to watch more sunset with him. He wanted to swim with him in the Gardens. To share their beds in the rare occasions that they allowed themselves to laze about in the sheets past breakfast hour.

Want.

He wasn’t supposed to want things.

He especially wasn’t supposed to want to live for one person.

“Q? Why am I sensing anguish coming off of you? Is there no hope?”

Eve’s inquiry pulled him from his darkening thoughts, but the ache lingered in his heart as the reality of their situation started to register with him. His fingers didn’t slow, but it was only by forcing himself to continue. It was like he was stranded in the desert, knowing he would never see water again but walking on because of sheer determination that he would go down fighting. Or typing, as it were.

This was his fight though.

“Eve,” he said as calmly as he could manage, “You need to leave, find Mallory and start evacuations of the square.”

“Like hell I will! If there’s no hope then you’re coming too,” she said, grabbing hold of his robed shoulder roughly, tugging him back.

He shrugged her off, “No. At the very least I can slow things down a bit. Give you more time.”

“You’ll die,” she said, pain already lacing her voice.

“And any life I save by doing this will be worth it,” he replied, forcing himself to believe it.

He couldn’t see it, but he could feel the tears begin to form in her eyes, “What about James? H-he’s lost so much already. I don’t…I don’t think he’ll survive losing you too. His soul would be wrecked. The Order may not be able to keep him.”

And there it was. The suspicion that Q knew that she and Alec held, finally laid out in the open. That the only thing keeping James in the Light was by the pull of others. Like M. Like Q. He didn’t have time to bear it much mind. The ways of the jedi was too deeply ingrained in him to turn and run now. No matter how it made his soul scream out in pain.

“I’ve made my decision. No go before—”

A cascade of urgent beeps erupted from where E3 was still loyally linked up to the ticking mainframe. At first, Q thought that something else had gone wrong, but the more he listened to his droid, the more he wished that something _had_ gone wrong.

Q was shaking his head before his droid even finished, his horror causing a spike of fear to shoot through Eve behind him, “No. No, I won’t let you do that. I know that it will work, but I can’t let you do that. I can’t!” he cried out, his typing becoming frantic again as E3 continued to argue with him.

“What’s it saying?” Eve asked, her voice rising in panic.

Q was shaking his head, “It wants to overload the system with its own coding. Like a virus. Like ten thousand viruses, all conflicting with the existing codes. E3’s complex adaptive coding would bring any program to a screeching halt, ending the countdown and eliminating the threat of the bomb until the system underwent a complete cleanout.”

Eve’s eyes widened, “That sounds perfect. We can end this right now then and no one will get hurt.”

“Someone will get hurt! By linking up with the system, E3 would be infected with Silva’s coding. It would overload and burn out E3 just like the mainframe,” he spat out, tears already burning at his eyes, “It…E3 would be a smoking pile of nothing.”

It hurt even to say. Droids were a dime a dozen in the galaxy. Q himself had made over a dozen different models in his lifetime, all having various tasks and skills to perform around the Temple and labs. None of them were on par with his BR-E3. That droid had been his first. The intended design to just be a do-it-all companion droid, but it had become so much more.

Alec and James had jokingly called it his baby on numerous occasions in the past, but they weren’t entirely wrong in the metaphor. E3 was his creation, years of adaptive coding built in so that it would learn and grow as any child would. There was no recreating it. E3’s coding was half Q’s work and half E3’s experience.

In the lonely weeks when James and his friends were away, E3 had been his only companion. Hell, just a week before E3 had saved his life by guiding Alec and James to his location in a burning lab instead of rolling to safety like basic coding would have told it to do.

E3 whistled softly, and then retracted the keyboard from under Q’s fingers.

Q cried out, frantically pushing at the button to bring it back, but E3 was blocking his attempts.

“No, I can’t let you do this. Please,” he said, gripping the sides of his droid as if ready to rip it away from the circuitry and run off with it.

Low humming tones filled his ears. The mechanical noises having been a familiar and comforting presence when Q felt the most cold. Like now.

Q sniffed, gasping in a deep breath as he shook his head again, “I know I programmed you to keep me safe, but…not at the cost of yourself. I never programmed you for that.”

E3 whistled sadly, one arm extending out to wipe away the single tear that Q had let fall, with far more gentleness than any droid should be capable of having.

Q choked out a sob, his hands falling from his droid and landing limply by his sides.

“What did it say?” Eve asked him gently, her voice thick with emotion.

Q pulled in a shaky breath, “It said, it has learned many things from the jedi and his master. Sacrifice among them. Love being its favorite. _Choice_ being the most freeing,” he repeated softly, “E3 _chooses_ to sacrifice itself because it loves his master. And it hopes that I will choose to live for love.”

* * *

Silva shocked him by not even twitching before erupting in motion as he launched himself at the jedi, James only pulling up his saber in time to block the blow by sheer reflex. The strength and speed left it so James had no room for anything other than parrying of each new strike, each one making his bones vibrate with the force of them.

They fell into a dark dance, their feet moving together in a deadly and intimate fashion, almost as if Silva could anticipate every move that he made before he even made it. It was frightening to think himself that obvious, or even more alarming, that Silva knew him that well.

It was mere moments into their clash that it struck James. That this oppressive feel had haunted him for weeks, yes, but there was a time that it felt as corporeal as now.

“You were there. At the market,” he said after a parry led to a small pause.

Silva nodded, taking an offensive stance but not moving forward, “I was indeed. Destiny put us on each other’s paths that day. It wasn’t hard to pick up the presence of three Force sensitive beings, no matter what you were wearing. It was to my own surprise that you were among those three as I caught up. At first, I thought it fortuitous. Fate had handed M’s padawan to me on a silver platter. I was even tempted to kill you there, just to send a message to my dear Master before I killed her too, but two things stopped me.”

“And what were those?” James asked, trying to convince himself it was to give him time to look for an opening, rather than admit his own curiosity.

Silva’s smile was all teeth, likening him to many monsters that James had encountered on his travels, “I felt your aura, and knew right away that you were like me before I was betrayed by the Order.”

James swallowed hard, wondering if the darkness within him was really all that obvious for all to see, even a Sith that had never met him before. Dread and shame filled him.

Throwing his head back, Silva laughed, “Do not worry so, it wasn’t so obvious. Not until I took note of the other jedi scum by your side,” his eyes turned dark, as his aura turned purple and red with rage, “No, I didn’t get real hint of it until I saw the little brat giving you doe eyes, that face still recognizable even after he aged. Imagine my glee and surprise in learning that the little mouse that burned off half my face was one of the ones tied to my vengeance. A master of the Order, casually walking around the open market. Vulnerable. Like he was when I killed his master all those years ago. My hand was already on my lightsaber, ready to melt away his sweet face as he had destroyed mine…but as soon as my intent had been made in my brain, you suddenly lit up like a beacon.”

His rage turned slowly into pity tinged with amusement, a bitter feeling that rippled through the room. It made the hair on James’ arms stand on end.

“The Force warned you of my intent to kill the little master, didn’t it, Knight Bond?” he asked in a mocking tone, “Both in the market and in the crystal lab. I saw you run in there, fire blazing around you, your focus solely on the withering boy on the floor.”

James just stared at him, knowing his emotions would give the answer away before he could. The Force had warned him. Him. Not even Alec had felt a flicker of warning in the market. And no one knew that the fire had begun until the blast had rocked the Temple.

“Why?” James asked, his voice brittle.

“Because you defy the teachings of the Order. The darkness within you guiding you away from their dry lessons for years. That little shred of darkness you obtained at an early age separating you from them. You sensed it, even if you didn’t understand it. The rules didn’t apply to you, because…you knew on an unconscious level that you didn’t really belong in the Order. You are prone to anger, fear, jealousy, selfishness…nothing like your friends and peers. And you are right. You are not like them. You stop embracing the Order because you have embraced something else. You have, whether you know it or not, have claimed the little master as yours. A possession belonging to you. The Force warned you because something of yours was threatened. You felt me because you are the only one who tastes the dark side daily, who has possessions that can be targeted. You chose the path of desire and possession. I fell down the path of ambition and pride. And here we both are.”

He said this while giving James the same pitying, amused expression, but the way he said it spoke of something all the more damning. Understanding.

Around him it felt like the room dropped in temperature, a deep-rooted coldness that stole his breath away and made his hand tremble, his saber clicking in his hand audibly.

_Q._

* * *

“No, no I can’t. There has to be another way!”

“Q, we have no other choice, it’s too late to save anyone at this point!”

A choked off sob.

“…I’m so sorry, Berry.”

A gentle hum and whistle followed by a shower of sparks as the smell of burnt rubber and metal filled the air.

* * *

James had been stabbed a few times before, so when the sharp sting shot through his heart he was truly confused as to why there was no knife sticking out of his chest as he fell to his knees in that cold, cold room. Silva starting to prowl slowly around him once again, ignoring the blatant opening for attack.

Silva’s eyes stayed on him, the expression similar to ones he’d seen on Q’s face while looking at a fascinating specimen. James paid him only partial mind, the rest of his attention searching out for the cause of his sudden agony, only to realize that the source was from somewhere else. Someone else.

“Q,” he mouthed, eye wide, wondering what could have possibly caused him to feel such emotional pain.

“Hmm. We have not blown up it seems. I guess your little lover found a way to stop the bomb after all. Clever little boy that he is, I had assumed he would,” he said with a careless shrug, kicking absently at a corpse beside his foot, “But you see now, yes? You are on your knees now because of the pain he is going through. The Order would say that is a weakness, and it should be avoided. I think though he is as much your strength as he is your weakness. Your selfishness saved the one you love. I was going to kill him right there in the market, but you pulled him away before I could. I tried to blow him away in the labs, and you saved him before he could shrivel up. The Force is still there by your side, even in Darkness. Think of what else you can save of yours if you give in to your deepest, darkest desires.”

James shivered, his immediate reaction to shrug off the words, “You talk too much,” he said, but it lacked the bite he had intended. He sounded as weary as he felt, Silva’s words pelting against him like he was being stoned to death.

Silva hardly looked bothered by the comment, shrugging it off as easily as James shed his robes.

“Perhaps, but I know that you feel the truth in my words nonetheless. Just think of what you could accomplish by giving into your desires. Think of your little half-breed lover that I find myself struggling to kill. You _want_ him, but you are taught you can never have him. The Order will never let the two of you bond in the way your heart wants to, they would rather separate you in the end. Do you think that both of you will survive that?” he asked, gesturing mildly with his still ignited saber, “You can save yourself by saving him too. By giving in.”

A numbness started to fall over James as he pictured it. He knew he was balancing on a knifes edge of keeping with what the Order deemed appropriate and what they condemned, and who knew the damage he would do to Q’s reputation among his peers if he finally fell from grace. He truly could destroy them. Just because he loved someone, one person, and wanted them to feel the same.

He had dreams in the past, of him and Q off in some corner of the galaxy, alone and happy without the weight of millions of souls on their shoulders. The two of them letting their hearts bond in a way that everyone else in the galaxy was allowed to do…except for the jedi.

After years of keeping it packed away in the dark recesses of his heart, James truly felt the lifelong weariness, the lifelong fear…of loneliness. Of never being loved again, never belonging again after his parents were so ruthlessly taken from him. Was it so awful to want to be loved?

“What do you want from me, Silva? Why tell me all this?” James finally asked.

Silva’s expression turned thoughtful, his lightsaber falling to his side limply for the first time as he stared across the room at the jedi knight. He looked weary too. Years of carrying the emotional burden weighing on him like a bag of boulders.

“At first I wanted nothing but for you and everyone else in the Order to die. I wanted to destroy the Order, burn them down to nothing but ashes, and expose them for all their sins that they pretend are nonexistent. I wanted my master to be killed before she could betray anyone else like she did to me. I wanted it to happen when the damned K’Leeran’s decided that they were finally ready to join the republic after one human sacrifice and over a decade of civil war that could have been avoided if the Order had not given me away. It was going to be so poetic. Destiny practically writing an ode for me to recite by lining it all up so perfectly…and then Fate went and threw you into my path, and I see someone like me. Someone who I can train and mold, protect and guide. I see hope for the both of us,” he said, his voice deep, but his eyes misty and wistful as he regarded James.

He held out a black gloved hand towards the jedi, “Join me and be who you always knew you were destined to become.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG Berry I'm so so so SORRY! D'X *gross sobbing*
> 
> For anxious peeps! James and Q are not going "dark side" now or later in the series. They are just realizing that they are not perfect in the eyes of the Order and they will begin to question things. For those who were not nerdy enough to read the many many book series that exist, after the Order falls in the Star wars universe (gee, thanks Anikin), jedi and force sensitive people are no longer held to the same high standards as Order members were. Babies are everywhere. Everyone gets married. It's a mess, but it's allowed. James and Q will just explore this freedom earlier than others. It will also be a mess. At first.


	12. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! We've finally made it to the last chapter of the story!!!! Thanks to all who have stuck with me so far.  
> There is an open ending to this fic, so know that I plan to start on the next installment to the Star Wars AU sometime early next year. Feel free to check in on the progress if you find yourself getting impatient.
> 
> Thank you all!!!

James was no stranger to temptation.

Although it could be argued that no jedi was on unfamiliar terms with seduction in its many forms. So much of their culture relied on abstaining from so many things that other life forms thrived off of. Something as innocent as an emotion could make you an outcast, a rebel. Indulging in acts such as romance were enough to be exiled. Jedi weren’t allowed to fear, but it seemed that they did in fact fear a loss of control over the powerful Force sensitive beings that made up the Order.

It got tiresome, fighting such basic things that only came natural as much as it came naturally to every other culture in the galaxy. James had spent most of his life in fear of his fear. And wasn’t that a fucking kick in the balls.

And here he was, looking at the hand held out to him that offered him escape from his suffocating world, a break from the mold he’d been forced into despite not quite fitting. Silva was far from attractive in any way, but James still felt the tug of a siren’s call as he spoke.

“I’ve never really fancied myself as evil,” James said slowly, eyes still glued to the black leathered hand before him.

Silva shrugged, “Some may say that we are not the evil ones if we are seeking justice against those who have done wrong and continue to evade punishment. Depending on one’s point of view, the Order may be the evil ones. Are they not currently lying to the K’Leeran’s to obtain information? Against their religious views?” he shook his head, “No, we are not the evil ones. We are the angry ones.”

“Is being angry any different?”

“Perhaps the galaxy needs more anger. We often allow evil to continue because we aren’t angry _enough._

It made sense in a way. Oppressed people rising up in rebellion after being treated like slaved to their own government. There were thousand such stories, and the rebels went down in history as the good guys. But this, what Silva was doing…this wasn’t fighting for freedom.

No.

Blue sizzled to life in his hands, arching up gracefully as James swung violently at the Sith before him with all his strength, catching his side in a burning glance before the Knight flipped back several paces. He watched with narrowed eyes as Silva roared in fury, barely acknowledging the large gash that was now leaking red blood steadily from his side.

It was odd, but James almost was convinced it should have been coming out black.

“Why are you fighting this?” Silva bellowed, darting forward with gnashing teeth and a savage arc of his red lightsaber as he began to wildly swing at James.

James hands were steady, his heart for once at peace even as he faced true darkness before him. He’s made his choice. Silva’s actions were not justice. This was a Sith’s revenge, no matter how he tried to paint it as anything else. The Order was no doubt flawed, but so was James. And James was not evil. He knew that in his heart now more than anything because…there was no way that someone as perfect and bright as Q would choose to stand by his side if he was.

James felt resolve sink into his bones, his parries of red against blue becoming calm and precise. Nothing like the frenzied counters from before. His hands began to feel like they only half belonged to him, guiding him like a master would a padawan. Numbly he began to feel the chaos fall around Silva, making his blows frantic and clumsy with his rage.

It wasn’t long until the Sith was panting, his arms shaking slightly as their fight drew out longer, eventually having them switch sides of the room from before. Now James stood at the bottom of the stairs that led up, Alec’s body still crumpled behind him, and Silva stood near the stairs where Eve and Q had disappeared to what felt like a lifetime ago.

Silva’s chest was heaving, from exertion or rage James was not sure, but he knew it meant his enemy was dwindling.

Roughly swiping his arm over his sweaty brow, Silva glared at him, his face red with the glow from the saber held high, “All you had to do was join me. I would have given you the galaxy on a silver platter. You could have everything you always wanted,” he sneered, eyes dark and menacing.

James felt nothing though, not until a slight form appeared at the archway behind him. He looked distraught, eyes red rimmed, skin pale, his hands a mess of green blood and blisters clutching at something large that was bundled up in his robe. He stopped at the entrance, taking in the scene before him with Eve at his shoulder. Green eyes fell on the blue eyed jedi, taking half a step towards him, James’ name on his lips only to be held back by a wary Eve.

He didn’t look like someone who was coming back from victory, but even so, seeing him alive and whole sparked inside of James. A light long absent flickering on.

The buzzing in the back of his brain ceased, and James felt his peace fall back into place. He looked over at Silva, matching the pitying expression thrown his way from before, “You may have taken M from this world, but I already have everything I could ever want already,” he said before swinging up his saber and charging forward.

It was a blur from there, his arms moving faster than his eyes could even track, but somehow, when time seemed to stop and the world came back into focus, Silva was kneeling on the ground with James saber pierced through his heart.

* * *

“James? James, please say something. Are you alright? Please be alright, I can’t bear to lose anyone else today.”

The sorrowful words were the first thing that James heard as time began again. By then Silva’s body had slumped lifelessly to the floor and James had somehow already deactivated his lightsaber and had a frantic Q pawing all over his body looking for injuries.

It took a moment more before Q’s words sunk in, snapping James back to reality like a rubber band against skin. He snatched one of Q’s wrists tightly in his fist while the other snagged at his chin, searching those green eyes, “What do you mean? Who’s gone? Where’s Alec?” he asked desperately.

“Shh, shh, he’s fine. Eve’s checking on him now,” Q said, relief evident in his voice as James seemed to finally come out of whatever trance he’d fallen into, “We let Mallory know that we need a cleanup crew and extraction, and probably a trip for all of us to the medical ward. The ceremony is still going on, so there’s hope that we can get out before anyone has to know what happened here. We…we did it.”

Despite them overcoming what seemed insurmountable odds, Q hardly sounded like he was happy about it, nor did he feel it. There was a horrid ache around the young master, like a festering wound left open and exposed. It made James heart ache in sympathy.

Then he noticed the bundled robe that now sat beside Q where he crouched next to James.

There was an absence. Something was missing. Like a jedi without a lightsaber. It felt wrong.

Reluctantly, James reached out to the brown robe, folding back a piece of the fabric to see what was beneath. Q let out a pained moan as the remains of his beloved droid were laid bare before them.

Blue paint was now charred black in the few places that weren’t crumbling away from the cracked metal. The dome that usually swiveled around curiously was limp and dangling off of several melted wires. Of what James could see past the metal cracks, the insides were little more than ashes and blackened bits and torn metal. Much too similar to the mess that he’d seen inside Ronson’s ship. This must have been agony for Q to see.

Gently, James laid the cloth back over what was once the most brilliant little droid James had ever known.

“Rest well, Berry. I’ll keep watch over your master from here,” he said softly, pulling Q tightly against his side, kissing the top of his head tenderly when he felt the tremors of suppressed sobs.

He only pulled away when Eve finally announced that the extraction team was there.

It was time to go home.

* * *

_One Moon Cycle Later_

In the time following the death of Silva, the Order had somehow managed to sweep the whole incident under the metaphorical carpet with an efficiency that made James and his friends rather uncomfortable. It echoed a little too soundly with the venom that the Sith had spewed. Q wasn’t allowed to talk about the acts of the High Council that he’d been privy too, but he clearly wasn’t comfortable with it all.

Mallory too had looked reluctant upon hearing the reports from James and the others while they were ensconced in the medical ward. They all knew lying to the public was nothing new when it came to politics, but it left a bitter taste in their mouths that somehow the Order had become a political body sometime over the centuries.

Still though, the K’Leeran’s had happily joined the Republic and their scientific and medical advances were already saving lives. It was the only thing that lifted the weight from his heart regarding everything they had to do that day. 

They had all been treated for their wounds in shocked silence, the weight of their actions hanging heavily in the air as the medical droids hovered around them. Alec’s head and leg wounds were cared for, the crack in his skull doing nothing to hold him back from forcing every last detail out of the others once he woke. The gash on Eve’s back was sealed up quickly, but there would no doubt be a large scar left behind as a reminder of the day she faced down several Mandalorians.

Q’s hands were a mess of blisters and sores and he was forced to wear gloves filled with bacta for several days, but they would heal without any real damage, much to James’ relief.

They were all a mess, but they were all alive. James couldn’t have possibly been more relieved to know that the deranged Sith had not managed to take anything else from him before his demise at the end of James’ saber. There would still be days to come of the four of them together in the Garden. Once they were all healed of course.

Although, there were some hurts though that all the medical droids in the galaxy could never heal.

* * *

Laying on the couch, James watched as Q carefully began to weld some indiscernible bits of metal together. A sea of wires, bits and bobs, metal and gears, circuits and bulbs all spread on the floor around the young man who despite being utterly surrounded by various tech, seemed completely comfortable.

Comfortable, but not content.

There was an undercurrent of frustration that enveloped Q every time he came back to this project that he had started the moment his hands were healed enough to attempt.

Berry, in both James’ and Q’s eyes, was irreplaceable.

But, after only one week of the little droids’ absence by Q’s side it became obvious that Q would need to find something to fill that void. James wholly agreed. Beyond versatility and utility, Berry had been a companion to Q while James was away, he had admitted on a bleak night in the following days of the Embassy ceremony.

James knew just how devastating loneliness could become if prolonged, and had quietly encouraged Q to pick up his tool kit once more to bring to life another little BR model.

It was three weeks and several tossed models later that the current iteration of BR had moved beyond the general body construction. A shell was almost completely formed, the only panels missing were for interior mechanical work as far as James could tell.

It was incredible just how many bits of tech could fit into such a small ball. No wonder Berry had always felt so heavy. There was not a centimetre of space left to spare inside.

Speaking of space, there was too much of it between himself and Q at the moment.

Having finally admitted to himself that he not only loved Q, and mentally claimed him for himself, James felt free. His touches had become more tender and intimately charged, making Q all but melt into his arms whenever they were alone. James felt himself smiling more easily, his loneliness almost completely abated. He felt a peace he couldn’t recall ever having before. And he craved it like air.

James swung his legs off of the couch, eyeing the carpet that had become a minefield of sharp tech, and raised one hand in the air, pulling at the Force around him.

Slowly, the scattered items lifted into the air, floating stably and parting like a curtain as James stepped through only to gracefully fall back in place as he passed. The last piece fell back onto the floor without a sound as James sat down behind Q, wrapping the young Master in his arms and pulling him up into his lap.

Q’s focus remained on the parts in his hands, but he didn’t protest which was a good sign.

“I see you’ve gotten your control back,” Q commented mildly. It was an understatement. James had never had such fine control of the Force before, but it was just like Q to keep James’ pride within acceptable Order levels.

James tightened his arms around Q’s middle, burying his nose against the skin of Q’s neck and breathing in his scent, reveling in the moment and in the fact that he could do this. That Q let him do this.

“Is that a Lightsaber in your trousers, or are you once again attempting to break some sort of personal record for rounds of sex before lunch?” Q asked dryly, not taking his gaze off of the tiny screw that he was working into place.

James chuckled, “I know better than to try and drag you away when you’re hip deep in tech.”

Q spared a second to smile over his shoulder in gratitude before quickly returning his focus to the droid that seemed to be taking shape before him. Absently he swiped at the data pad by his side, flipping through the blueprints that he had made up for this latest model. James stared at them over Q’s shoulder, taking in the changes with a bit of sadness and intrigue.

The general shape was the same it seemed. The very top of the domed head only coming up to Q’s knee at best, the bottom part still rounded. The lens on the dome was a decent bit larger this time though, giving it a slightly childish and endearing façade of wide eyed wonder. There were some added internal features that looked interesting, making James somewhat eager to field test it. This was Q’s droid though. It belonged at Q’s side as much as James did.

James narrowed his eyes as Q swiped to another page, “You’re going to go with red?”

He felt Q tense up minutely in his arms, deflating just as fast as a momentary wave of sadness rolled off of him before dissipating, “Blue was too…familiar. This isn’t a copy of E3. There could never be an exact copy made, so I decided to make the distinction as visible as possibly. Besides, it’s a cheery sort of red. Bright. Won’t get tripped over as much as Berry did.”

James chuckled, “I suppose you’re right. Although watching politicians literally tripping over themselves was one of my favorite features of Berry.”

He recalled fondly Berry’s early years, when his adaptive coding was still in the early stages. It was almost like watching a newborn find its legs, occasionally rolling into glass doors, or getting stuck in various places it thought it could fit into. This new droid that Q was so lovingly putting together, it would be like having a toddler underfoot for a while as the coding started rendering.

It was what made Q’s droids so special. Adaptive coding. Not standard or upgraded. It learned as a human would on top of basic functions that Q had created for it. It was brilliant and fascinating, and utterly hilarious to watch as it came to life before them.

James eye caught sight of a small scribble at the top of the page, “BR-EV?”

Q huffed out what could have been a laugh, “Yes. It is technically based off of the E5 model that I scrapped, so I changed the 5 to V,” he muttered, grabbing at some wires off to their left, “Figured you’d want to give it some ridiculous nickname, so I at least made it easy and the least obnoxious option I could.”

“EV then? I like it.”

“Me too.”

"Almost as much as I like you."

Q's smile was small but held the warmth of a sun, "I like you too, James."

* * *

It would only be another cycle after that before James would be sent out on his next mission. He just never expected that this time around, Q would be sent with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again!

**Author's Note:**

> For those curious about Q's droid, here's a link to what I picture it looking like. That type of droid is similar to BB-8, but about half the size, coming up to Q's mid calf. Hopefully the link works.
> 
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fpbs.twimg.com%2Fmedia%2FD32092AU4AIFgmZ.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fuselessr5unit%2Fstatus%2F1133428272824344577&tbnid=n2Mo6M7T-MWAnM&vet=12ahUKEwjuytGEk6fpAhXFNawKHYcQDmEQMygAegUIARCbAQ..i&docid=O0HXKA57_QoeGM&w=900&h=1200&q=nr-s3&ved=2ahUKEwjuytGEk6fpAhXFNawKHYcQDmEQMygAegUIARCbAQ


End file.
